…is how I like my characters

Vincent: “Whuh...?” [frog blink]

Alastor: “Ah, you’re awake!”

Vincent: [processes that The Not-Yet Radio Demon Is In Fact Right There] “AGH—hgk-!”

[His voice cracks woefully, and he coughs a few times. Alastor doesn’t like the sound of it.]

Alastor: “I was beginning to think you’d slipped into a coma!”

Vincent: “Jesus Christ, Alastor, how long have you been here?”

Alastor: “Long enough.”

Vincent: “What- what time even is it?”

Alastor: “About seven.”

Vincent, who fell asleep at three: “What?!” [this makes his voice threaten to give out on him again]

Alastor: [clicks his tongue pitifully] “Really, Vincent, you mustn’t keep shouting like that, you’re going to ruin that already-fraying voice of yours. Which reminds me- I brought you tea, and medicine, and a few cloths you can run under cool water for your fever—”

Vincent: “Wait, how did... huh? H-how did youhh...” [hurriedly grabs one of the cloths in question as his breath catches in his chest] “Huhh, ehH! EHhgkTZSHhue! Hehh- IYKTZSCHh’heww!”

Alastor: “— or for that, I suppose.”

Vincent: “Sndkk-! Eugh... How’d you even’d kn’dow I was sigck?”

[He realises how that sounds, gives the soggiest sigh you've EVER heard, and blows his nose.]

Alastor: “Well, that’s made it glaringly obvious, but you were snoring quite loudly last night, and I know you well enough by now to know that means you’re coming down with something.”

Vincent: “I really did feel finde earlier before I left.”

Alastor: “For both our sakes, stop lying to me; you practically staggered like a drunkard out the door.”

Vincent: “Ndo, really— Sndff! Ugh... I had a bit of a scratchy throat last night, and sure, it might’ve gotten a little worse today, but I absolutely didn’t feel this shitty.”

Alastor: “Then explain why I found Vincent Whittman, godsend of Studio 6, lying on the couch in his dressing room.”

Vincent: “I felt kinda tired, and I thought a nap would help. But I only planned to sleep for, like, twenty minutes, not four hours— Ohhh, fuck, I have sooo much to do...”

Alastor: “And all of it can wait, my dear fellow- I’ve already taken the liberty of apologising on your behalf and telling the others you’ll be taking the next few days off.”

Vincent: [Head in his hands] “Alastorrrr...”

Alastor was sure that he had thought of everything prior to committing to this deal. Like everything in his life, every tiny detail was carefully crafted according to plan. It didn't matter that he was quite literally tied in a chair or whatever arrogant nonsense Vox spouted; it was truly Alastor in control.

Well, he'd thought of almost everything.

It turned out that not having a free hand to scratch one's nose was probably one the worst punishments in all of Hell. Alastor prided himself on his physical endurance through pain of any kind, but there was something so nagging, so persistent about this affliction.

He knew what was causing this. How could he not? It was only in his nature to scan his every environment for any potential dangers. Rather than a big tough scary demon or what have you lurking in the corner, it was simply a bouquet of flowers sitting at the computer station.

Alastor's sinuses had been buzzing uncomfortably all morning. He knew there were only two cures: vaporizing the flowers into thin air using powers that currently didn't work, or giving into a much needed sneeze to clear himself of the irritant. He'd love to use a tentacle to rub the itch away, but Vox was determined to stay typing away at the computer all damn morning, and surely he'd have a field day at the sight.

Even when he felt his nose threaten to drip, Alastor maintained his composure and smile. Maybe he could get it out that way. He made sure Vox wasn't looking and scrunched his face towards his shoulder to wipe away some of the mess. The rough fabric also helped alleviate some of the itch too. Not all of it, but it was better than nothing.

This worked for a short while before his stubborn nose produced sniffles that thankfully seemed to be covered by the sound of the keyboard. What he really needed was some privacy and a tissue to get it all out of his system.

That was what he usually did. As long as he could help it, he never sneezed in front of others. His ability to hold back was actually rather impressive. His willpower now would have been enough if it weren't for being trapped with the blasted flowers in such a small room all damn morning.

This next sniffle was a mistake, and the itch blossomed deep on one side. Alastor clenched his jaw, held his breath. He could only hold off for a few minutes before snapping into his shoulder, letting out a few silent sneezes.

Unfortunately the movement still made some noise, and Vox looked over curiously.

"Struggling are we? You already know there's no getting out of those restraints. The only reason you should even try is for my own entertainment."

"What a boring life you must have - " Alastor started, his grin faltering at being forced to breathe deeply in order to speak. "Hhh-snf! What a boring life you must have if me sitting here doing nothing is entertaining for you."

Vox raised an eyebrow. Come to think of it, Alastor's nose looked pinker than usual. Oh, entertaining indeed. He smirked. "Oh, but you're quite the spectacle doing nothing. You're finally not running your mouth for once. It's nice to hear my own thoughts."

"Do us both a favor and...keep them in your - " Alastor held his breath. This was getting hard.

"You can hardly seem to finish your sentences, Al. Is something troubling you?"

"N-not at all." Alastor wheezed, his lungs filling involuntarily. Fuck. "Hh-hh-hh'tscxxt!" He gasped, his cheeks reddening.

Vox raised both eyebrows, his features pulling into an evil smile. "Aww, bless you." He mocked. "Was that all what was wrong? You've always been so dramatic about the most basic of things."

"Hh'tschtt! H'scxt!" H'schKT! Hihh... H'chtshh!”

"You wouldn't have to sneeze so many times if you let them out. Come on now. Use that smart little brain of yours." Vox gave Alastor's head a firm little rub.

"I won't be so gracious as to aim away from you with the next one if you don't get your hands off me." Congestion crept into Alastor's threat.

"So you admit there will be more? Well don't keep me waiting." Vox paused. "Go on."

"The point still stands," Alastor sniffled several times against the mess threatening his upper lip. "What a boring life to sit around and watch someone sneeze. Don't you have petty little emails to write?"

"Of course I do, but this is far more fun. You do sound like you could use a tissue though, deer. It's there if you need it." There was a box over on the table. Vox didn't move to grab it. Alastor would have to swallow his pride and ask for them - politely.

"No need." Alastor's eyes fluttered shut against his will. "Hh'eshhtt! Hschtt! Hhe'eshhh!"

"Very well then. I can't help but wonder what's got your nose this morning. It'd be a shame if you were coming down with something. It's no fun if you're already suffering from something else."

Alastor wasn't thinking when he glanced over at the flowers sitting there innocently. Vox took notice, wasting no time to grab the bouquet and study it closely. "What? These?"

"I never said that."

"It really would be a shame if you were allergic to them. They were a gift. It would rude to throw them out." Vox pretended to stare at them longingly. "But I suppose if they're bothering you..."

"Not at all. You and both know that it would take much more than this to bring me down. They really are quite lovely."

"Aren't they? They smell amazing." As if to demonstrate, Vox smelled them before holding them out towards Alastor's face. "Here. Tell me what you think."

“HHh'ESHTSCHh’iew!” Alastor snapped forward in his chair, face looking at the ground. Despite his earlier joke, the thought of sneezing on Vox was actually more humiliating than he could stand.

"Hh’eskkcsshhuu! Hhe'scheww!"

"Aww, you can't handle them?" There was a low purring quality in Vox's voice. To see the great Radio Demon lose control was beyond alluring.

"You must stop putting words in my mouth. I am perfectly fine." Alastor said, voice thick and face streaming.

"I'm glad you feel that way. In fact, do you mind holding onto them for a little bit? I want to find a bigger vase for them." Vox didn't miss the look in Alastor's eyes. "Unless..."

"Unless nothing. Don't you worry. Huhh'ghsshuu!" Alastor blinked wearily. "They're safe with me."

With that, the bouquet was set in Alastor's lap and Vox had left. Alastor knew better than to believe that he was truly left alone. Vox had hidden cameras everywhere.

"Hh'sshhh! Eh'shh!" Little sneezes escaped, his eyes itching like crazy. He wondered what exact flowers were in the arrangement. The lilies were definitely causing the majority of this, but there was such a beautiful variety all contributing in their own fun little ways.

"HH'HHESHHUH! Huh'ghesshhww! H'tashhshuu!"

Alastor's head was swimming, allergic tears pricking at his eyes. Another sneeze came on every time he caught his breath. The mess was everywhere; there was no containing it anymore. Thank God he finally heard the door close and in walk Vox, nothing in hand.

"What do you know. I couldn't find anything in storage." There was almost some sympathy in Vox's expression when he took note of Alastor's face.

"My goodness. No need to cry my darling. I told you I'd come back."

Vox cupped a tender hand around Alastor's flushed cheek, a thumb used to wipe away the tears.

"The great all powerful Alastor brought to his knees by a mere plant. What a mercy." Vox tilted Alastor's chin up, met his watery eyes. "And a delight."

"G-get off," Alastor rasped.

"I don't think you're in any positon to be giving me orders."

"Let go." Alastor kicked his legs desperately, but his face remained firmly held in place. "Huhh'SSHHEWWW!"

Vox jumped back with a yelp. He knew he had no one to blame but himself, but still! "Fuck! That was disgusting, Al! Can't you cover your mouth?" He frantically wiped at his screen.

"No?" Alastor pulled at his restraints. He was red and hot, although he'd be lying if he wasn't the tiniest bit amused. "Tried to warn you."

Vox sighed and grabbed the bouquet, much to Alastor's relief. "Oh yeah. Well, I suppose I should put these back in their water. I want them to be alive for a long time."

With the bouquet away from him, Alastor could breathe a little easier. He so desperately needed the box of tissues that he strategically couldn't reach.

"I could really use something." Alastor said quietly, hoarsely. Vox pretended to not hear him. "Come on. Haven't you had your fun?"

"Hm? You need something?" Came the reply.

Alastor growled.

"You'll have to tell me what you need. I'm not a mind reader."

Alastor took a slow deep breath. "Can you give me the tissues?"

"Tissues what?"

The lightbulbs in the room flickered. "Please." He said through gritted teeth.

"Of course! All you had to do was ask." Vox tossed the box into Alastor's lap.

"You do remember my hands are tied, no?"

"Every second of every day." Vox finally stood, finally grabbed a handful of tissues and held them to Alastor's face. The tissues were drenched almost immediately.

"I can only imagine how humiliating it is for someone else to have to tend to your runny nose." Vox mused.

"I'd say it's worse for you. You're the one actually holding the tissues."

"Yeah but whose snot is it?" Vox tossed the tissues in the trashcan. "You need more?"

Alastor shook his head, rather wore out. He closed his eyes, feeling sniffly but at least the worst was over. He jumped when a cool cloth started wiping down his face.

"Don't freak out." Vox sounded surprisingly soft compared to earlier. "Take this."

Alastor shook his head. "Absolutely not. You just got through with poisoning me once today."

"It's not poison, but it will make you sleepy. C'mon."

Alastor took the pink pill being prodded into his mouth and downed the ice water. He watched in bewilderment as Vox actually took the bouquet with him and turned off the lights.

"I have a meeting coming up. I don't need you sneezing every ten seconds interrupting it. I expect that you'll stay right here."