I Got Too Much On My Mind

Can someone please take JK Rowling to the woods and put her out of her misery before the franchise becomes the next Fast and the Furious

I find the most unrealistic thing about the Matrix is Neo not at least asking what would happen if he takes both pills

One of the best life advices I can give is that if you see a toilet in your dreams, don't use it.

Watching a documentary about a serial killer who was fascinated by an ancient God called fucking PAZUZU of all names like I couldn't take a Pokémon called Pazuzu seriously much less sth that looks like a deformed emaciated moth with a permanent erection ffs

Bitch trying to work from fucking Mars but doesn't want employees working from home smh

Goodbye, Henry Hill. You'll never be forgotten 💔

When normal people are depressed: Spend all day in bed, watching a sitcom for the 20th time

Friend: Let's see if you can pass this taste test

I love how Martin Scorcese made a whole movie with A list celebrities just to say Don't stick your dick in crazy

Van Gough's friend: Hey Vincent did you hear about the dude who donated a kidney to his girlfriend?

In the spirit of the season I thought I'd share the original Firestarter

I started watching a lot of shows cause I couldn't read anymore I just abandoned books in the middle and never finished them. Now I start a show, reach episode 12, completely interested still, also never finish it. Now I start YouTube videos and never finish them. If my attention span continues to diminish I'm gonna have to tape my forehead to the back of the chair and my hands to whatever it is I'm doing.