online video gamer

they're calling me the

sometimes i go 'yeah i'm not doomed by the narrative' but then i think about how i've more or less dedicated my life to only making other people happy and that the only fulfillment i get is when others smile at me and tell me that i made their lives better in some way, and that when i'm not acting in a way that can make them happy i feel like i am an empty husk of a person that'd probably stare at a wall all day if not given supervision or distractions. it's not even for a heroic reason i just think i desperately need validation and the only source of it i've gotten has been when i've gone above and beyond to please others, whether it's family, teachers, friends, sexual partners, etc.