shua in a boa

you two don’t live right in the city, it’s a bit of a ways out. you’re familiar enough with the few coffee shops and shopping centers nearby, but you won’t be stopping in to those today. seems like this late afternoon is going to be a time for exploring. you head towards the city. on the drive up, mark rambles over the hum of the car about some class stuff, some total nonsense, as he usually does. he's the talker in this friendship. sometimes you bicker with him, most of the time you just listen, because you love everything he has to say. everything that funny little noggin comes up with. 

“... like, they’re so cute, oh my god dude do you think we should get one? does our apartment allow—wait, turn here,” he cuts himself off suddenly. you lift the blinker to turn. “why, is something down here?” you ask. “no, i just... i have a good feeling about this right turn.” you snort. “yeah, ok.”

a few minutes later, he decides to turn right again. then left. “mark, you better remember all these turns.”

“don’t worry, i’ve got it. i’m a natural at directions.” (no he wasn’t, but it’s fine, you’ll GPS the way back.) 

eventually, it seems you have made it to the edge of the city, but a side neither of you have seen before. by some miracle, you manage to find free parking. (albeit in a sketchy location, but something tells you towing management has long forgotten this area) the sun sits lower than it did when you left home, colors deepening into an warm pink and orange. sunset doesn’t seem far off. mark takes note of that. “let’s find a roof and watch the sky.”

“couldn’t we have done that at home?”

“i don’t know, something about being lost when the sun is going down in the city hits different.”

“oh, so you are planning to get us lost?”

mark gives you that cheeky grin of his. “i never plan for it, but even if it happens i’m not worried. we’ll find our way.” you believe him. he’d never actually put you two in crazy danger.

you two head off, commenting on the displays of the small shops that are closing. the outskirts of the city have a personality you can’t put a name to. quirky? unseen? the center of the city has urban outfitters or whatever, but here where the sidewalk is cracked and the brick is several decades old, the shops look timeless. there would always be a time and place for antique toys and custom stationery.

“yo, let’s come back here during the day. i need to see you wear that hat.” he points to some white, lacy monstrosity.

“i’d look so stupid.”

“that’s the point.” you shove him lightly. “i’m joking. i think you’d look cute.” he says things like that sometimes. you can’t ever tell if it’s just because you two are best friends and have that level of honesty with each other, or something else. you have never allowed yourself contemplate the latter possibility. 

you pass a few more blocks before finding a parking garage. you regret not parking here, but it’s okay. the walk was nice. it’s not the tallest structure in the city, but it’s tall enough to have a nice view. you two take the elevator to the top.

“damn, it’s windy up here,” mark says once you step out. the setting sun seems brighter, more intense here. you glance over at him. it was indeed windy, the breeze tousling his bangs and exposing his forehead. he squints as he scans the area for a good place to sit. it should make him look silly, but you should realize by now you’re whipped for him, because all you notice is how prettily the sun highlights his cheeks.

“over there!” you’re jolted from your thoughts as he turns to face you. his eyes glow, a warm brown that shapes into crescents as he smiles. he grabs onto your sleeve and pulls you to sit on the ledge. it’s wide enough to stretch your legs out, but you’re thankful for the short railing. during construction had they considered activities like looking off at the sun from this ledge?

the two of you settle yourselves, sitting thigh to thigh and leaning forward onto the railing. it’s getting a little chilly, but his leg is warm. tints of blue have joined the pinks and oranges in the sky, sun continuing its descent onto the skyline.

you sit in comfortable silence, because even though it is mark, he’s not talking all the time. he knows how to appreciate the mood. still facing the sky, you glance over to mark at your side, and you admire how admiration looks on his own face as he looks out. he’s so in the moment. when he's focused, he develops a stillness that you’d never find from him any other time. when he’s focusing on work or studies, he has a furrow in his brow and his jaw is set, but in this stress-free sort of focus his features lack tension. his eyes are glazed over as his mind stirs with thoughts. he looks like he’s forgetting to breathe. (he probably is.) you poke him in the ribs. he turns to you slowly, raising a brow. 

“you must be thinking up a storm, you haven’t said anything for like ten minutes,” you say, leaning back onto your crossed arms and peering at him over the folds of your pullover. he smiles gently and mimics you, faces not far apart, eyes open wide enough to see into each other’s souls, if you so desire.

“hmm... i dunno, like...” he glances up in contemplation, minimizing his need to say “like” five times. but he can’t help letting out another one. “like... i’ve just been thinking about the future, i guess.” it’s your turn to raise a brow, prompting elaboration. 

“you know, like, after we graduate, what's life going to be like? i probably won’t be able to talk to all of the other guys like i do now.” pre-quarantine, he had a pretty hefty friend group he would hang out with, some he was closer to than others but he still really loved them all. some of them would still come over nowadays, but he has a point that things would be different in the real world. “i know we care about each other, but i noticed when you get older you kinda have to focus more and more on yourself. so then... we’re not gonna be able to talk to each other as much. and maybe i’ll never see some of them again.” his mouth settles into something shy of a frown.

“whoa there, don’t be dramatic. whenever you get married—if you do—” he pouts at you and you grin. “—you can invite all of them to your wedding, you can look forward to that at least.”

“haha, yeah i guess. well, i mean, i know i’ll get over it once the time actually comes. life moves faster than we do, you know? so it’s ok, i’m just overthinking.”

“damn, you sound so profound today.”

“thank you, i know it’s rare.” even though he doesn’t share his serious thoughts too often, you know underneath the rambles and high energy, he’s so intentional about everything in his life. you’re grateful to be part of it.

you move one of your arms out from under your head to fumble with the cuff of your sleeve, staring at your fingers as you ask, “what about us?”

“what do you mean?”

more fumbling. “i mean... do you think we’ll inevitably grow apart too?” a moment passes with only the fabric of your sleeve making noise. you look up to him to gauge his thoughts, only to find him staring at you. there it is, the set of the jaw. you blink, unable to hold his gaze. 

“what’d i say about not asking stupid questions?” you thought your question this time was valid. his eyes soften. “well, i mean. i can’t imagine life without you. you’re always there. you’re always here. i never even had to consider it... the idea of us growing apart. so... if we suddenly don’t talk anymore, it’s your fault, because i have no plans on doing that.” he’s so confident in the two of you. it was just you afraid that he didn’t feel the same way. how could you have doubted him? 

the sky’s more blue and black than orange now, but the sun is still there, a sliver that permeates the horizon. the light has receded from mark’s face, the remaining shadows contouring his small, prominent features. another breeze cuts through the air that has shifted from chilly to cold, and you put your hands together, sitting up.

mark covers your hands with his, straightening up to scoot even closer to you, which you didn’t realized was possible. he rubs his palms over your knuckles then brings your hands up and breathes warm air onto them. he touches you delicately, like something precious. he knows you’re not fragile, but he only wants to show you tenderness at the moment. his thumb swipes back and forth over your fingers as he seems to be lost in thought again. 

making up his mind, in the last light of the day, he lifts your hand to his lips and presses a kiss to it. warmth spreads from the point of contact all the way to your toes. you hope your face isn’t as red as it feels hot. mark lifts his head to meet your eyes. even though the sun’s down, his eyes glow. you could lose yourself in them. you can’t help smiling widely at him, joy overpowering your shock and the palpitating of your heart.

mark looks out over the railing. he holds your hands to his chest, to keep them warm, or maybe just to have you close to him. “well, i guess the show’s over. should we go home?”

“yeah, okay.” the two of you hop off the ledge, mark still firmly holding your hand and your other tucked away in your pocket. once you make it to the bottom of the parking garage, there are only a few streetlights on and ahead the sidewalk is mostly lit by the moonlight. standing under one of the streetlights, you look at your intertwined hands and steal another glance at mark. you think that he glows in sunlight, moonlight, streetlight, anywhere. he’s simply always alight. 

“how are we supposed to get back to the car now, mark? do you even remember the way back?”

“wait, no–lucky! come back!” someone yelps as they rush around in front of you, chasing what seems to be a ball of fur that moves at the speed of light

or a puppy. same thing, really. 

that someone takes a giant leap of faith, only to just barely miss the pup and end up face first on the floor, which you can’t imagine being the most sanitary of surfaces

you look away in search of the flurry of fur. you can’t see it, but you can definitely hear it. unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like it has a collar, so you prepare yourself to scoop it up completely rather than grabbing its collar. as expected, it runs into your direction and you launch at it...

success!

lucky squirms in your grasp, barking and sniffing at your shirt. they must decide that you’re an agreeable human, because they start trying to lick your face

“wow, you caught him!” you look up at seemingly the body from earlier

and like,, not to exaggerate but is this what looking at an angel is like?

the boy you’re looking at looks back with such bright eyes and with a gaze full of affection, although after a second you realize the affection is probably for the dog. he has the best smile you’ve seen in a good while, because people you pass by in the city don’t smile that much. he just radiates Warm and Good and is probably great for business, because he’s just as cute as the puppy who is still going at your chin

“i… yeah, guess i did. uh, you kind of have straw all over you” is what you settle on saying to him, because out of all the things you noticed about him, your brain decides that the straw and dirt still sticking to his cheek and various parts of his shirt were the most acceptable features to point out. while they weren’t the more flattering options, they probably saved you from the complete AWKWARDNESS that would have come from mentioning his eyes or beaming smile or really anything else bc the straw and dirt were the only flaws.

“oh!” he exclaims, straightening up and brushing off his shirt

“… here too,” you say, grasping lucky in one arm as you move your other hand to your cheek

of course, he wipes at the wrong side.

“the other side”

“right. ok. am i good? sorry, that’s not a great first impression.” 

he still has a smear, but you decide it’s probably not going to budge and he’ll figure it out later. and he has no clue what a great first impression it was. clearly. “no, it’s fine.” 

he continues to smile at you and you’re still crouched, clutching lucky. lucky then decides to yelp because he’s tired of the severe lack of attention, which snaps you back to the situation. 

“oh, right.” you stand and give lucky back. 

“here he is!”

once lucky is back in the boy’s arms, he immediately starts to lick at his jaw. the boy sighs and pulls a treat out of the pocket of his apron, waving it around lucky’s face. “what are we going to do with you?” 

he turns back to you. “sorry about that, lucky is a very excited young pupper, as you just saw. the most problematic of all his siblings. anyway, i’m joshua! welcome to nabiya petting zoo. is it your first time here?”

you nod. “er. it’s actually my first time in this area, or in this part of the country, really. i’m from a pretty big city.”

“oh! well, a bigger welcome, then. i hope you enjoy your stay.” 

he rubs lucky between his ears. “isn’t it nice to get away from the busy urban life sometimes? i’ve always thought it’s really relaxing around here.”

“yeah, it seems… nice so far,” you say loosely, reflecting on how you haven’t really seen enough to come to that conclusion

he still has that warm smile. “i’m going to put lucky in his pen. hm… you’re the only one who’s come in so far today, so i could show you around if you want?”

“yeah, sure! i haven’t seen a lot of these before,” you reply, going down the list of animals at the side on the wall.

“ok, i’ll be right back!”

when he comes back y’all walk around n look at things and he asks you if you want to hold or feed some animals and you take everything pretty well, more than even you expect

you look at the normal domestic sort of animals like a litter of kittens, and the pen with lucky and his other pupper brothers and sisters

typical farm animals like pigs and sheep

sheep are not as fluffy as you imagine, they’re actually kind of gross looking if they haven’t had a bath recently

nonetheless you find them kind of cute, and you even pet one of the rams, aptly named… sam the ram

something tells you joshua was responsible for the name

you guys go out to the field and observe some turkeys strutting around

“huh so that’s the thing you see in clipart, the thing hanging off their faces”

“yeah it’s called a snood”

“LOL huH”

“only the dudes have snoods”

“um”

“during mating season, female turkeys pick male turkeys with longer snoods. you could say they’re in the snood for love.”

“please stop”

y’all spend a lot of time with the rabbits bc “bunnies are my favorite animal” says josh as he crouches next to a brown fluffball of a bunny, petting it

it’s just such a Good n Wholesome scene you can’t help but let slip “wow ur so cute”

he looks up, but his expression says he is otherwise unbothered

“sorry, what’d you say?”

“i SA ID the buNNY is sO cuTE” panics

“oh” joshua says. “alright” he turns back to the bunny, a tiny smile on his face

before you know it, 4 hours have passed and your stomach is letting you know dinnertime is approaching, so you bid josh farewell and wonder if you’ll ever see him again because that was a hecking nice 4 hours

you find yourself coming back again two days later lmao

today, joshua is putting out slop for the pigs. he grins at you. 

“hey again. what brings you back so soon?”

you find some excuse like “ykno i just bonded with sam the ram so well i had to come back, we’re bros now” and josh just laughs softly at you

“ok. you wanna look at some horses today?”

“whoa. o-okay.”

when he brings them out ngl you’re kinda intimidated bc like,, they’re some toL bois.

one time you saw a pony at the state fair but that was smol n cute and walked at a pace of 3 miles an hour

but these horses?? threatening. now you understand where the horse in horsepower comes from

“hey, don’t look so scared. they’re harmless!” the black stallion chooses that moment to snort and buck a little. 

you gulp.

“no, really.” he pets the stallion. “snuffles has never hurt anyone.”

you blink

“,,, snuffles ??”

joshua gives you a hard stare. “7 year old me thought that was an appropriate name and today years old me still thinks it’s fine”

you raise your hands to say “ok man ur turf ur way”

joshua clears his throat dramatically and turns back to ,, snuffles. “so aNyway, i brought snuffles out because i think he’s the best for a beginner to ride, and i’m assuming you’ve never ridden a horse before.”

“yeah i haven’t… wait did you say we’re gonna riDE them??”

“yeah, we don’t usually let people do that but i feel like you need the whole farm experience so you can go home and tell your friends the country isn’t just yeehaw and old town”

“but like… isn’t this just proving the point of old town? you literally have the horses in the back.”

“however, my hat is not matte black. i don’t even have a cowboy hat. or Wrangler. or anything else the song mentions. just the horses.”

“ok joshua if it makes u happy i will take snuffles to the old town road”

he gives u a big :D

he instructs you on how to mount the horse and stands behind you in case you start falling but thankfully you don’t so we don’t have to go over any kind of cliche

~ gripping of the waist for balance ~

or

~ catching you in his arms ~

scenes

: ))

“hey, good job! give snuffles some pats or something.” you reach a hand out to stroke the side of snuffles’s face. he whinnies a bit. Well frick, you think, that was kind of cute.

joshua decides he’ll walk some laps around with you before letting you actually ride snuffles by yourself. after you seem to be comfortable, you guys walk/trot around some and that’s how the rest of that afternoon goes :)

picture this with me

the sun is low in the sky

and y’all and your horses are just looking out over the hill

skin lookin immaculate bc it’s the golden hour

a massive grin you don’t even realize you have on your face.

and then you gotta go home, as your stomach reminds you again.

over your stay at your relatives’ place, you visit the petting zoo more times

you and josh become pretty comfortable with each other

he always has a lot of time to spend with you bc people don’t come that much this early in the summer, and in general they don’t get a huge amount of traffic but that’s okay financially bc the petting zoo is just a side thing, it’s mainly his family’s farm

and so you learn more things about him and his family from your times together, you guys sometimes sit around with some lemonade and hold some bunnies. lucky has also taken a liking to you, so you hold him a lot.

joshua tells you about his parents having always wanted to live peaceful and healthy lives, eating their own produce, moved to the area before he was born and it just expanded into the farm.

so although no one lives on the farm, they live pretty close by and he spent most of his childhood around all the animals.

you wonder if he was born with the soft, patient, and gentle nature needed to care for all the animals or if the animals shaped him to be that way.

but on top of that, he really loves spending time with them. even though he’s there basically every day, he never seems tired of his job.

“but what about you though? i’ve never really been that far from here, so i wonder what a big city is like.”

you trade your chaotic urban stories for his peaceful rural ones, and he trades his farm accident horrors for your memories of solidarity in the city.

you tell him about all the great food, countless different flavors of restaurants and a bubble tea chain every few blocks

you tell him about the convenience, the variety of transportation and the proximity of things, like basic groceries

the crowded sidewalks, the crowded metro, the crowded shops

the neon signs that light up the night, the period of quiet and calm somewhere around 3 in the morning, when you can open the window and hear the city nightlife in its most muted yet most raw state.

not only has time in the countryside made you appreciate it more, but also your home life more.

while you’re still wrapped in your memories, joshua smiles softly at you from the side. lemonade long forgotten, ice long melted. “that sounds really nice. your stories make me want to visit you in your hometown some time.”

huh. he could’ve just said visit the city, but he said visit you in your hometown. joshua has such a way with making the conversation personal.

you process what he said again and think about what it’d be like if he came. you could take him to all those places you raved about… it’d be like…

,,, a bunch of dates really. your brain frazzles a bit at the thought.

“… yeah! … that’d be pretty cool.”

and that’s how your afternoons pass these days. lemonade at the side, bunnies in hand, breeze passing through hair.

eventually josh asks you if you want to hang out like… nOT at the petting zoo

and you’re like whoa ok what’s your idea

and he’s like “can you meet me at watchtower hill tomorrow at 8pm?” 

he thinks about what he just said and quickly follows with “i know that’s kind of a really late time, but i promise i have no nefarious intent! oh, shoot that makes it seem like i do. i really don’t i promise! i just wanted to show you what the sunset and night sky are like in the countryside. oh, i just spoiled it…” he flashes you an awkward smile and some finger guns. “yep, that’s what we’re doing! no nefarious activities.”

you grin at him. “calm down dude, i didn’t think like that in the first place. i’m usually out even later at home anyway.”

he rubs the back of his head and laughs it off with you.

you do meet the next day at 8pm. he brings some midnight snacks that his mom made. except they’re not really midnight snacks, because you’re not trying to stay out there until midnight (spoiler: you do, because y’all yak a lot)

you guys sit on your jackets, watching the sunset. it’s the kind of temperature that’s says it was mad hot during the day, but now that the sun is going down, it’s cooled into a pleasant room temperature with an occasional warm breeze. 

for once you all don’t say much, because it’s nice to just share the moment. 

you reflect on how you’ve come to experience the area recently. most of it was the petting zoo, but sometimes you’d take up some of joshua’s suggestions about the area and report back to him how the experience was later on. 

looking out at the sun that bleeds out into the blueish black night, you think that it’s been a pretty good time here, and maybe it does have an edge on city life.

as the last of warm colors finally seep out of the sky, the moon takes over the night and the stars become more apparent than you’ve ever seen before.

seriously, it’s a scene out of a movie. you know, the wide screen shot of the protagonists staring at the sky, mystified. the panorama over the constellations that twinkle down at you, a little gift from the galaxy.

“i’ve never seen the sky like this. all the twinkling lights in the city come from the streets, and the buildings. which are pretty in their own way, i think. but Mother Nature… is really something else,” you say.

“yeah,” he says, looking at you as you’re still in awe at the sky. “something else.”

a few more moments pass, but it’s a timeless night as the sky is frozen in space.

joshua lays back on his jacket.

“hey,, maybe this is sort of crazy but.”

you turn to him, raising a brow.

“it’s been really, uh.. it’s been. really awesome getting to know you. i’ve just kind of… seen the same sorts of things all my life. the same sorts of people. i mean! of course, everyone is unique in their own way but! you know.” he takes a glance at you. “rural folks, urban folks. there’s a difference. so I’ve really enjoyed talking with you. uh, i mean i enjoy talking to you regardless of if you’re from the city or not!”

he puts a palm to his face and sighs. from behind his hand, he says, “i just like you.”

“i like you too, joshua! you’re a really great guy.”

“no, not like that. i mean. i like you.” he finally removes his hand.

you blink a little. and finally burst into a grin. “yeah. i like you too. you’re a really great guy.”

it’s his turn to blink

you lie back as well. he slowly starts to smile next to you

the stars above shine on.

yeah. this is a life you could get used to, too.