Shitty Vodka.

It's probably Popov.

I wonder if anyone told Bay Street Spirits or whatever holding corporation put out this 1.75L of pain that “masterfully” doesn’t mean what they think it means. Oh wait, they just stole the description from American Pride vodka and slapped it on this one, too.

American Pride Vodka still exists?  We’ve seen this one before. Masterfully distilled with only the finest American rail-quality ingredients. Take 6 Advil before drinking this paint thinner, trust us.

Another entry for Hawkeye Vodka on our site. This one tantalizes us with fake bacon flavor. Yes, Iowa college students, here’s your chance to have early AM spray vomit that smells like a carnie.  Beware.

Green Mark vodka's supposed claim to fame is its "imported from Russia". Why would anyone import bottom shelf vodka from Russia?

The flavor scienticians at Svedka give up and just spin the artificial flavor wheel for this latest shitty vodka attempt.

Waffle flavored vodka. Where’s the insulin flavored vodka to go with the maple syrup vodka to go with this?

UV.  Seriously.  Just stop...  No more.  I give.

Wanna make your vodka even more shitty?  Bundle it with an unspecified liqueur to mask your nail polish remover taste and give it a vaguely soviet design.

I always trust a vodka with an eagle.  The font stating "LITER" is the same size as the brand name.  This one works equally well as nail polish remover.

Shitty vodka can be used for lots of things, like masking your drinking problem with a watermelon.  Also, removing unsightly graffiti.

The logo on this one almost looks like a pool of vomit.  Prescient vodka.

Tired of your alcoholism being so easy to spot?  Anorexic?  Skinny Freezers have you covered.  "Finally, a low-calorie frozen treat, for adults, that won’t hit your waistline! It CAN however hit the POOLSIDE, BEACHSIDE, BARSIDE, and GRILLSIDE!"

Combining two beat-to-death trends in one: the over-the-top fanboying of Sriracha hot sauce, and the constant barrage of nasty flavored vodkas. Way to go, Phillips/UV.

Forlorn, I had to work a double shift at Cinnabon's today.

Make sure to add it to your #PSL so you can hide your drinking problem at work.

TARGET MARKET:  100 lb alcoholic rail-thin women with a deep concern about getting fat from drinking cocktails.