Iāve kind of lost the plot, donāt know whats going on anymoreā¦
Iāve been at my set point since november now, not gaining not loosing, this is what Iāve been wishing for since 2018
Iāve spent the last 5 years gaining and loosing weight in a 30kg span, restricting, binging, restricting, binging
Iāve completely lost hope that normal eating and staying the same weight was ever possible for me
however it is and I canāt quite believe it, my eating still isnāt perfect but it isnāt anywhere near being as chaotic as it used to be, I stopped not being able to focus on anything other than food
So tell me why it still isnāt enough, tell me why my mind makes me believe this is a perfect starting point for loosing weight again, as if this all wasnāt to happen again
I know that if I loose weight now, the next 5 years are gonna be unbearable, restricting, binging, restricting, binging
Tell me why my mind is playing tricks on me, making me feel guilty again for eating when Iām hungry, as if I havenāt wished for this the whole time
I hate this illsness with all my being, however there seems to be no escape