Sicko Like Me

I WAS GETTING BETTER DAMN IT

I think I actually truly felt happy

And now it’s gone again just like that

Everything always goes to shit

There’s no rainbow after the rain

When will it end?

Why do I suffer?

If you thought the things I did

Would you still be okay

Would you still be sane

One minute I finally feel like I can breathe

Like I can live

And then the next minute I'm underwater

I try to scream 

But my mouth fills with water

I try to cry

But my salty tear just blend in with the salty ocean

And my pain

My life is in shambles

But nobody cares

I’m numb on the inside

But no one knows

I’m broken

I’m cracked

I’m flawed

Maybe if I was on fire

I’d be pretty enough for 

If I faded away

Would you even care?

Would you shed a tear?

Would you even miss me....

My tears slowly turn into rain

My life is in tatters

My heart is so broken

Everything you say

Is a knife, just spoken

Living life is so hard

It’s nothing but a chore

and I don’t think

I don’t understand why I’m like this.

Why I feel so broken.

Why I’m not good enough.

Why I’m drowning out of water.

Mentally exhausted

Mentally fed up

Mentally unstable

I’m broken

No matter how hard I try the pieces just won’t fit back together

I can’t seem to fix what has cracked inside me

I feel so unwhole, so.....so empty