A collection of observations from My personal experience in having been involved in both D/s and vanilla relationships or having observed the behavior of others. As a disclaimer, I am in no way ādefiningā right or wrong behavior. All relationships are unique. All Dominants and submissives are different. Your experience(s) and observation(s) may be different from Mine.
Leaves for work in the morningā¦
Vanilla: (Light peck on the cheek) āHave a nice day, Hon.ā
D/s: (Passionate embrace, perhaps even tongue exploring) āMeet you back here at 6pm, Babe!ā
Walking down the sidewalkā¦
Vanilla: Anyoneās guess who takes the curb side.
D/s: Dominant takes the curb; submissive takes the wall. Always!
Walking together anywhereā¦
Vanilla: Maybe hand holdingā¦ but not likely.
D/s: Dominant holds submissiveās hand (with his on top and hers underneath), or places hand in the small of her back or on the nape of her neck. Alternatively, submissive locks arms at the elbow. Or dual arm around waist embrace.
Vanilla: āIāll get around to it.ā
D/s: āIt will be done today.ā
Working though an issueā¦
Vanilla : āWhatās wrong with you?ā
D/s: āHave I made you upset?ā
Deciding where to go for dinnerā¦
Vanilla: āWhere would you like to go?ā
D/s: āWe are going (here) tonight.ā
Having dinner in a restaurantā¦
Vanilla: Your phone has your undivided attention.
D/s: Your partner has your undivided attention.
Clearing the dinner table of stacked dirty dishesā¦
Vanilla: Everyone fends for himself or herself.
D/s: Stacked dishes are heavy. Dominant carries dirty dishes from table to kitchen. Ā
Expressing disappointmentā¦
Vanilla: ā¦ ā¦ ā¦ ā¦ (withdraw with silent treatment).
D/s: āI am unhappy with you and here is why.ā
Vanilla: āYou look nice tonight.ā
D/s: (Grabs her ass and pulls her in close). āYou are so Mine!ā
Vanilla: Parties walk side by side or random determination who leads.
D/s: Dominant walks behind submissive so that He can help her if she trips and stumbles.
Vanilla: Parties walk side by sideĀ or random determination who leads.
D/s: Dominant walks in front of submissive so that she can brace herself on Him if she trips and falls.
Approaching a building doorā¦
Vanilla: Whoever gets there first opens the door.
D/s: submissive waits for Dominant to open all doors. Always!
Entering of exiting a vehicleā¦
Vanilla: Everyone fends for himself or herself
D/s: submissive sits patiently in vehicle and waits for Dominant to exit vehicle and walk around to open her door.
Investment in the relationshipā¦
Vanilla : Both partners give 50-50, at best.Ā More likely it is 75-25.
D/s: Both partners give 100-100; otherwise D/s doesnāt work.
Vanilla : āHoney, can we have sex tonight?ā
D/s: āI want you now. Get undressed and go wait for me. Now!ā
Vanilla: She fakes them half the time.
D/s: She climaxes at Dominantās discretion.
Vanilla: āGood night, Hon.ā (rolls over and goes to sleep)
D/s:Ā āI am so in love with you. Come here; I want to feel you next to me as I sleep.ā
Vanilla: Get out of bed immediately upon waking.
D/s: Take in your partner as they sleep. Plan your day while in bed together.Ā
Accountability for personal behaviorā¦
Vanilla: Little to none, particularly over time.
D/s: An absolutely requisite all the time.
-IADDšŖ (Ā© May 10, 2018)
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