What Are My Parents Hiding From Me?

Also Me: Watches pride and prejudice 2005 ending and cries, Cries while reading Jane Eyre, Heart melts when Anne and Gilbert speak, reads every Jane Austen novel and imagines myself as the protagonist, Cries at the ending of the phantom of the opera chanting my angel of music why, Ends up day dreaming about me ending up with someone like Mr. Darcy, Gilbert Blythe, or  Henry Tilney, heart melts at the reading of shakespeare, ends up getting sad over bronte sister novels

Most sources attribute her death to tuberculosis or cancer, but I think we all know what really happened:

remarkable shit! 🖤 My kind of content.

Me:

Wuthering Heights: The food is as unappealing as the host’s personality. You find yourself fleeing the estate and taking refuge in the surrounding moorlands before the second course is served.

Great Expectations: The host wears a mildewed wedding dress as she cuts what looks to be a thirty-year-old piece of vanilla cake. You sit quietly and try to fake a smile.

Northanger Abbey: You think your host is the type of person who might have murdered his wife and hid her body in a dusty old dresser. As you take a bite of the pot roast it doesn’t even occur to you that he might just be a dick.

Jane Eyre: The fare is far better than the stale bread and bitter tea provided at your boarding school, but that’s little comfort when the host’s wife keeps setting the table linens on fire.

Dracula: You know that you are sipping on a fine Cabernet, but what is he drinking?

Feminist vandals are giving this beach body ad the upgrade it deserves 

like for example my cat always speaks to me when I come home and i meow back to her and she’ll meow again & even though i don’t think twice about it to her it’s probably a situation where it’s like

her, meowing: “im glad you’re home”

me, meowing back: “tax benefits”