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@sitarabird

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There was a man
who learned my undoing by touch,
who took me apart slowly-
not with cruelty,
but with hunger mistaken for love.
I came undone quietly.
The most dangerous kind of breaking.
He ruined me in ways
that still know my name.
Left his fingerprints on my bones,
taught my heart how to ache
without asking why.
I rebuilt myself in the dark of him-
where desire learns restraint,
where love sharpens into survival.
I became something watchful,
something awake.
Something he never imagined
would rise from what he left behind.
Years later,
he would choke on his own fire,
caught in the wars he waged inward-
desire turning feral,
memory refusing mercy.
He would finally see the wreckage,
and it would not forgive him.
And I-
I would still love him.
Not gently.
Not safely.
Love like a wound that never closes,
only deepens its intelligence.
But I am afraid of him.
Afraid of the way he might look at me
and recognize the storm behind my eyes-
the restless weather,
the lightning that learned patience.
Afraid he would understand
that I am no longer the ruin,
but the omen.
That loving me now
would mean stepping into a fire
that remembers him.
And still-
some nights
my heart reaches for his name
like it is a war it would lose again
just to feel alive
“We are unusual and tragic and alive.”
— David Eggers
What does it mean to have your vertex in the sign of Leo?
(Vertex in Leo)
The nature of the Vertex in astrology is of a karmic point that needs activation to bring out its power. On its own the Vertex is a sleeping giant. To awaken the vertex an event over the course of a lifetime needs to occur to open its suppressed nature. The vertex is known as a gate which opens a new world to a person’s life. Sometimes it’s unleashing can be very significant and it all can depend on where in the birth chart the vertex sits.
When a planet in transit or a planet of a person in synastry conjuncts the vertex it serves as a platform to activate the vertex. The conjunction opens the energies of the sign and house the Vertex it sits in. If the vertex sits in a sign with little to no overall dominance in a chart the awakening can feel like a new world is open to a person. However if the vertex is in an area of the chart with dominance and many planets then the effects may be little felt.
With Vertex in Leo a person is to develop a sense of individuality in this lifetime when the Vertex is activated. Another person or event in your life sees that you put Leo energy at the forefront. The vertex person is expected to distance themselves from giving away their power to friends, groups, affiliations and others in general for their own personal growth. The person needs to turn away from the Aquarian efforts from the anti-vertex, and infuse their soul with Leo Traits.
The karmic energy of the vertex here is pushing you toward accepting Leo energy in your life. The soul grows when it has fun. Being creative and taking time for the self enriches the soul and is needed. The soul flourishes more when it expresses its individuality and the vertex helps gain this insight when activated. The soul here learns the need to draw attention to itself, instead of giving it away to a group or submitting to the greater collective
The Karmic lesson of the vertex in Leo is to move away from doing things on an impersonal level that may be all too familiar. Relations should include what makes you an individual, your thoughts, experiences, and opinions should play into your expression. Basically a person should care about expressing oneself creatively. Developing hobbies and an idea of fun is important for a person’s individual well-being. There may be encouragement to take more risks and gamble from the event that triggers the vertex.
This Vertex activation moves a person towards more involvement in love and romance. New desires for affection and appreciation of love can be brought to the surface. The person who activates this vertex may also encourage the vertex person to have children perhaps when they might not want any. It can also be seen that the person just finds a new love of being with children. The individual may also be shown the enjoyment of being a child an encouraged to live more youthfully.
Since the Vertex is a fated Karmic point that changes a person, Even if the event or person that activated the Vertex leaves, the vertex individual may be changed forever. When activated the Vertex brings permanent change usually with new qualities for the better. In this case a person is born with a new fire for life in Leo traits.
Conjuncting vertex activation is serious business, and it’s true that it brings permanent change. Speaking from personal experience it’s one of the most significant events of my life to date, and while it wasn’t all sunshine and daisies, it’s certainly been for the best, and I’m a much better, stronger person than I used to be.

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“I want to rest. I want to breathe quietly again.”
— Tennessee Williams
“I think one of my favorite feelings is laughing with someone and realizing half way through how much you enjoy their existence.”
— Unknown
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Easy Blueberry Crisp

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My heart has always done it’s best to run with the wind and the wild things.
“The goal is to never stay the same. I always want to be changing and evolving. That’s the whole point of life and the whole point of making art is to be constantly moving.”
— Sufjan Stevens
Gulia Frame | @gulia_foodstories

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“You’re the only one I trust enough to see inside my soul.”
— William Chapman
eclipses often obscure the light allowing us to peer, hopefully compassionately, at our shadow. the aspects of ourselves that otherwise make us feel less than whole. how we forge relationship with these parts of ourselves yokes the connection between all of us. we may have experienced those that are in touch with their “otherness” as being able to hold space in a way to allow vulnerability to unfold. authentic expression devoid of repression. a safe space to feel our hearts being held. how similar we all are yet how often we focus on differences. here we sit in the liminal space where we can allow dreams to proliferate. we can peer wholly unto ourselves to see where and how we may hold ourselves back. what stories do we cling to that are ready to be composted? what aspects have we been hiding that we feel called to share now? #sbramblings #moonmusing #solareclipse #yogawithsb https://www.instagram.com/p/CkJKV4iLiIW/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=