Khan's Titties

cmon show a little cleavage bro its tasteful

I love the phrase “he would not fucking say that”. Truly encapsulates the number of times I have read a fic where a character would not fucking say that

that image of donald trump with the like, 4 dozen hamburgers is still the funniest thing in the world

the thing about cracking open a long-established popular ship tag on ao3 is that it allows you to be extraordinarily picky, and i think it must be the closest thing i will ever experience to being filthy rich. i scroll along at super speed like no today i am only interested in fics with this precise range of words and one of these three tags. only authors i’ve heard of, please. hmm, i suppose i could consider an unknown quantity given its apparent popularity with the people, but… no, no, this summary doesn’t do it for me. no particular reason, it’s just… eh, i don’t need to explain myself. bring me 50 more like this for me to choose from and we’ll see.

I’ve been wallowing in huge flagship fandoms for years, blithely plundering one treasure trove after another, and now I’m all “oh woe, Papa hath lost his Fortune and we must move to a small cottage in the country and knit our own vampire aus 😭”

Every computer needs a cleaning keyboard mode where the keys are inactive while you wipe them down

Turn off the computer

unplug the keyboard

Wallow in filth

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what’s the name for that species of joke where you mix and match true facts to make something twice as wrong as knowing nothing. if you bite it and you die it’s a stalagmite if it bites you and you die it’s a stalactite

It's actually not the stalactite that bites you you're thinking of stalactite's monster.

it’s only a stalactite if it’s from the Stalac region of