Writer, Composer, & All in Between

(To the tune of Rin Penrose's "Golden Age")

Sounds like our chicken tenders Have finally appeared Our tab's so high because our dine-in order is Right here!

Oh, we can't step forward whatsoever 'Cause our gut distention's peeking through Might take all your spoons, but just remember No one can bite into your food but you Though rolling your gurney's going harsher There's no weight loss earned within a day 'Til we see the line and reach the counter Go on, come on, munch on with all your strength

E'en with the carbs, I cope, salt between my fingers on display I'll still reach out again unto this dish 'til the day I am the sovereign of my own plate!

Sounds like our chicken tenders Have finally appeared Our tab's so high from all these fries, we give a thousand cheers Drink lies on the precipice, might stain the tile Catch it! Your menu will unfold for you, just give it a try Set free those diet restrictions As birds upon the wind And watch as they return with apple tea atop their wings Because our dine-in order is right here Grub is glorious, notorious! Join with us as we eat up, this food is all the rage!

While we forge ahead up to the line here There's no use for grease upon your phone So betwixt your struggles just recall, there's Always a time to wipe it on your clothes And your body's LDL accrual Never has the right to cross your mind Eat your wings and drown in greasy fuel, now Stand up, stand out, stand strong and show you're wide!

Even if inside, you believe there is a wobbly chair Then sit down somewhere new, or else request an exchange Go eat your wings, 'cause this chicken's free range!

Sounds like our Sprite is right there But don't fall on your face You'll spill it out and with a shout, the tile you'll desecrate With each serving of this meat, our wallet thins Surcharge! Never feel afraid to show your thanks for the meal Let's win these eating contests O'er rivals in the way Gather our victories 'til everyone has heard our names And do not stop until it's time to pay Though the tab will climb, the best of times Tried and true, now you can choose your brand new place to dine

"Pinguia fortuna iuvat" If you have a bill, it's up to you to pay your way Just one step and you've made a fart Keep on walking forth, get out the doors Don't pollute or stain your drawers 世界を食べるの日まで Keep up the fight, 貪欲であれ!

okay hear me out. I want a show where the superhero and his friends all roll up to the villain and like. they go through the whole "we're here to stop you, evil one" mini-speech and all that when they burst through the wall of the bank that's being robbed or whatever.

but then like. instead of launching into a whole dastardly monologue about her evil plans. the villain and her sidekick/main minion/partner in crime just start squealing and celebrating. like…they've finally made it. they've gotten big enough that society is finally sending superheroes to stop them now instead of just cops and whatnot. they've trained their whole lives for this. they've been best friends since childhood and this has been their literal dream, to be recognized as supervillains instead of just criminals. and like the entire next minute is literally just them hugging and high-fiving each other and doing cute little giddy dances while the heroes just stand there confused.

and then when the heroes finally snap out of it and get down to business fighting the villains, the villains just. WIPE THE FLOOR WITH THEM. like. the villains don't even have powers or a Convenient Guaranteed Superhero-Foil Plot Device™ or anything, they're just way more experienced at villainy/crime/combat because they've been striving for literal years just to get superheroes to try to stop them. meanwhile Protagonist McAgonist and the League of Forgettable Ensemble Characters just picked up the suits and capes five hours ago and barely have control over their powers but they try to stop a bank robbery anyway because ego exists. so like. the villains barely have to try to beat them up.

but the villains aren't rubbing it in the heroes' faces. instead they're still gushing and half-distracted that they're fighting actual superheroes. like the Partner in Crime will effortlessly sidestep Love Interest Woman's clumsy laser beams and slug her with a gut punch, but instead of being all like "haha you incompetent fool" she'd be like "OMG VILLAIN GIRL!!! I PUNCHED A SUPERHERO!!! I ACTUALLY PUNCHED HER!!!" and Villain Girl would be like "I KNOW RIGHT?!?! ARE WE TRIPPING BALLS OR SOMETHING, IS THIS ACTUALLY REAL?!?!?!" while fighting off both Inevitable Death Best Friendman's fire breath and Protagonist McAgonist's Stock Super Strength™ at once with just her bare fists without even breaking a sweat. and while Love Interest Woman's bent over in pain the Partner in Crime's just staring at her fist like "I am never washing this hand again."

and then when the heroes finally end up in a dazed dogpile on the floor, the villain and sidekick literally just like pog or something at each other because like. not only did they encounter their first superheroes, they BEAT them. so they just start whooping and hollering like moistcr1tikal while running around the bank like they just won the lottery. and then the sidekick pulls out her phone and takes a selfie with her and the villain with the hero pile in the background, and then they take turns posing by the heroes and they're looking at the pictures like "bro these are SO going up on the wall of our hideout."

and then the getaway helicopter pilot pulls up and like. the villain tells him over her communicator "BRO YOU'RE NEVER GONNA BELIEVE THIS THEY LEGIT SENT SUPERHEROES THIS TIME AND WE FRICKIN WON, THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF OUR LIVES" and the pilot's just like "okay cool but this is the biggest bank in town, hurry up and get the money in the cage already." and like. once the villains have the money loaded into the cage, the villain and sidekick just flat out refuse to leave before Protagonist McAgonist yells "curse you, villain!" like Doof yells at Perry. but like he doesn't even do it right the first few times so while the sidekick is attaching the money cage to the heli and all that, the villain's just correcting him like "come on, put some effort into it! >:("