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just had the thought “water is such a nothing liquid” then felt equal parts guilt and shame

fucking the penis girl for penis

the average birthday boy ingests over 4,000 microcakes daily

if I were a wealthy successful NBA player I would install Eklay water fountains in every room if my house so I could always feel the refreshment of a courtside sip ‼️😎🏀💯

do you ever meet a white person so insecure and unsure of their place in the world that they can only cope with it by having a spice tolerance

9/11 is in the cusp of becoming the new “in soviet russia”/ generic communism joke in that it it’s based on a historical event 20-30 years after the event happened, slightly edgy due to the nature of the event, may well be used more and more as a joke in of itself, an isolated statement, rather than adding onto something else. Runs the risk of being over used and becoming dated/ a phrase that middle school boys get attached to. Time will tell

“trapezoid” sounds like an 80’s slur for trans women

asking two people who are best friends with each other if they want to hang out feels like waking up to Matt Damon and Ben Affleck and asking if they want a threesome

It’s always: “cumin smells like armpits” and never “my armpits smell like a delicious and flavorful spice”