new bolonce

My favorite part is “We hope he has gone to rest.” What, like… they weren’t sure? Maybe, if ever the bear uprising should start again, he would rise from the ground to finish what he started and slay that 100th bear? Was this man so powerful they are concerned he might not have decided to rest at all and is simply biding his time?

This is too badass not to reblog.

#i had 99 problems and they were all bears so i fucking killed them

Reblog for last comment

They never had a chance

what happened in 1845?

That’s not the year, that’s his kill streak.

One day that tiny baby will be a big shark able to rip people to shreds

most blacktip reef sharks are no more than 5.5ft long when mature. not only that, blacktip reef sharks are timid and shy, with no fatal human attacks documented. don’t comment stuff like this on my posts, save it for another post and stay off mine. thanks

I would date an actor just so I can tell people that my boyfriend’s an actor and then they’d be like “oh? What’s he been in?” And I’d say “me” and raise my wine glass and laugh because in this scenario I’m at a fancy cocktail party.

“man ur such a pussy” a jock says to me. i laugh. “well,” i begin, looking up at him and popping the collar of my jean jacket, “like they say,” everyone waits in anticipation, “u are what u eat.” the jock dies instantly, the crowd cheers, obama is there,

now that obama isnt president anymore (*wipes away tear*) this is so much funnier cause i imagine obama dressed in jeans, taking a break from his private civilian life, just to come congratulate you on your diss