Snorting 💊Tylenol💊 for pure autism 🤩

weighted blanket's not enough i need to be compressed by a hydraulic press

once I snorted a fat line of nuance and everything started depending. watch out

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

so strange when people assume 'waking up early' means increased productivity bc no??? im awake so i can read fanfic in bed before breakdown breakfast

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"