i hate the word spicy can we bring back calling things erotic

must have been scary AF to have a tummy ache in like 468AD like uh oh is this the time I get to shit to death.... and then you just fart nasty

girl are you a medieval executioner bc you are torturing me with your rack

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

I think children should be allowed to vote their stepparent out of the home

stepdad has to keep his approval rating up. or else.

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"

get in loser we’re gonna try again despite it all

I think people would be less suicidal if they were allowed to talk about being suicidal without risk of being sent to the Torture Dungeon