being mutuals with both halves of a couple is like being adopted

if Candice has a picture phone why did she never just take a photo of what phineas and ferb were doing and text it to her mom

if she did this doofenshmirtz would just be like you see perry the platypus i sold my old computer at the pawn shop but i forgot to delete all those embarrassing photos from the christmas party, which is why i’ve invented the pixel-replacinator! and then as candace is going to text her mom the photo the phone gets hit with the beam and she looks down and she’s just texted her mom a photo of doofenshmirtz in a sexy elf costume or smth. candace can never fucking win the universe bends to facilitate her psychological torment

i never knew that i was pirating anime and manga as a kid like i genuinely just thought it was free online

Lancelot: Egad sire! Look at that. King Arthur: Hm, rare to see a VW Beetle this far north. Not impossible, mind.

imagine someone thinking of you and buying you flowers

ok now imagine a horse as a skeleton with a blue fire mane

cant believe we live in a reality where getting a silly iced drink can set you back 7 dollars. it's like they want me dead

"You can't be a lurker on tumblr." Yes, you absolutely can. I've been quietly reblogging things since 2014 and I haven't interacted with anyone in years.

babe are you okay you've barely mentioned peeling oranges for your lover today