first love, late spring

sgn moodboard meme › status: accepting !

“ what i love the most about miss yooa ? that’s too broad, i love a lot of things about her. now, what i admire the most about yooa — well. she’s very assertive. she holds herself to a very high standard and it’s clear that she knows what she’s too good for. i don’t think i let people walk over me but i know i can be quite meek, i’d love to have just a tiny bit of that confidence, or self love, or whatever that is. ”

“ uh, let me see. ” jiwoo takes out her phone and haphazardly writes the passcode ( touch id is off, she doesn’t want some artificial intelligence having her fingerprints. even though they definitely already have that information and it’s hidden somewhere in the terms and conditions that they can store the info and do whatever they want with it. “ girl front by odd eye circle, go! go! maniac from the k-on soundtrack and i wanna get better by bleachers. ”

fuck art. seriously. he’s making an executive decision that, fuck art.

(never mind the fact that he doesn’t mean it. could never mean it. not when all he knows is literally just art and art alone, but right this second? when his head has been throttled empty of any creative thoughts? in the middle of a god damn painting? yeah. fuck art. he’ll die before he tries again!)

“what’s that quote,” yideun mutters, half to himself, half to jiwoo. “there’s a method to madness? whatever the fuck? haha, yeah, that’s exactly what’s going on here. never seen someone slam their head against their canvas to get those creative juices flowing?” he lifts his head to offer jiwoo a thin, almost dry smile. 

he’s just about done for the day, having entirely given up on a half complete work. somewhere in heaven or purgatory or wherever it is that actual souls go (do souls even exist)—maybe like, bali, or macau, who the fuck knows—yideun’s sure his grandmother’s watching and clicking her tongue in disapproval.

he’s usually a little meaner than this, but there is something very debilitating about not being able to paint the shit he used to paint. the evidence mocking him from a half-empty canvas.

yideun covers his face with his palm, dragging it down his cheek. “not all assholes who like art are meant to be artists,” he says, sinking back in his seat and tossing his paint brush to the side. “and not all artists need a formal education. i could just drop out of school right now and graffiti a giant dick on the auditorium roof and call that performance art. people would eat that shit up.”

it’s uncertain whether he’s talking to himself or expecting jiwoo to respond, at first. but then he moves on, like he didn’t just contemplate giving up blood, sweat, and tears at seongnam just to become banksy, and it’s evident he’s hardly thinking about a brain-to-mouth filter right now.

“whatever, fuck that. what were you painting?”

a method to madness of course, that is one way jiwoo would describe yideun’s work ethic based on the time she’s spent with him. she furrows her eyebrows, puzzled at the way he rationalizes his actions. she won’t judge, though. everyone works in different ways and if his is the ‘gotta go insane to stay sane’ one then good for him.

she awkwardly smiles back at him, nodding along to show she understands what he means.

“ oh, totally. one must still have chaos in oneself to be able to give birth to a dancing star. ” she can’t quite place where she knows the quote from, still the words leave her mouth quite easily. “ painting star in this case, i guess. ”

painting star, that makes no fucking sense. she’s trying to be encouraging but she probably sounds extremely pretentious right now. she’s never known how to help people who are clearly in distress. hell, she can’t even go up to people and say ‘hello’ without having spent five minutes hyping herself up and convincing herself it’s not going to be as bad as she thinks it will. 

how long can someone hold a forced awkward smile before they look like they’re insane? her face drops as soon as he covers his, but it soon contorts again as he starts rambling. she leans in towards him as much as she can without actually leaving her seat, but risking to fall from it. ears perked as she assimilates whatever he’s going on about now.

“ uhm, i don’t wanna make assumptions because i really don’t know you that well, but from what i’ve seen you do not seem like an assholes you like art. if anything, it seems to me that you kind of hate it. or resent it, at least. i don’t know. ” she shyly adds, shrugging at the end, hoping he doesn’t take it bad,

“ that’s true, but oriental painting is not performance art. also banksy’s a piece of shit and a poser, anyway. his performance art, like the giant dick you described, is just fake deep, like extremely shallow. people are sheep and they eat it up because it’s the most low effort ‘think-piece’ you could make. it’s ‘counter-culture’ but still comfortable enough for the common people to side with it and support it to further their edgy agenda. it’s lazy and a cash grab. like the joker, but with art. ”

he probably wasn’t even thinking about banksy, but jiwoo’s hatred towards that artist was enough for her to change the conversation topic to him just so she could ramble on about how much she hates him.

sgnhna​:

it’s not hard to entertain hana. she finds anything and everything fascinating, especially tattoos now as it was just painted skin instead of branding, which she somehow came to believe were tattoos. with her focus still on the famous sailor moon ink, a smile grew hearing the other’s comment. she understood the killua reference for his silent footsteps, but usagi? firstly, she nearly squealed hearing the japanese name. jiwoo even had a cute accent. she’s determined to know how far this girl’s japanese can go.

unconsciously, she drew small circles on jiwoo’s arm while in thought. the delighted smile began to turn into a shy smile. there was only one reason her new friend would say she was tsukino usagi— “ i am the pretty guardian who fights for love and justice.. “ she mumbles the famous line in japanese before looking up with a pink hue warming her cheeks. “ ..am i.. pretty? “ she questions; stars of longing glimmer in her eyes. being isolated for so long, she forgot a simple compliment could turn her heart into butterflies.

her hands retract upon hearing they hurt, as if her touch could bring pain. instead, her hands clasp together in her lap. beginning to realize how ignorant she was to invade such personal space. first, it was interrupting the obvious alone time, and now her personal bubble. it was very unlike hana but she was blinded by excitement to see a common interest. and it was a drawing. she loves admiring art. it’s even better watching someone create art.

when silence followed her last question and they simply shared eye contact, hana’s self-doubt emerged. maybe she was asking too many questions. maybe she wasn’t suppose to invite herself in. maybe she was overstaying her welcome. her gaze started to falter, looking at the other arm. “ i like them.. i think they like them too. “ although tempting to admire and listen to each tattoo’s story, she didn’t want to be a bother.

hands were quick to raise and wave, dismissing the offer. “ oh no, you don’t have too.. maybe.. later? “ her head tilts. she would love to have this friendship continue. “ i’m playing badminton in—” she checks her smartwatch. “ thirty-two minutes. “ a giggle follows after her words. “ can i give you.. “ her hands timidly mimic typing on a cellphone. “ ..my phone number? “

while jiwoo wouldn’t disagree that hana is pretty, the main reason why she compared her to the sailor guardian of love and justice herself was because of their shared blonde hair. it catches her off guard when she hears the girl in front of her say the catchphrase, the blush in her face deepening as she gets asked the simple question. a nervous chuckle leaves her lips as she thinks of an appropriate response. she does think she’s pretty. hell, she thinks she’s so beautiful she would willingly take a bullet for her. and while she didn’t exactly mean to call her that, she’s glad the girl thought so and doesn’t seem to mind. knowing jiwoo, it would’ve taken her at least two years to muster enough courage to call her just that.

“ you are very pretty, yes. ” jiwoo confesses, words hesitantly leaving her mouth due to embarrassment. “ you won’t punish me, will you ? ” she asks, immediately shifting the subject back to the anime at hand, no longer bearing to talk about her attraction to her. “ you know, in the name of the moon and all that. ” her eyes nervously shifting between hana’s hands on her arm and her eyes.

her eyes widen and a faint gasp escapes her lips when hana’s hands suddenly leave her arm. it felt like a band-aid being ripped without warning, but instead of the sharp pain there was nothing. and that somehow felt worse. the breeze seemingly colder as it hit the parts of her skin that were, seconds before, warm in the other girl’s touch. her desires, as innocent as they are, disgust her. in the blink of an eye she finds herself craving to be touched again, wondering if she will ever feel her fingers caressing her skin again. how appalling

enter: shame. is yearning such a sin ? should she really be punishing herself for needing to be held by a pretty girl again ? not just any pretty girl, though. but her, whose soft words and warm hands had jiwoo wrapped around her finger in just mere minutes. is she ready to deal with the heart break that comes with falling head over heels for a girl that will probably never see her as anything more than a friend, again ? she tries to brush her intrusive thoughts away, but she can’t even bring herself to make eye contact with the girl in front of her. “ i’m glad you like them. ” she politely adds, trembling words betraying any sort of front she tried to put up.

a part of her is glad hana declined her offer. instead of objecting, she just nods along to her words, stopping into a halt once she hears the suggestion. “ later ? ” she softly exclaims, surprised hana willingly wants to spend more time with her. the nodding starts up again, this time faster as if to catch up with her slurring words. “ yeah, sure, i can do later. i have no plans anyway. ” she chuckles nervously, she really doesn’t. “ i would love that ! uhm, ” she scatters though her belongings to find her phone but it’s no use. “ i can’t find my phone but—” she picks up a pen and offers it to her. “ you could write it under usagi and luna. i’ll give you mine, if you want. i really meant it when i said i’m free all day. just text me and i’ll come. ” she could try and pretend she’s not interested, but it’s no use — she has already fallen hook, line and sinker.

sgnyeeun​:

yeeun stares at the study material in front of her, a throb pulsating against her temples. for the last two hours, she has been studying this stupid topic that she actually really fucking hates and as if controlled by her stress, her fingers involuntarily reach for the pack of cigarettes in her yves saint laurent handbag. fine, she was long-due for a break anyways. yeeun’s mild addiction to nicotine started when someone told her that one of the best ways to make business connections was by networking and having idle chit chats during smoke breaks. so, naturally, she’d picked it up in her last year of high school and learnt how to take hits without coughing. yet, ironically, along the way, yeeun realised that smoking was more than a social hobby and in some twisted way, actually helped her feel better during her lowest moments. there was something calming about the burn in her lungs and the brief rush of adrenaline through her body. sure, she knows it’s bad for her health but in all honesty, what isn’t? alcohol ruins the liver, cigarettes ruin her lungs, a banking job will ruin everything else. she’s gonna die regardless, one way or another.

so, with her trusted malboro ice and lighter in hand, she makes her way to the smoking area, giving quick nods of acknowledgement to everyone else there. she has made a few friends– her extroverted nature often results in brief shallow conversations with whoever’s standing closest to her, be it about the weather or just about how much she hates the smell of smoke in her hair. but as she scans the area today, it seems like none of her acquaintances are there so yeeun sticks to her familiar spot against the brick wall.

with expert ease, cigarette propped against her lips, yeeun flicks her lighter and takes her first puff. the headache’s already disappearing. she’s blowing out a smoke ring when a pretty girl she has seen around before but has never talked arrives and starts scrambling around for a lighter. cute, yeeun thinks as she watches with an amused smile playing on her lips. her smile transforms into a playful chuckle when the girl comes up to her, a defeated look on her face and she hands over the lighter she’d just used. “took you long enough,” she teases. “i’m yeeun, by the way. in case you ever need your own personal lighter supplier.”

ever since she picked up smoking around three years ago, jiwoo always made sure to have at least two different lighters with her. she learnt the hard way that lighters never last, even more so when you constantly surround yourself with likeminded people. the number of lighters she has lost after ‘borrowing’ them is so great she can’t even begin to comprehend it, but that doesn’t erase the number of random lighters she has found in her own pockets. even though she has been the victim more times than the perpetrator, it would be pointless and hypocritical to hold grudges against the unknown lighter thieves. that’s how her protocol started; no less than two lighters on at all times and all of them branded with her initials. a seemingly infallible plan until, well, right now. it would be wrong to say that she simply left her dorm without a lighter, even if she did forget to check if she had one, there should still be at least one somewhere around in her backpack. but she doesn’t have the patience to sit down and meticulously search for it right now, she’d rather accept her defeat and take the lighter of the girl in front of her.

“ thanks. ” jiwoo murmurs, slightly bowing as she grabs the lighter that is being offered to her, the polite gesture successfully hiding the embarrassed look on her face. but it’s no use, her cheeks are already red. she straightens up and brings the lighter close to the cigarette resting on her lips, hands slightly shaking as her minds begin to focus on even more ways she could embarrass herself in front of her. she’s sure it’s going to take at least five flicks before a flame ignites but, much to her surprise, she manages to get one the first time around. a celebratory smile draws on her lips, lit cigarette dangling precariously as she hands the lighter back and simultaneously takes the first puff. 

she rests the cigarette in between her index and middle finger and shifts her head to the side as she blows out the smoke. “ do you mind if i stay ? ” jiwoo asks as she sits on the curb that surrounds the greenery — she’s not much of a wall leaner, anyway. “ nice to meet you, yeeun. i’m jiwoo. ” she smiles, politely. “ thanks again, really, you kind of saved my life back there. ” she takes another deep puff and slowly blows out. “ personal lighter supplier, huh ? i’ll keep that in mind. ” she flicks the cigarette in her hand. she hates small talk but there’s situations where it’s, tragically, inevitable. this being one of them.  “ soo, yeeun, what’s your major ? ” 

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@jiwo_o: taken immediately after i asked her if a shrimp fried this rice 

˟ ♥︎ sgn task 001 전지우’s phone !

˟ ♥︎ sgn task 001 전지우's sns !

sgntaeho​:

if there’s one thing he dislikes about himself, it’s his tendency and penchant for thinking too much, too quickly. admittedly it’s conducive to his sharp-tongued, argumentative ways. but when the whirlwind thinking happens inside his head without getting expelled verbally, it’s just a lot of mental noise which devolves into him arguing with himself. so despite how he quickly defaults back to his usual unbothered and unbotherable look, internally he’s having one of those moments right about now. quite an untimely, delayed, and uncharacteristically inflated reaction. the self-interrogation goes something like this: was it just a game? yes. did he cross a line? probably not. was it weird? meh. too sudden? maybe. lasted too long? too short? did he regret it? did she regret it? well she did just say ‘no more kissing dares’ so… why was he still hung up on a tiny, spontaneous kiss? most importantly, why would he ever listen to son junhyung?!?

sitting up straighter, he forcibly slams the ‘shut down’ button to his abnormal brain — the debugging process would have to wait until another time. he runs a hand through his hair while surveying the others and realizes that they’ve already been posing questions. thus he shamelessly plugs himself back into the loop despite having zoned out. “any of those questions sound solid,” he approves with a firm nod and easy grin, leaving jiwoo to make her choice. he glances around now, discreetly searching for the alcohol. it just now strikes him that drinking was part of the game. like you could opt to drink if you wanted to pass? or everyone else drink to override a pass? did they even decide these details? okay maybe he just wanted a drink for himself.

❱❭ @sgnjiwoo​ ; @sgnjunhyung​ ; @sgndanbi​ ; @sgnhyunjoo​

her eyes travel around as she tries to find the best lie or workaround for the questions she’s being asked. a small pout forming on her lips as she taps her cheek, hoping that somehow aids the false display she’s putting on. she didn’t know exactly what she expected, but she feels some sort of relief from the questions. aside from danbi’s, she won’t even consider answering that one, they seem pretty harmless, or rather, easy to weasel out of. right off the bat, junhyung’s is too.. vague ? broad ? no one in the circle knows any of her secrets anyway, not even danbi. especially not danbi. she could pull a random secret out of thin air and they would be none the wiser about it. but it’s exactly that that makes it harder for her to think of something. the sky is the limit and it’s overwhelms her.

that is until she remembers hyunjoo’s question. she would only date one person there and that’s danbi. and funnily enough, danbi has that cute ( read: painful ) habit of calling their 100% platonic outings dates. maybe she won’t have to lie after all. jiwoo straightens her back and places her hands on her lap. “ well if i had to date someone from here it would obviously be danbi. ” she turns to her, faking a smile so her answer comes off as a joke. a truth still, but not a serious one. “ we already kind of are, anyway. ” a forced laugh leaves her lips as she turns away from her and towards the bottle, remembering it’s her time to spin. the motion of the bottle seems eternal as she overthinks her actions. was it too forward ? did it come off as a joke as she intended it ? even if it was 100% a truth.  she sighs once it stops and looks towards it’s new victim. “ truth or dare, junhyung ? ”

sgn headcanon meme › for a lighter, slightly embarrassing secret

sgn headcanon meme › for a talent they wish they had

not exactly a ‘talent’ but people skills. jiwoo is not shy but a lot of people think she is because of how reserved and quiet she is due to her social anxiety. in reality, she wants to have friends and she wishes it was easier for her to socialize and communicate with people. she also wants to learn how to do stained glass projects.

for a ‘weird’ habit or tic that no one knows about