Sheri

The perfect photo.

The perfect post.

The perfect 'something' that would show everyone how worthy I was of time and attention.

I'm so tired of reaching out. And I see them cry for clout. Inventing relationships they never had so they can get flowers sent to their front door every time someone dies.

But I do love. I don't need eyes on my tear-filled ones. I don't need an audience to witness how deep I've loved. I don't need to perform emotion.

So the older I get, the more my feelings about something being "off" become undeniable. Yes, it's very weird to talk about trauma tourism and I think that's exactly why narcissists and sociopaths hide within it. Because how awful would you be to suggest they just want to make it all about them?

I can't be fooled into thinking I'm the bad guy anymore. I was always the person you wanted to make small. You hated my optimism or my long legs or my luck. You wanted me to worry and dress differently and stop taking chances. Your whole life is some competition and you hate people who never wanted to play.

Adult sadness is just wishing you could have your teenage naivety back.