Banana

EUPHORIA Rue and Jules x Film References (insp)

I get annoyed about everything all the time. I'm always either super angry or lifeless.

I annoy everyone around me, specially you. Yeah, I know you're probably reading this after I'm gone.

I'm a shitty human being right now. There's something in my head that wants to take me down, and I know it's myself. I take full responsibility for my acts.

I'm sorry I make you lose your mind and I'm no longer fun to be around.

I don't know what's exactly happening but I know there's no solution.

My plan is to leave a beautiful house for you and for someone else who can make you truly happy. My plan is to see you smile happily with someone who is not sick like me.

You deserve someone happy, healthy and full of life, who can bring you joy everyday. I wish I was that person. I wish I could still make you smile instead of cry of anger.

If we go on like this we will end up hating each other after all the fights. I will leave many pictures and phrases of us when we were happy so you can remember us with a smile and move on.

Once I take the plane I will say goodbye to everyone in a different way.

I will give my art stuff for my cousins and brother. Also Rafael will be happy with the Wacom. I will give my mom some pretty clothes and some closure and forgiveness. I will give my dad all my love, thankfullness and hope he can grow financially without having to worry about me. I will apologize for being away for so long, and for leaving soon.

Everyone will be in peace and covered in good old memories - cause all the recent ones are awful.

I will forgive myself for hating my beautiful life and my body. I will forgive myself for hurting all the time.

But I won't forgive myself for giving up, then I'll jump.

u guys im fucking exhausted