please don't watch jojo

i still think that’s something you should work on, the same way i think experiencing extreme distress over ANYTHING should be worked on. doesn’t mean you should all go out slinging pussy or whatever but some therapeutic work to analyze this might offer some good insight

but “sex repulsion” in terms of “i experience distress even being aware of OTHER peopel having sex and seeing it at all in the media” is like… a go straight to therapy level issue. that isn’t asexuality that IS a symptom

i’m gonna use the food symbolism y’all love so bad but like… i have a very sensitive stomach. eating food i don’t like doesn’t just taste bad to me, it gives me stomach aches and makes me gag. i could probably work on expanding my tastes so i have less extreme reactions but it’s honestly no biggie if i stay like this.

First off, I should be paid things for answering asks like this.

All microlabels do is divide people who previously existed in solidarity with each other.

I'm gonna let you in on the "biromantic polysexual panopticism omniscient" crew's biggest secret, which isn't that they are just biphobic bisexuality, but that ALL of them are in response to the idea that bisexuals are inherently too sexual and too shallow, that they are attracted to multiple genders not due to sincere attraction but simply due to a lack of standards. We're too horny, too stupid, too greedy to actually just stick with the gender we're ACTUALLY attracted to.

Classic biphobia.

It’s not even wrong to be sexual or have “low standards” or just want to fuck or whatever. And yet you’ll cave in to people saying it is just to clear your own ego--you want to separate yourself because you think it’s wrong.

Instead of standing up for bisexuals on the whole, these people choose to throw the rest of us under the bus. "THEY are everything you think they are but not me. I'm biromantic, I don't even feel sexual desire. I'm not horny like THEM. I'm pansexual, I don't even SEE gender! I'm not obsessed with genitals like you transphobic, horny fucks who are so sex driven you can't even see a person for their humanity. I fall in love with HEARTS not GENDER, unlike you shallow people with your low standards."

There is no solidarity, just a desperate tug and pull on the identity, splitting it apart at the seams, to get some scrap of dignity you think can't be found when the identity is kept together.

And you can't even fucking deny that? Why feel the need to clarify all these things if you think they're already included within bisexuality? Why isn't there a "trans inclusive" version of any other labels? Why can gay and lesbian and straight be used for aces but bisexuals can't be asexual? Why do we need to clarify that we "don't fall in love with gender" as if that's how it works for anyone else? As if lesbians' quota for a partner is just "woman" (transphobic definitions may or may not apply)? It certainly fucking isn't.

And like... I'm not even gonna get into how this death by a thousand cuts, none of us have solidarity with each other shit, makes zero sense. Like... do pansxuals need different resources or spaces than bisexuals? No, then why do they need different labels? What's the point? Why separate us on a linguistic level and create enmity based on that if there is no.. actual different needs?

Why demand every person attracted to all genders parse out their exact feelings (are you attracted based on shallow reasons or are you One Of The Good Ones because you: don't feel sexual attraction, don't "see gender," "fall in love with hearts," "see all genders equally") and put them on display? What is the benefit? Do I have to change labels when I have a depressive episode and my libido is dead and MAYBE I experience sexual attraction but I'm too depressed to like... actually feel or recognize it? Am I biromantic until further notice?

Whats the fucking point of it all besides separating us from each other?

Do we need separate labels for bisexuals whose primary point of interest is shared hobbies and bisexuals whose primary point of interest is actually finding someone with complementary but different interests? Different bisexual labels based on love languages (other fucking microlabel obsessed hogwash)? I'm a tits bisexual, are you an ass bisexual? Lets divide up our resources based on that.

I think if you met your partner and naturally fell in love with them, you should haev a different label from someone who met their partner on a dating app. If you met in high school, a different label from those who met in college or grad school.

Why not?

How are any of those less valid than "I like every gender equally" separating us and creating this stupid fucking war that distracts us from the actual shit that matters?

Not normal?

Asexuality is normal.

Bisexuality is normal.

Being gay/lesbian is normal.

Being straight is normal.

Our community is NOT for the abnormal. Its not for the weird and strange people of the earth. There are weird straight people with different desires for relationships. There are weird gay/bisexuals who have different things they want out of a relationship. And there are weird asexuals who want unique things in a relationship. Heck, there are bi/gay/straights who want no relationship at all-- but arent asexual because they experience attraction. Cuz its not about what you want/are comfy doing. Its just about 'who' you like.

Not liking romance is not a sexuality. Not liking sex is not a sexuality. That is in fact a preference. And sure, it'll make finding partners hard. But so will a million and one other things about a person.

And yeah, the SAM makes it so asexuality acts as a preference rather than a sexuality in it's own right. And thats why I dont like it. Asexuality is a sexuality in its own right.

And 'cant' is a strong word friend. You came onto my blog. I never once said you can't call yourself what ever. I have no right to tell someone what they can and can't call themselves regardless of how I feel. And I've never done so. I won't tell you what to ID as. You asked for my opinion and I gave it. I did not say what you are allowed to do. I just said my beliefs. Me stating them on my personal blog is not shoving it down your throat.

And please. If we're taking about hate. Can you not think of our community as the club for the 'weirdos.' And not associate sexuality as the act of 'sex' itself. We get enough of that already without our own community pushing that idea. Odd balls are in every group. We are coming together due to our natural attraction-- that we cannot help and is absolutely normal. The only weird things would be personality or what someone wants in a relationship. Which exist outside a sexuality.

Knowing you don't like romance is important. Its extremely good for you to know that about yourself. However, this is very much 'what you want out of a relationship.' Which is no romance in this case. Its a 'what' or a 'how.' It says nothing about 'who.'

Why is this such a big deal?

Because preference are capable of change. Capable being a key word here. I have a friend who's sex repulsed and likely always will be. I myself however grew out of my sex repulsion as I medically transitioned and actually was able to view my body as my own. Will you ever grow out of romance repulsion? I cant say. And thats okay. You're still perfectly capable of a happy healthy life regardless of if you do or not. Thats your own personal journey and I sincerly hope it does end well no matter how you grow as a person.

However, it is still a possibility. On a broad sense, preferences are capable of change. Not garenteed. But capable.

Sexuality is not. It cannot change. No amount of anything will ever make me like men. It cant change. Its fixed. Its very very important that is is fixed and unchangeable as its WHY our activism is so strong. We are natural and normal as we are. We cannot be changed. Its why its so important be allowed to exist as we are-- because it is who we are and will always be.

When you start calling preferences (which are capable of changing) sexualities you open the door to stating that sexuality can change. And I have seen so many people within the SAM part of the community claiming just that with no shame. Stating out right that sexuality can change, you can change it whenever you want, and nothing is fixed. While I encourage not bogging people down to a single word and allowing gray area and fluidity into self identification-- stating that sexuality is capable of change is a massive homophobic blunder. And I cannot in good conscious sit and be okay with people claiming otherwise.

That said, I also can't in good conscious take someones right to self identify as they wish away. If you want to use those terms, I have no right to stop you. I refuse to stop you. It is very important that everyone have the right to call themselves what ever they want, and be who ever they want to be. Everyone deserves to be themselves and be happy.

the post is still up