Memory Moths

When I look at myself in the mirror,

I don’t recognize my own eyes.

I’m like the Doctor, I regenerate every time my heart breaks, but the memory never resets. The ache only grows stronger. Maybe it’s the curse of time, or simply the curse of being alive.

I want to meet my gaze- and find more than exhaustion. I want to see hope, curiosity, the longing to explore, love. I want to look at myself with warm, loving eyes… sometimes,

Old memory,

won’t you show mercy? Your bittersweet symphony pulls at me, but I’m trying to move on, can’t you see? Stop haunting me.

You whisper pretty lies, but it’s never as romantic as you disguise.

Old memory,

please fade away. I need room for all the bright possibilities ahead. You might drift back with the winds of May, but don’t expect a place to stay.

Old memory,

I can’t seem to be able to let you go

Keep wising you’ll text me to come

I’ll wait for you to pick me up

And I’ll let you drink from my cup

Do you think of me when you eat a mango?

Do you miss me when you arrive home?

Remember how we awkwardly asked ‘sup’

Why would you give it up?

When I entered the Mediterranean Sea

I felt what a believer must feel

before the Western Wall

The ocean asked me

to shed my layers,

to let it cleanse my soul,

its waves teaching my body to flow

And when I returned

to the sandy beach,

I knew,

this was a new me.