Bleep Bloop

as long as you smile and nod, people are satisfied. it’s just to show that you are nice and there with good intentions. we’re small in a big world and have to rely on other people to be decent to us. so we do our little human dance to each other to say, “i’m not here to hurt you. here’s something we have in common, like the weather or sports or itchy sweaters, so we both know we’re on the same team. we both agree on a basic fact, like that it is rainy or that being itchy is uncomfortable, and this proves we can get along. i’m being light-hearted and non-threatening right now.”

small talk isn’t to get to know a person. it’s just a greeting to affirm you’re buddies in the universe.

A Jumanji can be dangerous and high-stakes (to the characters), but it doesn't need to have a metaphor or lesson, it can easily just be a "Would this be fucked up or what?" situation (e.g. a lotta Goosebumps stories). If there IS a lesson/metaphor, it will be on a smaller scale like psychological issues (e.g. Magnus Archives), family/relationship issues (e.g. Zathura), or about a specific topic (e.g. Magic School Bus). Large-scale social issues may be present (after all, Everything Is Political), but they take a definite backseat.

saw

the cabin in the woods

labrynth (1986)

and

There's great mind bending horror there that doesn't rely on knowing what the monster is or what it looks like, but the unexplainable mechanisms by which it operates and what that can do to the mind of someone living all alone with a fear no one else can accept.

Whumptober 2021 @whumptober2021​

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(Last chance, skip this if blood’s gonna freak you out.)

So this is and is not Spoilers for my story Captured.

Nor is it an entirely literal depiction of what happened to Harrow-

But if you could see Magic, this is literally what happened to Harrow.

Warlocks and Holy Relics do not mix.

Please do not take this art and stick it anywhere else. Reblogs Very Welcome!

"We don't make deals with devils!!"

it depends on how you plan your story. if your work is a one shot with 3,000 words in total and the main characters spend about 2,800 words being enemies before they confess their love to each other in those last 200 words, then I consider that a slow burn.

the same can be applied to a fic that is 30 chapter long with 100,000 words too. if the main characters fall in love after only 2 chapters, 6,000 words in then I won't call that a slow burn.

Holly: Just missing the tube. It's so annoying when the doors shut right in your face. I get why they do but-- it tempts me to risk the traffic.

Mulch: Have you ever been eating something soft and then your whole skull shakes with an unidentified hard object between your jaws? That, but with soil.

Juliet: When any of the parents at the twins' school try to talk to me. They know I'm not their mom, and so they try to ask "friendly" prying questions. I've started telling them I'm not allowed to talk to civilians.

Myles: Yes, that approach makes us very popular.

Beckett: For real! Juliet is the most popular not-mom in the school! A lot of boys from school want to come over to meet her.

Myles: That's my annoying inconvenience.

Foaly: The lack of centaur-friendly seating-- anywhere.

Root: HR.

Butler: Mine is when boundaries I thought I'd established are breached without warning.

Artemis: Mine is passive aggression. On a completely unrelated note, because I cannot for the life of me conceive of a smooth segue: what are you wearing?

Butler: I found it in my room. I assumed it was part of some bizarre scheme you didn't tell me about.

Artemis (laughing): Bizarre scheme, assuredly, but not mine.

Who are they

Utterly unhateable

thank you ford "go choke on glass" pines for your service. i'll let you get back to filing that interdimensional restraining order now

bonus:

Who are they