Fate has its way

The fact that Dr. Drakken canonically went to college with Kim Possible’s dad was already funny to me as a kid but now that I’m securely out of college it’s just gotten funnier and funnier to me. Like imagine having a teenage daughter who regularly beats the absolute hell out of the annoying dude from your college dorm.

Like imagine a college-aged incel who tries to build a sex robot and drops out of college because his friend made fun of him for it (note: this is Drakken’s real canonical backstory) and then like 20 years later he’s still single and consistently gets his ass handed to him by a teenage girl who’s living proof of that friend’s ability to get a date

Jokes on him he has a hot green girlfriend

as a society we have to start bullying rich ivy league kids more. they’re like “i go to harvard” and you gotta be like “what? never heard of it”

i got a lot of shit about this post a few days ago but ever since that scandal broke? crickets

WHAT lmao

me n my friend watching a slug we found on the sidewalk

russian bitches invented “a hoe never gets cold fuck a hypothermia” energy

wow i love this

One of the truest things I’ve ever heard is that people who say they’re “brutally honest” are more interested in the brutality than the honesty.

Sheet music, but every time it says crescendo it gets louder

This is really passive aggressive and I feel like my conductor ghost wrote it

I’m both pro herbal medicine and pro vaccination because you can treat burns with aloe vera juice and sore throats with lavender infused honey but you can’t rid a country of polio with plants. 

anyone else feel like god is just toying with u however he pleases . he thinks hes so funny . well im about to be hilarious

me about to commit blasphemy