At this time in 2015, I was at the lowest point I had ever been at. We lost our home, my mom had just been diagnosed with cancer, my best friend and I had a huge fall out, the dog I had raised for 9 years since his birth jumped the fence and was killed by a car, I hated my job and the guy I had been involved with for years exitied in a sudden and unexpected way. I was extremely depressed, hopeless, not quite suicidal but often wished to not wake up the next morning. I medicated myself with painkillers, excessive amounts of sleeping pills and alcohol. I just didn’t care anymore. Finally after months of battling with myself, I checked into therapy. I prayed harder and more often than I ever did before. I took some time for soul searching.

Fast forward to now. I get paid very good amount of money to cut deli meats. As a matter of fact, I went in for an interview to get an even bigger promotion just last week. Although my mom isn’t in top health, her tumor has significantly shrunk. I still don’t have many friends but I know that I am loved greatly by the ones I do have. And speaking of love, I found a guy who adores and accepts me exactly as I am. He was there during the downward spiral, he knows of all the damage but not once has he ever made me feel like a psycho because of it. It’s like I was reborn from the ashes. I don’t feel ashamed of my past. I don’t feel angry anymore. I don’t feel hate or like a victim. I just feel like me. Unapologetically, this is who I am take it or leave it, me. And you know what, it feels damn good.

Is my life perfect? No. Far from it. There’s still chaos. There are still scars. I still have fears and questions I may never find the answer to. But the only constant in life is that it’s forever changing. Sometimes the universe, sometimes God, allows bad things to happen to you so that those events will make you stronger. Sometimes these things happen so that you can teach your wisdom onto others when they need it the most. Sometimes you are given dark times so you can fully appreciate the light ones.