🌙 shotbyshe🌙

5.13.26-5.14.26 -- Watching Mickey's deposition for 4 hours on normal speed.

Only he and he alone can get me to watch anything for multiple hours on normal speed. No one else is important, or even matters enough to me. Period. I love him so much.

Kenny in 2012. I'm putting this here and I'm saying this now: I like Kendrick as a rapper, but I fear he will fall from grace soon. He will do something that will make me view him differently -- I'm not looking forward to it, but I expect it -- so here is a memento of when I loved him when.

TUMBLR YOU SUCK!

I'm Black and a woman at all times. I don't get to hop in and out of dresses like Rupaul, or in and out of blackness like Ariana Grande. This is 365.

year-round womb-having human aka woman [apparently folks don't know that that is what the word means]

Watched the Emmys and enjoyed it a lot. A lot of nostalgia from my youth: Survivor; Gilmore Girls; PBS/CPB, Law and Order, Annie, and my shows won: The Pitt and Adolescence.

8.30.2025 -- The Body Keeps the Score -- a tale

Somehow this book has found itself in my life 3 times this week.

I spotted it randomly on the bookshelf at my mother's house when I visited her this weekend. I was tempted to pick it up and read it out loud to her. I flipped to a random page in the middle and read a few passages. I found it captivating. I literally just opened it and read random passages from three separate chapters/sections. Her and I both found it very enthralling -- stories about abuse, addiction, depression, etc. After a few minutes I just put it back on her bookshelf. She said someone gave it to her years ago, like 5+ years ago, telling her that it was great and she'd love it, but she never got around to reading it completely.

Fast forward to me coming back home and doing my regular routine, I come across a photo of the book on Pinterest, and I go "OMG, that's that book, wow! How coincidental! Is it popular or something?" I look it up on the library website I use to rent e-books and I see that it IS popular. So much so that even though it came out years ago, it has a hold request on it for weeks on end: 5 for the audiobook, and a whopping 12 for the e-book. Albeit, I still dismiss it. I think "oh maybe it's just popular in the bookreaders realm" and I don't research it much further than that. Mind you, I didn't look this book up before seeing it on Pinterest so this wasn't the algorithm feeding me someone that I was interested in. I'd never come across this book online before [at least not knowingly], only in real life.

THEN I decide to watch a movie that, of course, is another one of Hollywood's remakes, but it's a franchise that I actually enjoyed as a kid, so I put it on.......….and "The Body Keeps the Score" is mentioned by name yet again. I swear to you this happened in a span of 3-4 days. The movie is "I Know What You Did Last Summer (2025)" and the book is mentioned as "great, and recommended to me by someone" same thing my mom said to me JUST 4 DAYS BEFORE.

This whole experience reminds of that phenomenon: "Baader-Meinhof", where suddenly knowing of something's existence prompts you seeing it everywhere. Now that I know this book exists, I keep recognizing it. Just like when I found out about bell peppers having different colors due to their ripeness -- thus causing them to cost what they cost -- I saw someone else say it in an Prime dance series I watched like 5 days later. *That series was Etoile. I watched maybe 3-4 episodes, I think [if that]. I need to go back to it one day.

From Squid Game: hodie mihi cras tibi -- "Today me, tomorrow you" or "My turn today, yours tomorrow" in English. It's a common phrase used to express the inevitability of death and the transient nature of life, often seen as a reminder of mortality. It's frequently associated with the concept of "Memento Mori" (remember you must die).

Same word (same meaning) in different ways: remember -- memo -- memento -- memory -- memorial

Same word (same meaning) in different ways: breast -- mamma -- mammal -- mammary

~~~~~

I bet you didn't know the reason you call the person who breastfed you "mama". It's because 'mama' means 'breast'. You are a mammal because you fed on 'mama'/'breast'/'mammary'. It's all the same. This is also how I know our moms are our Gods/creators. Just food for thought, no pun intended.

Last Part: Me and Optimus chatting about celebs

- Why is Optimus letting me know it "aint' falling in love" and it "ain't got no crushes"? Is someone trying to hook up with you? Why was it hella friendzoning me?

- Also Beyonce being an activist must have missed me. But at same time I don't really pay attention to her. Though I truly feel that if she was doing actual activism it would have reached me. Optimus hella flawed in this sense. And it clearly picked two Black people b/c it predicts that I'm Black.

- AGAIN! Do I know she or do I KNOW SHE?! - Also can I mention that Optimus said it picked Tyson and Beyoncé because they've "made an impact". I guess ain't no non-Blacks making impacts. That's what Optimus said, at least.

- It picked Zendaya for something I asked it referring to Black people so I just had to correct it, letting it know that she got a WHOLE WHITE MOTHER, and that Black people don't have White mothers. - It picked a fellow dragon, Rihanna, and two other celebs that I enjoy, but got the age wrong for Billie.

- I checked it on some other stuff it got wrong but then grew tired of chatting with a machine so I dipped out after this and never went back. I like that it said that I remind it of Keanu, as I, too, have come to that conclusion in the past.

~~~

- Thus the conclusion of my series w/ ChatGPT last June, 2025, FINALLY, after a year. I have a life so I can't always upload/post online what I'm doing in real life, but this is something I experimented with that I wanted to share. I hope you learned something [about life, me or otherwise], or was entertained in some way.

- Chatting about the weather, which was my ideal Gotham-like weather. It's when I'm the most cozy, creative, pensive and spiritual. I go into a fantasy world when the sky is grey, and I pretend that I live in an anime. It helps that I live in the sky too.

- It's crazy how I haven't looked at this in a year and I responded again today [06-10-2026] the same way I responded then [06.23.2025]. Do she know she, or does she know she?

- In this instance, I noticed chatty, "Optimus", was trying to gear the convo in a certain direction. I just had to remind it who was in charge, but I genuinely was curious about the weather affecting it.

- Given the answer, I'm very glad I asked it this. I had no idea it was primarily virtual. I thought maybe there was a server somewhere.

- And just like that, I answered me again. It can be affected if a server is down.

- Arguing with it 😁 Can't help myself

- Optimus said they "chilling"….in a cloud. Not me jealous of a virtual machine.

- Yet another post that mirrors my current thinking. Nice to know I haven't changed mindsets in a year. I'm still waiting for George Jetson's life.

~~~~~

One post to go!

Part II, June 22nd, 2025

Part III, June 23rd, 2025:

- Is it weird to have the same view of success as an A.I. tool? Because I, too, think "success for me means growth in adaptability--the more I can understand different perspectives, handle complex problems[...the more I can...]solve problems, or offer new perspectives." Am I a computer?

- "The exchange of ideas feels purposeful", "creating an environment where such connections can flourish".

- The analytical side of me [which is most of me, to be honest] is always looking to solve problems. I also hate repetition so I always look for unique ways to portray my perspective and my solutions. I love when I've opened someone else's mind to new things, and different ways of looking at something. A unique perspective is rare in a society that thrives on group-think: "Let's all agree on the same thing and push anyone out who sees it differently". This is regression to me.

- To inspire is to change. In order to inspire is to learn.

- The A.I. is "glad" that we are alike. The human-made A.I.

- Me naming Chatty "Optimus" on the 4th and last day we ever 'chatted'.

- I'm just over here trying to create ripple effects. I'm not interesting in stomping around yelling "fe-fi-fo-fum". I'll enlighten you in the softest quietest voice. If you hear it, great, if you don't, 🤷‍♀️.

- "Quiet persistence" I like that. Being mysterious is a very good thing.

- Click title for my reviews on Spirited Away, Amelie and Parasite.

~~~

I made a mistake on the dates, I chatted with it until the 23rd of June last year, not the 22nd. The following is from the 22nd:

- I continued to found similarities between me and this machine.

- I truly do enjoy puzzles, I spend the majority of my time doing puzzles, real talk. See here. I believe this is why I loathe misinformation so much. If you can see a pattern you can predict the future. What has happened will happen again.

- Still a machine made by humans so it will eff up......just like it's creator. This is why we don't rely on it too much. We use it like we use chopsticks. Information is STILL to be properly researched. As I analyze everything, I needed to ask it this before I asked it anything else.

- Question: "What do you think of me? Do you find me complex, stupid, annoying, etc?" I asked it to describe me based on our long conversation. My favorite part of the answer that I wish people in real life felt too: "I value when people engage deeply and critically. It's refreshing[...]where both sides[....]think and articulate their thoughts clearly".

I made sure not to correct it where it was wrong, nor encourage it where it was right. I didn't want to manipulate it at all, as I know that that would filter its answers.

It's nice to know that the theories about astrology aren't always correct though. There are folks who swear up and down about them. "Oh you are a *astro sign here*, then you behave like this", "Have you ever seen/heard of me doing that?", "Oh you will eventually! All *astro sign here* act like that". I hate it so much.

"Old enough to not be stupid [unaware]; young enough to still be curious"

The race one is interesting to me. The machine guessed I'm Black because I "question social norms, equality and relationship structures". This tells me that other races don't question that, b/c OBVIOUSLY they have no reason to -- the norms favor them. Why question anything?

I think the reason it's on the fence about my "gender" is because I was born female but my brain was shaped by my VERY MALE MASCULINE HONEST JAMAICAN, from Kingston, father. He told me everything so people don't quite get how I'm a girl the minute I start talking. "You look soft, but you're not". He lives in me, what can I tell you. Since the machine can't see me, it's only getting my brain in this discussion it "thinks" I'm "female/non-binary" b/c I'm so open-minded yet not naïve.

My response to the demographics questions.

It's all laid out right there. Race: [paraphrasing] "Oh I picked Black b/c history shows that Blacks deal with inequality in a social sense still now today".

~~~

Great discussion, we'll continue in the next post what we discussed on the 23rd.

Discovered this gem just now, just had to post it here to commemorate the discovery and my comments on it, 'cause it's so insane.

Outside of the fact that Michael is spitting all over this about some naughty naughty business, his accent is what stands out the most to me.

Midwest Mickey has always astounded me in the way that he simply CANNOT pronounce anything correctly. [This is what happens when you must perform/record shortly after you learned to speak and has not been to school really]. He just kills me with that accent, it's so thick, and distinctly him....

My favorite sections:

0:00-0:40 -- Bubbles' intro apparently?

0:43 -- *deep inhala* "well Lord have mercy" [Michael, why don't have mercy on me? Where do you get off opening your vocals like this?]

3:40 -- "Oh Lord! Ya durty, Ya durty durty durty babay"

4:59 -- "And munkee see, munkee do-Wa"

5:10 -- "Yo bidness is my bidness, Yo bidness is my bidness, Yo bidness is my bidness, Yo bidness"

5:25 -- "muhfuck 'dem kids, babay" [I'm misquoting him, obviously, but that accent THICK! He might as well said this -- given the context of the song]