City Map Inspectors

well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?

Curse of Strahd but its a spell that forces you to hang out with the guy.

No more sending stones. You want to long distance? You have to use your friendship necklaces

My favorite form of redemption arc is “I hate that I have morals now”

Like “I realized that I was in the wrong and now I will work hard to atone” is good and all, but “how dare you infect me with morals” will always be so much more entertaining

This one gets it

And like when they say “I’m only helping you because of [selfish reason that’s not truly the reason]”

“I assure you, my motives are completely selfish” they yell at the group as they fling themself between a giant fuck off monster and an unconscious guy they don’t even like

“Only I get to kill you! That’s it! That’s the only reason! I’m healing you and tending to your wounds because I HATE YOU!”