sib's memory

and I made this within 5 minutes of returning. so I think that sums up my thoughts on it. (though im willing to rant more if ppl want it. cause I have COMPLAINTS)

like. we can defy the christian god, in a way, because we can choose to not do what he says we ought to. sure. but we cannot defy greek gods in the same way, because the god is not just an entity that commands you but the very thing you are doing. apollo does not just send plagues, he is plague. you know apollo is real because there is plague. plague is not apollo acting in the world, it is an instance of apollo, in the same way that insight is athena, love is aphrodite, harvest is demeter, storms are zeus. gods are not commanding nature and sending signs and acting upon the world, because signs and nature and human nature are themselves the gods. the gods cannot be absent, because we still get ideas, and harvest, and go to war, and feel desire, and hunt. the gods cannot be defied because you cannot defy "getting ideas" or "harvesting" or "having sex" or "dying." to attempt to is entirely futile. like you cannot defy poseidon because you cannot defy the sea. you cannot defy aphrodite because you cannot defy love and reproduction. nature and human nature and unbeatable, and so the gods are unbeatable, because they are nature and human nature.

Just like you can’t write a Jesus that is unforgiving, or a Judas that doesn’t betray Jesus in the end, you can’t write an Odysseus that’s not cunning and deceitful and full of hubris. Those are the traits that make him Odysseus. You can give him PTSD from the Trojan war, sure; you can explore the complexities of his character and any guilt he might feel about his actions, and still have him feel like Odysseus; I think the novel Circe by Madeline Miller does it fairly well, for instance. But you can’t write an Odysseus who is a good, honest, straightforward man trying to grapple with his war crimes, simply because that is not Odysseus. And in the same vein, if you want to write a take on the Odyssey but you want to forgo all exploration of the original themes and concepts in favour of your own ideas, it would be worth it to look for a different epic poem that might be a better base for your ambitions.

You don't know how much misbehaviour is allowed, so you become the perfect child who never tests rules.

You don't know if someone is irritated with you, so you'll be extra generous and self-effacing.

You don't know how much is expected of you at work so you'll kill yourself in a minimum-wage job and not notice that nobody else is working like this.