somewhere close to home
pairing: baron zemo x reader
warnings: probably none, just super sad
-----
Zemo watches blankly as boiling water pours out of the kettle into the teapot below. And each time, like a curse, his thoughts are plagued with memory of you. He thinks he’s prepared, but it always catches him off guard. It always stings just a little bit more than he expects. More than he can take.
His brows furrow - just slightly - as he watches the pink petals elegantly unfurl in the scolding water. The liquid slowly tints as the sweet smell travels through the air. He can’t help but inhale deeply.
The scent feels heavy to him.
It was your favorite.
Cherry blossom tea, with a spoon of honey.
Until he met you, he drank only coffee. He remembers, it was a Sunday afternoon, you insisted in him trying it as you shoved the cup into his hands watching him expectantly. You were wearing that summer dress he got you as you smiled at him. God, how could he ever say no to you.
“It tastes horrible” he teased you then.
He’s selfish and protective of this moment. He cherishes it. It was a rare moment when he felt happy. Truly happy.
Lost in the thought his lungs scream for oxygen as he sharply inhales. His mind snapping back to reality. He glances over cautiously to check if James and Sam have noticed anything. No. They are disagreeing about something again, not even acknowledging his presence - and he’s thankful for it. This has no business with either, it doesn’t concern them.
He hesitates as his eyes sweep over the bittersweet brew. He looks at the surface of the water as if it was a crystal ball. Hoping to see your face. He can’t help but wonder - where are you now. If you know all of the things he has done. If you know what kind of a man he’s become.
What would you think of him?
He wants to look for you. But he can’t will himself to do it. He would be happy, so happy to see you again. But will he ever be brave enough look you in the eyes. Not after what he’s done. Not after he married another. He had no choice - he reminds himself - he had to go with his fathers wishes.
Or did he?
He’s so afraid of what he would do if he sees you again. What you would do. If you would even talk to him again. And it’s all too much for him.
Zemo feels bile rise to his throat as he has to push the thought away.
Life has robbed him of many things. But you.
You, he chose to give you away.
He knows he will never be able to forgive himself.
His lips press into a thin line as he stands to his full height again.
The haughtiness comes back on cue as he approaches James and Sam.
“Would you like some cherry blossom tea.”

















