Apex predator

you literally have to unironically listen to some shit like party rock anthem so you don’t kill yourself

Like two years ago I ran into a salamander biologist in the woods who complimented my ability to 'walk quietly in the forest while causing minimal disturbance to the leaf litter.' Still goes to my head.

hey dude, idk how much you remember from the party last night but- yeah, everyone saw your want. yeah no it was pretty late and winding down so it was quiet enough that every single person there saw it throbbing and twitching in your chest and so wet with hunger it was glistening under the kitchen light. they said it looked like it was reaching for something

I’m ready to be transformed by the ibuprofen . I’m ready to be born again in its purifying light.

they say "i wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy" and it's some shit i would wish on the 47th person down on my enemy list. im starting to think some of you don't have real enemies

Sometimes I randomly remember how the most important people of my life from like 6-7 years ago are not in my life at all anymore and that's sort of terrifying and also crazy to realize how you actually can survive loss beyond your comprehension and find happiness stronger and more suited for you if you keep going

okay *biggest sigh ever recorded*