Grimdark Garfield

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

Disney is doing crazy things in the japanese mobile game sphere rn

i got assigned a grey alien pen pal and all I send him are polaroids of me grabbing my nuts &flipping the bird

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

fell back asleep and had a dream that i was introduced to a businesswoman named "rolex cortado" woke with a start because i was so afraid of forgetting the name rolex cortado. she had a fuckass bob

At the sex shop asking if I can buy a regular sized dildo I can put in my unremarkable asshole but they recognize me as the hero of legend regardless

Welp, I tried. Back to trying to hilt my one 17" pink tentacle toy, I guess