𝐿𝑢𝑙𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑦 𝑅𝑜𝑠𝑒 ♡

i panicked so hard n i haven’t cried that way - by screaming & hyperventilating - for so long until today. just like when i was little n i couldn’t breath properly. today is the last day of school, as always i felt left out, one of my supposed to be friend felt bad n i let the others comfort her because i just realize how i was used by her. i played the role of the psychologist for her & gave it all for her to ignore me when she was okay. i guess i’m only good at comforting people but i’m not some kind of pillow to cry on. maybe my hug appeared detached but how can i act otherwise? i just want to understand why all of this is happening. why people only wanted one thing from me before ignoring me when i was at elementary school? n why is it happening now that i am eighteen? i feel cursed. the only consolation is that my childhood friend will come back this summer & live here where i am. n i have my parents with me, i’ll go to my hometown alone to see my family.. nothing’s really bad. i am just confused. since i was little i preferred to be alone, but still, i would like to have someone close to me, but i also know friendships never last ( most of them ). and that’s life, i should go on.

hush, little angel, won’t you try? the devil hears you when you cry. so you can’t and you won’t. give up the ghost now, leave it alone. you know you don’t need those lessons someone else learned. it’s your life it’s your right to burn, so you count and discount all the cracks in the pavement as you move about. you say that you’ll take the push for the sake of the pull. when you’re deaf dumb and blind your eyes don’t feel the wool. and every time it’s hush, little angel, won’t you try? the devil hears you when you cry. think pleasant dreams and truer lies. oh it’s not like those talks of glass and devotion they like to sell. oh, you just want to be wanted, it’s making you sick. but it’s alright, oh yeah, it’s only a prick. and that’s how you know that it’s bad. that’s the problem with pain. it’s just something to have. oh, baby, you are running the clock cause you can’t make it stop. so just sit still and hope the hammer won’t drop. and every time it’s hush, little angel, won't you try? the devil hears you when your cry. hush, little angel, close your eyes. think pleasant dreams and bluer skies. angel, don’t you cry.

Omg renata... I thought u were still deactivated I missed u

haiii I missed u sm, im so happy i found ur account 🥹💘