#BLM

over on patreon Space Bat asked for: ‘the weight of nothing behind you when walking up the stairs’ and that got me thinking up some micro horror stories.

enjoy this itty bitty spooky anthology.

Halfway up the stairs you hear a crash in the kitchen. “Everything is fine!” your sister calls out as you rub your temple and sigh, “I managed to save the ice cream! I’ll be right behind you”. You have big doubts that everything is actually fine considering her track record with basic motor functions, but you figure you can both clean up the mess sometime before your parents get home. Despite your dramatics her clumsiness doesn’t really bother you. What does bother you is the fact that a step later you can hear her right behind you, just like she said she’d be, chatting away. Because between the fact that you never heard the creak of extra footsteps and the fact that there’s no way she made it to you that fast, her being there should be impossible.

You stop and grip the railing as every creepypasta you read in middle school flashes before your eyes.

“Are you sure everything is okay? Are you okay?” you ask.

“Um, of course I am?” she replies, “I caught those bowls like a ninja when I slipped! And…oh. Oh no. I slipped.”

The empty space behind you goes quiet, and when you finally get the courage to turn around you run to the kitchen with an instinctual urgency.

You find her body crumpled on the floor, a bowl of ice cream perfectly upright in each hand. The blood on the corner of the counter matches the growing pool underneath her head, and as you frantically call 911 you swear you hear the softest saddest laugh in the empty space behind you.

“I told you I caught them,” She whispers.

I don’t know any history surrounding that but kinks and poly are not LGBT+. They deviate from social norms, certainly, but they’re adjectives, not subjects.

When I was growing up, I was told that the kink community was the physical space in which the queer community existed and that non-monogamy/polyamory as the concepts that exist today were born directly out of queer culture and the environments that shaped it.

Basically, back in the early years when most of queer culture was an arrestable offense and people mostly only got to meet their partners in the backrooms of old speakeasies and nightclubs, kink spaces were doing the same thing and were one of the only non-mob owned options for gatherings. Kink communities themselves were almost entirely made up of queer folks already anyways because surprise surprise a community made mostly of abuse survivors is gonna have pretty high rates of queer folks in it. And because of the semi-public nature of the spaces and the limited safe dating options polyamory and related non-monogamous practices became common place.

They became so common place in fact that queerness and queer culture completely and foundationally shaped the discussions around consent, relationship needs, emotional connections, and ethical behavior that became central to kink and polyamory as practices. They became so common place in part because it made sense, in part because the cultures all needed each other, and in part because, as my mother always said, “if society had already damned you just for being queer, what did you have to lose by trying all the other things society was going to damn you for as well?” This, incidentally, is also why there have historically been such high numbers of queer folk in illegal occupations like sex work and why my mom and aunties also used to consider sex work as a culture pretty fucking queer too.

But the years went by and your average, “respectable” white gay and lesbian folks with their picket fence day dreams started making progress. They started kicking people to the curb in an effort to make queerness look less “challenging” and different. Bye bye, bisexuals, bye bye drag and trans culture, bye bye non-monogamy what do you mean you actually think the “slippery slope” to gay marriage also leading to polygamy might be a good thing? Bye bye all you sex freaks, sexuality is something your born with and you can’t help who you love, it’s not like all that disgusting talking-about-sex-and-building-the-entire-network-of-sex-ed-information-we-used-to-desperately-try-and-survive-the-AIDS-crisis-ew-you-perverts-our-sex-is-beautiful-and-pure-like-marriage! And so on and so forth.

See, when it was all about survival, the distinction that Straight people drew between gay, kinky, polyamorous, trans, ace, etc was irrelevant. They’d kill us all the same so we might as well band together and make a world in which the next generation might not just live but thrive. But once it became about gaining access to state acceptance and making room within the legal framework that already existed, those of us who were too scary to Straight society, who still needed the hierarchy destroyed, not just expanded, became dead weight. Our labor, our physical space, our intellectual efforts all became irrelevant and all that mattered was when the Straights looked at White Cis Gays they saw Us instead. So the White Cis Gays fixed that by making it clear they thought we were just as disgusting as the Straights thought we were. They abandoned us and took our history and our language and our fucking lives with them and said we weren’t ~allowed~ to have it. And because those of us who were marginalized in many ways or who were doubly or triply damned were more likely to have suffered massive losses during the AIDS crisis and to still be living in poverty, in crime, and in general destitution of social capital, we’ve been fighting an uphill battle not to be erased ever since.

So now you have a whole generation or two or three who grew up being told a sanitized history where a “drag queen” threw the first brick at Stonewall, Pride wasn’t started by one of the bisexual Queens of Kink, and non-monogamy hasn’t been the natural progression of so many of our communities for generations. And they tell us we never existed, we’re just secret straighties thinking our gross sex lives make us queer, we could just choose to be respectable and “normal” like everyone else and then we wouldn’t be “bullied” (because god forbid our actual oppression be recognized) and they completely miss the irony.

And as much as I hate that I have to list my credentials in order for there to be a chance in burning hell for this response to be considered legitimate, I am the nonbinary, bisexual, polyamorous, kinky, intersex child of a bisexual, kinky, polyamorous woman who spent all of my life and most of hers in the heart of Queer culture and politics to the point that she put me on the stand in front of the entire school board and a third of the state at age 10 to fight for our right to participate in the Day of Silence without fear of suspension, expulsion, abuse, or injury/death. I was on my mother’s hip at the state capitol protests with police in riot gear ready to do whatever it took to prevent us from entering the building. I am Queer in so many ways, including ones no one can dare fucking argue and so was my mother before me and my aunties before her, and this is THEIR history I am telling and will keep telling until I’m dead because I will rot before I let people erase their memories, blood, and joy from our history by claiming that kink and polyamory don’t belong.

I apologize for that all sounding angry and upset. It is not aimed at anyone in particular. I am just very very tired and it’s almost Passover which means that my auntie’s are a lot more on my brain than usual and I am just so exhausted by the way I have been mocked and belittled for months now over things that were simply Truth when I was growing up. Please understand how much history is denied and how many ancestors are dishonored by this rhetoric of “who REALLY belongs in the community?”

“monogamous heterosexual relationships are patriarchal bullshit.”

I took offense at the time. But when you don’t let people use words like “queer” to describe “everyone who isn’t in this Normative Bubble of heterosexual serial monogamy”, you have to get pretty specific about the fact that STRAIGHT refers to this concept of being “normal” which in this culture has meant for many years “Straight, cis, monogamous (or doing your best to fake all of the above)” 

Quit fucking gatekeeping.

The people who hate us hate all of us. Joining them in their hatred doesn’t solve the problem. 

tw: racism, slavery, anti-blackness, police brutality

I have seen countless people wondering what to think about the comments that Noelle Stevenson made on the twitch stream, as well as Rae’s drawing of Bow’s sibling “Sow” and the crew’s inside joke that Sow “tills the fields.”

Some disclaimers before we begin: 

I truly do not think Noelle (or the crew) knowingly and explicitly meant to be racist. Noelle did not make a “slave joke.” 

Yet, Black people were hurt, and I want to validate them and honor those who cannot reconcile with what happened. 

So thus: this post. It will be nuanced throughout and explain multiple perspectives. As you read further you’ll realize the issue has all to with with ignorance and unintended consequences. As all people, especially white people, have implicit biases, this read is especially critical for white people who don’t “get what the big deal is about.”

First and foremost: I am Black, an American descendent of slavery, and a teacher. Many of my students love She-Ra. I wanted to use this moment to teach them (and maybe some of you) how a history of stereotypes that date from the slavery era can still be evoked, even accidentally, by white folks. I will do my best to explain how and why this incident has caused controversy. 

I also want to state that any Black person is entitled to feel any type of way about this situation. There are so many Black voices I’ve listened to over the past few days with high stakes in the “Sow” conversation: Black farmers, descendants of slavery, Black LGBT+ kids who rely on She-Ra as comfort, and more. I want to be respectful of all Black voices.

I didn’t make this post out of malice towards anyone, least of all Noelle or Rae. I think being informed is a huge first step when you’re trying to understand how sometimes actions have unintended consequences, especially when you’re outside of the group that was harmed.

To avoid spreading misinformation, here are the two things that need to be addressed.

First, I have directly transcribed the section from the stream, as said by Noelle, below:

Q: Do any of Bow’s siblings have names or occupations?

Noelle: “… Their names rhyme with Bow. So there’s like Oboe and he plays the oboe. And then there’s Gough and like Van Gough he’s missing an ear. And like he [Sam] would come up and just be like which one of them tills the fields? And I was like which one Sam? And he’s like Sow. [crew laughs].”

Second, on their twitter, Noelle posted the picture that Rae Geiger drew that goes along with the crew’s inside “joke.” For this post, we’re going to focus on “Sow.”

[Image ID: In Rae’s drawing, Sow is wearing a straw hat and chewing on a straw. He has a bandana around his neck. He is smiling a wide dopey smile and is dirty and disheveled.]

What Rae admitted to drawing in their apology was a farmer that was based on a “typical” white cartoon farmer. (Remember: saying anything based off whiteness is “typical” assumes white is the default, which is harmful.) 

Let’s analyze the drawing a little bit.

1. Not all Black farmers in 2020 look like this art. For example, if you search up Black farmers on google, you’ll find the clothing shown has all different kinds of Looks. Many of the outfits include elements specific to Black fashion. Some of them have a straw hat, some have a snapback. There are more styles than this one, and this is just a google search that took 5 seconds. I have friends who are Black farmers that wear sneakers and hoodies.

2. HOWEVER. There are Black farmers who do look exactly like Sow too. Most of the stereotypical cartoon drawings of Black farmers (I google searched Black farmer cartoon) look very similar to the white farmer stereotype as well. Black farmers who resemble Sow are real and good and valid, and we need to listen to and uplift them. For hundreds of years, my people didn’t inherit any generational wealth because we truly did work the land without getting paid. We can’t let a controversy discourage people from talking about Black farmers and farming. We can’t let a controversy shame Black farmers who wear straw hats, or overalls, or get dirty. They are just as real as the farmers in #1 and are beautiful. If Black folks find Sow to be cute or good representation for them, then believe them.

(Disclaimer about #2: if you’re white and find the drawing to be cute, it is not in your place to tell Black folks what to think about it.)

3. That being said, considering that when you look up the cartoons of Black farmers, and they all look like Sow, it’s important to consider what Chimamanda Adichie calls “the danger of a single story.” What typically happens is that the only Black farmer characters you would see depicted by white people will rely on this one and only stereotype of what a Black farmer looks like. Having more representation of Black farmers in general will allow us to see the Black farmers in those other photos too. You could see art of Black farmers wearing snapbacks, coats, and jeans and that look utterly different from the typical portrayals that we see. Black farmers deserve to see diverse portrayals of them in media, and it’s unfair that we constantly only ever get to see one single story of them.

4. This is where we get into it. The average white American person likely has little exposure to Black farmers irl (unless you’re from a majority Black agricultural area, such as the south.) Because of this lack of exposure, white folks are generally not going to be able to rely on real lived modern day Black farmers to inspire their art. How does someone create or draw a character when they do not share a racial background with their character and likely have little to no relationships with those who do?

Well, you can research, certainly. You can talk to Black farmers to gain their insights into a character. But unfortunately what most white people will do is fall back on stereotypes. That’s what happened with Rae’s drawing.

When we create outside of our own identities, we do implicitly rely on media: movies, tv shows, songs, books, and etc. It’s why representation is so important, because bad representation has consequences in how underrepresented people are seen in real life.

 And this is where things get tricky. Representations of modern day Black farmers are little to none. Have you ever seen a movie or tv show about modern day Black farmers? Urban farmers? Farmers in 2020? Me either.

What most American people will think of when they try to picture a Black man who farms is sadly, this:

[Image ID: An old black and white photograph of a family of Black American slaves looking serious and forlorn as they pose for a picture in a field of cotton.]

Black slaves who forcibly worked “in the fields” are an intensely prevalent image to American people. We see and hear depictions of slaves in our novels, movies, tv shows, songs, and more. 

Note: “in the fields” is a charged and loaded expression that is very well known to Black folks. It’s so unsurprising that Noelle would say that Sow “tilled the fields” instead of “Sow farmed” because of how intensely connected Black folk have been to “the fields” for hundreds of years. You can see that implicit bias in Sow’s name too.

Americans see enslaved men that look exactly like “Sow” in Louis Sachar’s Holes, Uncle Tom’s Cabin, Huck Finn, 12 Years a Slave, Harriet, The Patriot, Gone With the Wind, Lincoln, and etc. I could keep listing them. Most Americans have either seen these characters or movies or read the books and know them well. Well enough to picture Jim from Huck Finn, or Uncle Tom, or Sam from Holes.

And that’s where Sow causes controversy. Some people can see him and just see a farmer. 

Some people see him and think: plantation. 

The latter can’t really be blamed, because depictions of slaves are so firmly implanted in our social consciousness that the knee-jerk association is there and can’t be avoided for MANY descendents of slavery. And because there is such limited representation of modern day Black farmers, some folks are going to project the representation they know better onto them. 

And implicit bias absolutely went into Noelle & Sam’s joke about the name “Sow” and the fact that he “tills the fields.” (Explained further below the cut.)

Science has shown how hard it is to remove a stereotype from the brain. Some stereotypes have been massively pushed and kept alive for years because those in power like those stereotypes. They help plant an image in someone’s mind of a marginalized group, and this leads to a downward spiral of dehumanization and more.

Let me show you some of the most famous stereotypes of African American “farmers” from American history and literature and you’ll see exactly how these stereotypes have stayed so pervasive, and why they are so harmful.

over on patreon Tama asked for: ‘Selkies who live in a lake rather than an ocean, like irl Baikal seals’ so here are some fresh water friends. a jolly trader stepping out for the day, a dancer trying on an algae-dyed skirt, a cocky wrestler in pre-match ceremonial garb, and a bab.

General Selkie Facts:

Selkies in the Small Guide universe are somewhere between mermaids and werewolves. Except it would be more accurate to call them were-humanoids. They’re born in seal form and their skin doesn’t loosen until their first molt approaches. After this molt they can usually  remove their seal-skin at will, though many go their whole lives without completely removing it and just vibe in their half transformed forms by loosening their skins (seen here). They keep them attached as faux clothing since they’re able to split and mold the loose skin as they please. Also, trying to find somewhere to to keep clothes when you live in or near the water your whole life is a pain. This does not hurt, as seal-skin is strangely gelatinous  when loose and its tactile sense is kinda garbage. Like, if you stomp on someone’s skin with all your might they will certainly feel it, but it’d probably take them a while to figure out that you’re gently pinching one of their weird flesh tentacles.

Also don’t do that. That’s weird. 

A seal-skin is a real living part of a selkie’s body and it doesn’t stop living when they completely take it off. It’s an organ, and it acts like one. All skins look kind of creepy without a person inside them, but some are worse than others. It’s just as likely that a skin will look like a deflated, gently pulsating, seal-shaped jelly monster as it will a roiling pile of random fur and flesh. When there’s no one to control its structure, anything goes baybeeeeee.

pride birds!!!!

This is one of the Strips included in the first print collection of stutterhug silent comics -  fully funded and Kickstarting now! ✨💜💜