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Happy Birthday, Sherlock Holmes ♥

Always.

okay but like, did john talk about sherlock when he thought that sherlock was dead? did he talk about sholto when he thought sherlock was dead? did he tell mary about missed chances and regrets when he confided his feelings? surely he talked about sherlock as much as he did sholto (not that mary wants sherlock to know that). did he confess his love for her by telling her that he couldn’t spend his life losing chances because he was too afraid to reveal his feelings, and then tell her about sherlock and sholto?

did he tell mary about their military adventures? did he tell her about all of his crazy crime solving with sherlock? did he cry when he told her? was there whiskey? did she console him?

No. No, no, no. Stop. Listen. Look. Just listen. When Sherlock (fake) jumped off a building to his death in front of John Watson (his only friend). John blamed himself. He BLAMED HIMSELF. He thought it was his fault that Sherlock was dead. That he wasn’t a good enough friend. He wasn’t a good enough doctor. And he deserved the pain and guilt that came with his friend’s death. And maybe Sherlock needed that. He needed John to SEE it; it was the only way he knew John would believe it and be too shocked to try to follow. John knew Sherlock was dead because he didn’t just see it, he WATCHED it happen. Watched his friend kill himself and died on the inside because of it. John Watson couldn’t… He couldn’t bring himself to talk about Sherlock after… after that. Every time he thinks about Sherlock, it’s like getting shot all over again. His shoulder spasms, his hand starts to shake, and his leg will give out. And sometimes he has to drink to stop the shaking. It would have been so much easier if there was actually a physical wound, rather than feeling his heart shatter over and over again as Sherlock’s name was dragged through the mud, as all those people lied about him, insulted him, tarnished his image and tried to bully John into silence. And that one day when he wished he’d tried to catch Sherlock… And if he’d made it, at least they’d go together. Because when it had been James, sure John wasn’t there! It wasn’t after screaming as his friend, insulting him, and watching him die… No, James… He wished he could have been there, been the medic to treat that whole desperate squad. And it broke him then, and he was a dead man walking… But Sherlock had pulled him out of that. Sherlock had saved him… And John had failed him. So no. John didn’t… He couldn’t talk to Mary about Sherlock. Ever. You’d have to be dead in a hole to not hear Sherlock’s name and John’s side by side during the trials. See John’s name in the papers… Hear the gossip around the surgery… So sure Mary knew who Sherlock was. But not through John. Never through John. John knew he was broken and damaged, but he’d nearly gotten over losing James. So he could talk about that. And every time he thought about Sherlock, and he got that melancholy expression on his face, he lied and told a story about Sholto. John mentioned Sholto ALL the time. But only because he was thinking about Sherlock, and he couldn’t… he just couldn’t…

**flings self into the sun never to return**

when i picture femsherlock all i can see is annie clark

when i picture femsherlock all i can see is annie clark

John Watson - Social behavior radar extraordinaire.

The SHERLOCK parallels are so strong here...