A most curious collection of...

He fell asleep in his bed, at home, and woke up at the goddamn grocery store with an overhead light in his face if that happened to you you’d become The Joker

Poor guy’s only been here for like a dozen weeks he doesn’t even have a favorite show to distract him yet he’s just raw-dogging reality unfiltered with no goddamn Blorbos to rotate whatsoever

#man cookie monster you're fighting bc the lid is closed!

‎ ‎

I've seen the first 3 seconds of this and scrolled on so many times and only now do I see my mistake

I will reblog this ever damn time I see it because it is my favorite thing anyone has ever made

why does my mother suddenly fail kindergarten whenever she tries to do anything on the computer

I know she doesn't know what "the maximise button" is so I told her "click the square at the top right" and she clicked...the printer icon...in the middle of the toolbar. and I'm just like okay. this isn't a technology thing you are flunking basic shapes and directions. I'm turning off your computer and getting you a block puzzle. you have a master's degree

$10 budget Raiders of the Lost Ark

oh no he died

thats not gonna stop him

oh that gap in my resume? i was imprisoned by the lizard king for a few years, it was a whole thing. big misunderstanding, completely exonerated. but that ties into the next item on the list, 2 years as consort to the lizard king. that was actually a volunteer situation