Happy Looks Beautiful On Everyone

And that's how I knew I actually felt something for her. She's not a soulmate in the...romantic sense but I can always feel her. We had sex the other night and it felt like a relapse. How can sex be bad, you ask? Hmpf...well you could be black out for one. For two, you could feel guilty. It's like...the past five years, I've been thinking about sleeping with this girl - thinking about how her skin would feel, how she'd smell on my clothes after, how good it would be... And I got none of those things. Nothing but pure disappointment in myself. I didn't even do a good job. I'm pretty sure I passed out in the middle...did I??? It wouldn't be the first time. Hmmm...

Is that I don't have any friends. Not real ones at least. I have friends that are my girlfriend and my friends. I have a friend that wants me to be their girlfriend. I gave a friend that I don't even like as a person. And I have one friend that's actually pure and cool but they're busy tonight and the only way I can hang out with them is to flake on my girlfriend, try to not be weird around my weird friend, go with my okay friend and then NO ONE IS HAPPY NOT EVEN ME.