nyall

This is what it’s all about. Saturday night. At home. Switching between the same 4 apps on my phone. Getting scared.

actors STOP getting BOTOX it is your literal JOB to move that FOREHEAD

Jesus came back and said inflation is illegal

both kinds?

…there’s two?

hang on let me google something real quick

we should all implode and die forever actually

We just going to 7/11 man. Why you need to smoke only one hit of weed first? You should smoke the whole bowl and get scared

ooo…. lady gagita

Kermit the Frog would be an ideal assassin because if caught he would need to be tried by a jury of his peers (Muppets) and you would not be able to find a Muppet who does not have a pre-existing opinion on Kermit the fucking Frog. case thrown out. kermie can kill again. it's easy being green

“what it is that we keep coming back to is that we are just more compatible with each other day to day than anyone we will ever meet.” – dan howell 2025

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

YOU GET A LIFETIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i really like this thing where websites will have separate "log in" & "sign up" buttons and if you click "log in" it takes you to a sign-up screen anyway so you have to click "i already have an account" and then it will ask if you want to sign in with your facebook account or with instagram or linkedin or deviantart or whatever, and if you choose "username & password" it asks if you want to put in your username or use your thumbprint, and once you put your username & password it emails you a confirmation code, and once you put in the code it says "do you want to give us your phone number for future sign-ins? do you want to sign up for facial recognition? do you want to give us your bones? give us your fucking bones?