has anyone seen my pet bacteriophage its name is styrofoam and its about [hand touching the floor] this tall

fuck like a green onion

Actually we say oppa unhoused style now

Ants are always like oh shiit you have a thing? You left your Thing there i've always wanted that. And can all my friends come also

skreenkle

I mean in a way Godzilla is queer, because it queers the societal expectation of there not being a giant radioactive lizard destroying Tokyo.

when jimmy fallon dies theyre incorporating his ashes into a ben and jerrys limited time flavor

dude honestly shout out to my guards i told them to seize this guy and before i could even finish my sentence they soze him. My goats

hey its me your doctor. idgaf

so fucking sick of my ogre butler dude i dont want to eat human liver sauteed in centipede venom for dinner man where did you even get this

tooth fairy just beat me up

do not have discord sex i was stroking my shit and discord face id'ed my cock as the 5300 year old mummy otzi i can't log in anymore

eating an apple outside really is the closest you can get to smoking without smoking. some would think thats vaping but vaping is closer to eating a comically large lollipop in public