Hi brothers and sisters, I would love to share with you a poem of mine. I wrote it today (on 27th June 2023).
Oh God, I really need some hope
Now, when everything tells me that it will not
Be at least fine, not at all
But it will stay the same as it was
I feel like these problems will never stop
So please, remind me in Whom I put my hope
You are God Almighty, You can do all things
You have helped a lot of people, including me
I am still here on earth only thanks to Your mercy and love
You have proven me that it's good as long as You're in control
You always take care of everything for You're the Creator of the whole world
So I will continue to trust in You and show You my love
For You are worthy of it, my Savior
When I was at my lowest and had scary images in my mind
You were The One Who tole me that it's not where my story of life stops
It's not where my testimony ends, but it's only the beginning
For greater things will come, there will still be a lot of blessings
You put Your hope deep inside of my heart
And You kept reminding me of it when something in me wanted to give up
And reminded me that it will be okay
So why shouldn't I trust in what You say
Even after You took my hurt away
And made me see sense in living again?
When I wanted to hurt myself, You didn't let me do that
You were my Protector and let me feel Your love that Is surely great
You constantly gave me sings that it will be okay
For it's not the end, I will be never forsaken
I will never be left, never left heartbroken, on my own
There will always be You â my Living Water and Hope
You will never disappear, will always be close to me
For You are my my Living Source of Comfort, You always love me
Even when I keep on making mistakes over and over again
You don't judge me and hate me, but get rid of my pain
Then You make sure that I will come back to the right path
And simply not forget that it's only thanks to You, that I got through the day
When people mocked me for who I am
When they were taking photos to laugh at my appearance
You were constantly there by my side
You always knew how hurt and anxious I was most of the time
There was no one who stood up for me, people were leaving me
But You never left even though You knew every sin of mine and every symptom of my disease
You knew about it all but it didn't push You away from me
Moreover, You helped me to get to know You more through this storm, for You do not see
The way the world sees, but You see the heart of a human
Once anyone asks You for forgiveness and repents with Your help, the old version of this person dies
And You forgot of how impure and sinfull this person was
The new creature â that's what is important in Your Holy Eyes
Just like You never push anyone away
You also hear all of my prayers
You know what's the best for me
You never let the enemy steal from me
What You wanted me to have
The door that You left open, are always open
The door that You close are never opened
And forever I will be greatful for Your kindess
And the fact that You never stopped giving me Your Guidence
That's why I will always give You praise
For You are and will always be there, You never left
Even at my hardest times, the times of the tests
To see if I truly repented or not, You were there
No matter if I passed them or not, Your Presence never left me
But You continued to show me Your grace
And moreover, You still save
Me from the enemy's weapons and You say
That none of them will prosper, there is no way
For You have control over every single thing
You will never let satan hurt me
But You will send an angel to protect me
On Your behalf and You will guide me
Tell me wherever I should go to not let him hurt me
Nor open the door for him in my life, but always have the place for You in my heart
For my Lord, You are so Faithful
You are so Good, simply Wonderful
I keep on thinking whether there is a word
That can exactly describe that You're so Incredible
You are Awesome, Amazing, Fantastic
And there is nothing nor no one that is Greater
If someone says otherwise, that's just the enemy lying
He tries to make me run from You all the time, but You're a Better Fighter
You fight for me and win my battles, and You keep on looking for me when I get lost
You search for me, oh my Wonderful and Awesome, Good Shepherd
Oh, tell me, can there exist a love that is greater
Than Your love? I highly doubt it
For You even died on the cross to save me
You gave me eternal life and what do You want from me because of that?
Nothing more than just our friendship
You want me to tell You how my day goes, thank You and ask You for forgiveness if I sin
And You tell me to treat others the way I would love to be treated, love my human enemies
You want me to repent from all of my wicked ways
But You never disappear in this process
You keep on helping me all the time no matter what happens
Even when I fall short of the glory of Yours, oh God
Our sin crucified You, but You still show us Your Great love
Is there anything that I shouldn't be greatful for?
You have provided me food, home, family and people that I can talk to
Not forgetting about the fact that You're The One That I can always go to
When something seems fine, when something makes me feel hurt
I can always rely on You, for I am in Your Mighty Heart and You Are in mine
I could talk to You about how Wonderful You Are during the day and all night
But I still wouln't be able to thank You for the blessings that You've given me in my life
For is there a way that I could thank You for Your Presence and work on my heart
In every single year, month, week, day, hour, minute or second in my life, hearing every cry of mine
And comforting me when something didn't seem to end up fine, be alright?
I will never be able to thank You for the times in which You made me feel happiness
For all the times in which I felt anxious but You took it all away
I still remember when the demons were attacking me, when I got anxiety pannics
And kept on being afraid everywhere I went, sometimes prefered
To be anywhere else than home, for I was scared to be there in such a darkness
Only You know the full story of my life and only You know how You always kept helping me
Even when I wasn't obedient to You and ignored Your Word, even when I tried to
Run away from Your Presence at times when I felt too guilty to stand before You
You kept on drawing closer and closer to me, even though I rejected You and hardened my heart
You didn't give up on me, Were The One Who understood what I was going through and saw my hurt
When my family were telling others how lazy I am
That the only thing that I keep on doing is just laying
In my bed, You Were The One Who knew about every single tear that I shed
You Were The Only One Who knew what truly is behind this so called laziness
And You knew that it actually is the enemy making me depressed
You exactly knew what kind of thoughts were racing in my head
You knew how sometimes I didn't know what is waiting for me today
I was afraid that one day I will simply give up
But You were The Only One Who stayed and helped me to just get up
No one talked to me how to overcome it
I tried to do it my way, learning psychology â that's where I tried to seek help
It didn't worked, I only wasted my time
Wordly music, looking for ideal people and trying to make their own interests mine
Insecurities about my body, getting hurt by the opinions of other people, having traumas that were replying over and over
And activated by everything that could remind me of them
I was crying while spending time with my family being afraid that I will lose them
I used to have some crazy flashbacks that made me think that I am at the times when it all happened
I thought that I am in the past, right in the middle of this traumatic event even though I was safely laying in my bed
I kept on crying, still unsure if anyone from my family heard me
Family and friends â even though they tried to help me
Nothing could be done for me â that's what I had in my mind
Well, untill You found me again
I slowly learned what means to have hope for the better tommorow
With You I learned that not all of my days have to be filled with sorrow
Even though I got so used to crying inside every single day and sometimes at night
That it actually messed up my mind and made me think that it should stay like that
You were there to help me reach out for Your help
And You Became The One Who taught me how to do this step by step
It's still hard for me to know when You did it, but You took away all of my traumas
After more than two years of being lost, You found me and fixed my wounded heart
After all of this time, I finally didn't have to fake my smile
But was able to actually feel the happiness in the bottom of my heart
My low self-esteem â You took care of it too â
You actually made me see myself in the way I look from Your point of view
You revealed to me that I am a child of Yours
And I shouldn't be ashamed of the way I look
For You created me in a wonderful and fearful way
And You keep showing me Your Great love every single day
With You by my side, I finally realized
That it's not the problem in me, it's the darkness that I should fight
In the Mighty Name of Yours, for You Are The Way, Light and The Truth
You will free me from what steals the peace from my heart
And You will Be the Only True Source of My Light
Untill the very end of my whole life
And that's why Lord I want to give You praise forever
You are The Only One Who Were always there to save my day
When I had no hope, You Became my True Hope
When I kept on writing in poems that I have no place to call home, You said that there's someone to Whom I belong
When I was feeling miserable and had suicidal thoughts, kept on apologizing for my existence in my mind
You were there to slowly teach me that You have given me purpose in my life and that's why I shouldn't give up
When I felt lonely and thought that I'm only a burden, You kept reminding me that I am still loved by You
And when I felt worthless, You revealed to me that in You there is my worth
For how can I not feel loved when You actually died for me
So that I can be saved, feel the actual happiness
And have the chance to go to Heaven when there is eternal love, hope and peace?
Well, when I tell You and sing for You that I love You, You Are The One Who knows what I mean â
There is a story behind every day of my life and You know every single one of them
There is only One Reason of the smile that can be visible on my face
And that Is only You, my Holy Trinity Who gave me Your saving grace
I will never be able to give You the praise that You deserve