“Wait. Pidge. Pidge, why am I blind folded? Why is the floor shaking? Did you DRUG me??”
“Calm down,” huffed Pidge. “Ok, move here. Two seconds and then you can open your eyes.”
“Is this a game? I hate games! Last time I was nearly fed to a mind-controlling sea monster and had to wear an OCTOPUS as a hat! Wait. Are you going to FEED ME TO A SEA MONSTER?!??!”
“We’re in the air, idiot.”
“Ex-CUSE—Wait. Keith is here, too??”
“Pidge, why is Keith here? Pidge? Pidge??? I feel exponentially less safe if Keith is here!”
“I haven’t even done anything to you!”
“Yeah! Yet! You tell him—! Hold on, Pidge. How do I know you aren’t in on it?”
“You don’t,” said Pidge wickedly. “You can open your eyes now.”
Just then, a massive gust of wind roared into wherever they were, and as Lance fumbled with his blindfold, a very small foot landed on the small of his back and shoved.
Lance fell, and the rush up air swallowed his scream.
***
Shiro looked up from his coffee just in time to spot a very tiny figure that he instinctively knew was Lance be pushed out of the Red Lion and into free fall miles above the ground.
“Godfuckingdamnit,” he growled and summoned his bayard to teleport.
***
Five minutes later found them all in the cockpit of the Red Lion. It was hard to look intimidating with Lance quivering and clinging to him like a kola, but Shiro gave it is best.
“He deserved it,” scowled Keith.
“He ate the last of Hunk’s cookies!” justified Pidge.
“IT WAS FAIR GAME!” shrieked Lance. “I NEARLY DIED!”
“BECAUSE YOU ATE THE LAST COOKIE!”
The cockpit devolved into screaming while Shiro facepalmed.
He was never letting Hunk take a solo vacation again.
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