KING OF THE ICE! 18+

• Make a fist with your thumb outside, not tucked inside. If it’s tucked inside your fist, when you punch someone, you might break your thumb. The thumb goes across your fingers, not on the side.

• Don’t be like in the movies—don’t aim for the face. Face punches don’t usually stop people, and you can miss when they duck their head or break your hand on their jaw. If you want to get away quickly, or end a fight, aim for the chest, or the ribs. If you really want to do some damage, e.g., you’re being attacked, aim for the throat, which will make it hard for your attacker to breathe for a hot minute.

keep your wrist straight.

if your attacker is male, go for his junk - especially if he’s wearing loose pants. There’s no sportsmanship when it comes to assault so fuck them balls UP

punching pretty much ANYWHERE in the face is going to actually hurt you a LOT (just think - you’re punching your bones into their bones and ow). If you’re going for the face, my suggestion is to strick upwards with your palm.

see that meaty portion highlighted in red? There’s a lot of muscle and fat right there which makes it excellent for striking. Hold your hand as shown and aim for the nose or chin (though I’ve been told in extreme circumstances, doing this to the nose can be fatal but I’ve never really heard if this is true or not) and just aim upwards

other delicate areas: 

the shin (hurts like a bitch if you kick it right - also, you can hit this spot if you’re being held in a choke-hold and if your attacker has to move in order to stop you from kicking him, he’ll have to angle his body so as to expose his stomach and crotch to the wild spastic jabbings of your elbows)

the solar plexus (either jab while holding your hand in a sort of spear position or use your elbows - unless you’re super strong, your punch probably won’t wind your attacker. Your elbow or a spear hand will, however)

Originally in (most) martial arts, you hit the solar plexus because it supposedly contained an important chakra. Now we know that it actually also contains like a bunch of necessary organs that are exposed just below your ribs and is also (roughly) where your diaphragm lives so getting punched there is not pleasant.

the clavicle (from experience, getting hit in your clavicle HURTS LIKE A MOTHERFUCKER. If you strike downwards with your knuckles, the person might just cry. Like I did.)

the ear (this is probably the best place to punch besides the throat. It’s all cartilage so it probably won’t hurt you all that much and most people will be like “DUDE YOU PUNCHED ME IN THE EAR WHAT THE HELL”)

the kidneys (this is harder to hit without training but if you somehow get your attacker’s back to face you, try to hit’em in the kidneys. Again, from experience, this FUCKING HURTS. You can’t really hit the kidneys from the front with any effect but from the back it is super painful)

-Draw blood if you can, especially if you can draw it from the face or the eyes. Blood in the eyes is not just a good way to impair your attacker’s vision, it’s also a really good way to freak them out and let them know that they might be getting more than they bargained for by picking a fight with you.

-Elbows and knees are really powerful weapons. Elbows are very sharp and very strong and if you are in close-range they are often more effective than trying to throw a punch. 

my last surviving great grandmother died yesterday.. she was 94

If you are considering meeting up with someone online use this trick identify who really are who they claim to be:

1. Ask them to Skype 2. If they refuse or can’t for some reason ask for a current selfie 3. If they also refuse or can’t do not meet up with them 4. If they provide one ask them to send another with them holding 3 fingers up 5. If they refuse read step 3 6. If they provide a selfie where they show 3 fingers they are probably for real

(If you’re still unconvinced try again with them drawing something in their hand)

“My [fill in trusted adult here] wants to come too. [pronoun] said we can do our own thing and [pronoun] will just sort of grab [pronoun] own table, but I wanted to let you know. Hey, if you have an adult coming too they could sit together!”

If hearing this freaks the other person out and they decline, TERMINATE ALL CONTACT. Do not pass go, do not collect $200, go directly to block. I’m 26 years old and if you tell me you’re coming with a friend or parent for your own safety, I will automatically say “hey, cool. Y’know, if you’re nervous we can just do Starbucks or something, I’m okay meeting in a busy place. That way your [adult/friend] can hang out, too, and they don’t have to pay for [admission, a movie ticket, whatever].” Your safety and comfort is important to me, and is important to any good person you meet online who wants to meet up IRL. In the early 2000s when I first started seeing online safety PSAs, this was a widely-spread tip. Use it.

And for the record, you can use this over the age of 18, too. I still won’t meet people from online except in public places. You never know–that person holding up three fingers and drawing a Pokemon on their palm could be some pervert’s child, niece, nephew, family friend’s kid who was encouraged to take some silly pictures. Always voice-verify and always meet in public, with another person if possible.