takeitslow

“YOU KNEEL BEFORE MY THRONE UNAWARE THAT IT WAS BORN OF LIES” IS ONE OF THE GREATEST SENTENCES I’VE EVER READ AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT’S ON A POST ABOUT BULLSHITTING ON ASSIGNMENTS.

lets go out and have some classic teenage fun... chew some glass..... eat dirt... who knows. maybe even kiss a lizard?

At long last, The Chosen One has been discovered. Working as a cashier. With no interest in doing anything even slightly more difficult.

yeah because there is nothing more difficult than retail

tbh anyone who works/has worked retail would see the chance to go around saving the world in ways that could potentially kill them as a welcome vacation

[WHACK]

sorry to mildly derail tim but like as a kid all the way through my teenage years i watched tons of animal planet and became stuck on the very idea of komodo dragons to the point where if i was watching any kind of nature documentary, any at all, i could not absorb information because i would simply be thinking “if a komodo dragon wanted to kill me theres nothing i could do about it. feasibly, for some freak reason, a komodo dragon could walk into my house, my abode, my terrain, and kill me, and me, a human with opposable thumbs and the ability to use tools and fire, i could do nothing about it. i could do nothing about it”

ah yes they call me “No Queue” Jones because I post everything I reblog at once with no breaks in between and then vanish into the night for extended periods of inactivity

every patronus hermione granger has ever produced was done with the memory of how it felt to deck malfoy right in his smug bastard face

#every patronus ron weasley has ever produced was also done with the memory of hermione decking malfoy in the face (via raisindeatre)

does anyone ever do the opposite of dissociate?? where youre just suddenly and uncomfortably aware of your situation and reality 

more to the point why do i get that feeling when im sitting on top of my kitchen table watching a velveeta mac and cheese pack spin in the microwave for three and a half minutes and im just like I Exist I Am Here And Theres Nothing I Can Do About It 

Another post sent to us by god himself

My day has not been great, and this actually really helped

my favorite trope is the thing star trek does where when a character lists something and they’ll list real things/people but add 1 thats fictional, like “great writers such as shakespeare, robert frost, edgar allan poe and zaxar the giant rat man“