Grimdark Garfield

nobody talks about how exhausting it is to live in that space between "things will get better" and "i can't handle this anymore." it's like your emotions are constantly swinging. leaving you both hopeful and defeated in the same day.

i dont know what love island is but from what ive heard its like danganronpa for people that use snapchat

"lock in" is probably one of the most important phrases to enter the public lexicon in the 2020s

Disney is doing crazy things in the japanese mobile game sphere rn

i got assigned a grey alien pen pal and all I send him are polaroids of me grabbing my nuts &flipping the bird

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes

i have a false tooth filled with a placebo in case i'm ever captured and need to be a control subject

fell back asleep and had a dream that i was introduced to a businesswoman named "rolex cortado" woke with a start because i was so afraid of forgetting the name rolex cortado. she had a fuckass bob