it’s not nothing

had to dust off my procreate to sketch this gorgeous face

Buddie | Spanking/Pre-Bi Realization | E

8,030 words

Buck has always known Eddie has a nice ass, and he is secure enough in his sexuality to let him know as such. It’s no big deal… Until it is.

The problem is, Buck broke the touch barrier. Before, Eddie’s ass existed in his reality as much as a mirage exists in the desert—something to observe at a distance with wonder. He could only dream about what it would be like to kneel at its shore and drink from its waters, but who wouldn’t? He’s thirsty as hell! But then, Buck actually managed to reach it and discovered it isn’t a mirage, it’s an oasis, and now he’s just supposed to move on?

The thing is, there’s no way to know where these people are coming from. In the before, when fandom was more in the corners we all knew about, you could search LJ or a message board or whatever social bookmarking site we were using. You could join the community and participate.

You could get a little dopamine hit by seeing someone tell their friends why they loved your story.

Anymore, those recs are hidden in discords, or in tiktoks or instagram slideshows that you can’t search for. They’re inaccessible, not discoverable unless you’re already there. You may never know why 27 people left kudos on an old story of yours, what they liked and found in your writing. You just get the thumbs up and a kinda lonely feeling, cause these could be your people. You could like them, maybe. You could be friends.

But you’ll never find out why they stopped by, or what people are saying about you behind your back, and that’s sad.

[read on ao3]

explicit; 16,000 words

tags: established buddie, nde, hurt eddie, eddie whump, gunshot wounds, introspection, pov eddie, fruits definitely mean something, repression, non linear, sex as communication, semi public sex, Eddie Diaz character study

happy birthday @cryptidjpg 🎂