sevenyi'

You have never been in a relationship before.

Like ever.

Not even flirted with anyone.

It wasn't the end of the world, yes.

You loved the fact that you were single since birth when you saw all the stuff that people go through when they are dating.

You would always think that you were absolutely not built for it, like at all.

Talking to someone everyday so having to deal with the "have you ate already?" or "I saw a reel of two silly cars that reminded me of us!"

Feeling like you need to look good, the uncertainty that leads to fear or jealousy.

The possibility of falling for a guy that once knows he has you turns out to be the biggest reddit incel to ever exist on this planet.

There is a lot of stuff that made you kind of disgusted by this whole thing.

Yet...

You loved love.

You have been enjoying romances in any form of art and media for the longest time.

When your friends excitingly talk to you about how their boyfriend booked them a trip to Venice or the Bahamas, or they were taken on cute dates at fancy restaurants, you can't help but smile until your cheeks hurt.

And then.

"It must feel good to be loved" you would think.

You thought the way you wanted to be loved, the way you imagined could never happen in real life.

Not with how useless men are at least.

The yearning, the longing, the peace, the good amount of passion and the space one needs to still be able to be themselves.

It sounds more like a Mission Impossible movie than anything else, that's what you thought.

You think a lot. Maybe too much for your own sake.

To you, it had to be perfect otherwise it wouldn't be worth it. Perfection doesn't exist, so you just gave up.

"I'm too young for this anyway" you would tell yourself in middle school.

"Boys are dumb and unfunny" in high school.

You thought that when you moved away from your high school, your city and your state, when you would make new friends and experience college life you would be more open to the idea of dating.

Unfortunately, nothing magically changed.

"I don't want to experience my first heartbreak at 22"

At that point you just gave up.

You thought that you have been an hopeless romantic your whole life, so why would it change now?

── ۶ৎ

A notification from your phone made you snap out of your thoughts. It was from the group chat you and the few friends you made in college created about 3 years ago.

It has been around 20 minutes since you, Mikasa and Annie arrived. You bought cookies while waiting for Hitch and Sasha to come along.

You didn't need to look up to know that they were finally here. Sasha gasped so loudly you would thought she saw the scariest spirit to ever exist. Few heads even turned towards her in the busy cafe full of college students.

Mikasa first invited you and Sasha to try that cafe with her, about two weeks ago. It opened at the beginning of the academic year in the end of August, it was currently October.

You met her first because both of you are roommates ever since your freshman year. You loved her company. She was so calm and collected, and also very thoughtful and way more affectionate that you would thought in the beginning.

Then, you met Sasha and Hitch while working at the library. They were both in front of you, whispering pretty loudly about Love Island. You couldn't focus on what you were doing because of how much you wanted to jump in their conversation.

Hitch noticed and smiled warmly at you before asking for your opinion. As for Annie, you met her in one of the classes you had in common, and started talking to her because you got paired up for a group project.

"So much happened in like few hours I can't wait to get my coffee and tell you girls about it!" She exclaims, a smile taking half of her face as she sits in front of you next to Annie and Mikasa while Hitch sits next to you.

It was almost a ritual. Gossiping once every few days around something to eat or drink. Of course your discussions didn't solely revolved around that, but it was fun to be noisy.

"Niccolo told us that Bertholdt was throwing a party at his place!" Hitch says with even more energy than Sasha, holding into your hand unconsciously. Not unusual for her.

"He what?" Annie raises an eyebrow, disgust running all over her face.

Fair enough, Bertholdt was her ex, they broke up in May after about a year and a half of relationship. He has been nonstop sending her texts and calling her ever since. She's the one who broke up. She said that it was because she didn't felt like they were really made for each other in anyway.

Sasha nods vigorously, turning towards Annie. "He told us that he saw his instagram story, it was something like "I'm throwing a party tonight and my ex BETTER be there", it's so ridiculous!"

That caused a slight laugh out of all of you.

"Does he really think achieving anything like that?" Mikasa responds, a hand in front of her mouth.

"He really ain't shit it's truly amazing to me" You say, shaking your head.

"Right! After he said OUR beloved Annie was a "cold hearted bitch" then begging her like a dog to take him back, like please..." Hitch turns towards you, her whole body seeming to agree with what you just said.

"He's pathetic." Annie simply says. She has never been a woman of words, but her facial expressions did spoke for her a lot.

"I'm sure no one would go anyway." You shrug as you bit into your salted caramel cookie.

"Well..." Hitch starts, sighing.

"There's basically like everyone going there." Sasha finishes her tone full of disbelief.

"It's probably because of the fact that he's rich and lives just outside of the campus. He has a pool too, that helps." Mikasa tilts her head, looking around as speaking.

"What do you girls think of going there too...?" The heads of Mikasa, Annie and you slowly turn towards Hitch, silence settling in.

"Hear her out-" Sasha starts.

"Hell no. I'd prefer drowning in a dirty lake full of crocodiles over stepping a singular toe in his fucking place." Annie cuts her off.

"But look! If we go, you could beat his ass like you kept telling us you're dying to since May! Plus, we'll see Ymir and Historia. Even Yelena will show up!" Hitch responds as quick as she could, knowing that Annie's patience was smaller than an ant.

Annie shakes her head and crosses her arms before Sasha gently places her hand on Annie's shoulder. "Or...We could just ignore him and take advantage of the fact that there would be a lot of people. He has a crazy place, imagine partying there!" Sasha continues, her tone gentle trying to coax Annie into accepting.

A beat passes before Annie exhales loudly. "You got it" she simply says, barely finishing her sentence as Hitch and Sasha were already celebrating.

"I haven't been to any party since so long I felt like dying inside." Hitch lets herself fall back onto her chair.

"Y/n, Mikasa, you know you're both coming too, right?" Sasha's eyes move quickly between the two of you, knowing that you both are the biggest introverts ever.

Mikasa quietly nods, chuckling. "I think, Armin will be there, surely dragged by Jean and Connie. I haven't got the chance to see him these past few weeks so...Yeah." She quietly responds.

Sasha smiles widely before expectantly turning her eyes to you.

You hated to thought of parties. You always got away with not going, thankfully your friends are not forceful. You genuinely could not think of anything positive about it. It has crowds, loud sounds, it's must be hot and it must stink too.

Sometimes it was appealing, like it is still kind of a part of the "college life", but most of the times it wasn't.

You looked out the window, trying to think of some excuse. Usually, you would just say "I don't want to", but you felt like this time they really wanted you to tag along.

"Uh...I need to...study?" That came out horrible. It was the first time you saw Sasha that confused.

"You couldn't find anything better?"

Annie snorts, lazily rolling her eyes towards you.

You could hear Mikasa and Hitch laughing softly as you look down at your hands on the table, disappointed in yourself.

"At least come with us, stay with me and as soon as you're tired we'll get back to our dorm." Mikasa says, giving you an understanding look.

"Thank God you exist." You say in an exaggerated dramatic tone, shaking your head at your own embarrassment.

You all finish your discussion before heading out of the coffee shop.

Hitch planned to meet at the entry of the college campus at around 10pm, and told specifically to you and Annie to "dress to impress" just for this one time.

Once back in your dorm with Mikasa you sigh with all the air in stocked in your chest. "What would you even put for dressing to impress...?" You whispered to yourself, looking at your clothes with nothing but despair.

About an hour and a half passed. You found a pretty cute and simple black dress with low heels, the same color. You had simply put your braids into a ponytail. They were long, falling down your back.

You really liked how pretty you felt.

But that dress was uncomfortable as hell.

Mikasa kept complimenting you, and even insisted on wanting the two of you to take a picture together with her polaroid. She told you she wanted to stick it in her journal as a souvenir.

At 10pm, you met back with Sasha, Hitch and Annie. You looked and your friends, sincerely looked and thought they were really pretty, and all in their own different ways.

── ۶ৎ

It was a ten minutes walk that turned out to be pretty quick as Hitch and Sasha kept joking around about how Bertholdt would faint or scream if he sees Annie.

It was easy to figure out which house was hosting a party. Bertholdt's house genuinely looked like a fraternity one. It was massive, and so many people were around it.

Some were smoking, others laughing, you even saw people making out which made you wonder how would one be so comfortable to do it in public, outside on top of that.

The music was blasting. It was a 2010s r&b song, pretty cliché but not surprising knowing how annoyingly cheesy Bertholdt was. Hitch was in front of the group, her hand holding Annie's. Sasha had her arms around both yours and Mikasa's.

Inside wasn't much better. The song was even louder, people were singing and dancing along. Some were doing drinking games. You could see from where you were people jumping into the pool that looked as colossal as this house.

This is probably why it felt less packed than you thought it would be.

In the big space you assumed was the living room the DJ was surrounded by people filming and, once again, dancing.

It smelt like a mix of humidity and alcohol, pretty overwhelming.

"Marlo's here, in the kitchen!" Hitch suddenly says, dragging Annie along and turning towards You, Mikasa and Sasha behind her. "Come on, let's go, there's less people there anyway!"

Sasha nods as she drags both Mikasa and you as well.

Marlo was the guy Hitch was dating. They aren't actually in a relationship, but it was almost like it. She stops in front of him but you couldn't hear any of their conversation as Sasha pulls you further away.

Around the counter of the kitchen was Connie, basically the guy version of Sasha, Jean, a friend of them both which has a huge crush on Mikasa from what Sasha told you, Armin, a friend of Mikasa that seemed pretty nice and finally another guy you knew you saw before but totally forgot his name.

"Connie!" Sasha literally yells, all three of you standing in front of the group of guys that just stopped talking to turn and look at you.

The bald headed guy flashes a huge grin at her as soon as his eyes meet hers. "How's it going? You came with your friends today!" He chuckled before waving at both you and Mikasa.

He seemed fun too.

When you turn to look at Mikasa she was already talking with Armin. It was pretty funny seeing the contrast between her and her friend. She was a total goth while he clearly looked like the stereotypical nerd in 2000s American high school movies.

They looked like they belonged in Mean Girls if you were being honest.

You could see Jean discreetly drifting towards them, probably to babble some pick up lines to Mikasa. You have talked to him few times before. He was actually very kind and considerate, but also very shy when the topic was Mikasa.

Connie and Sasha were talking your eyes off. They were both really energetic but also funny so it made you want to listen to them more.

The only guy left was the one whose name you couldn't remember. He was taller than Connie, so obviously taller than you. He had greenish eyes and long brown hair tied up in a messy kind of man bun.

He looked pissed for whatever reason. Maybe he didn't want to be here?

*ligne*

After about twenty minutes Sasha asked if you wanted to go dance with her and Connie. When you declined she nodded and told you to text in the group if you needed anything, also that she wouldn't be long.

You didn't mind staying alone for a moment. Plus, Hitch, Annie and Mikasa weren't far.

Ever since Connie and Sasha left the brown haired guy had left. You saw him climb up the stairs not far from the kitchen.

Well.

You leaned against the sink, tilting your head up and closing your eyes.

You do start to feel overwhelmed. You felt hot, the dress was pissing you off and your head hurt because of how loud, even here in the kitchen, the music was.

You poured yourself a drink from the counter in front of you. It was grape juice. You knew it was probably to mix it with alcohols but you couldn't care less.

You walked over to Annie, Marlo and Hitch and tapped Annie shoulder. When she turned around and leaned it you asked her where was the bathroom. She told you that the closest one was upstairs, pointing at the stairs you saw that guy walking up.

She insisted on going with you but you told her it would be quick.

You climbed up the stairs and looked around. There were few people here and there but it was pretty empty.

You walk around in the hallway. There is way too much doors it made your head hurt even more.

You looked behind you while walking as you heard people gasping, turns out it was just someone puking.

Yet, as soon as you turned back you hit someone so hard you both fall on the floor.

"I'm so sorry!" You immediately say without even looking at them yet, picking up your cup and yourself up.

As soon as you see the person getting back up on their feet you stopped moving.

It was that guy, yeah. But what was worse than that? The fact that all of your grape juice splashed on his white t-shirt. And you see him looking down at himself, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

"Bro, what the fuck..." He murmurs, almost like that was his last straw. "Can't you fucking look where you going?"

You frown as soon as you hear his words. Okay you bumped onto him, yes your drink splashed on his shirt but did he need to speak like that?

"Uh okay, rude?" You trail off. "I already said sorry, no need to say all that-"

"I don't care though. My shirt looks like a fucking modern art painting because of you not looking where you're going." He cuts you right off, his tone could not have been more condescending.

"Well I'll let you know that if YOU were looking in front of you too we wouldn't have bumped into each other." You respond, scoffing.

You could see him shaking his head. "Oh so now it's MY fault, huh?"

"I didn't said that-"

"Yes, you did."

"Okay, fuck off."

You crash the plastic cup and throws it at his face, bumping his shoulder while walking past him.

Why was he even here if it was to act like that? Who even is he? You couldn't believe how mad he got you in a few seconds.

His expressions, his words, his eyes full of disdain...

You wanted to slap the shit out of him.

You didn't even hear what he yelled back, your ears were buzzing, even your body doesn't want to deal with him.

Once you found the bathroom you locked yourself in it and directly opened the group chat.

So his name is Eren. You did make sure to remember that.

──────────────────────

You couldn't know why you were so intrigued by him.

Was he really that interesting for your brain to totally turn off and focus on anything but him whenever he was talking to you?

Was it how softly his hair would sway in the wind?

Or is it because he doesn't tie it anymore ever since you told him you liked his hair untied more?

Was it how mellow and personal his voice sounded?

Or is it because yours is as silent as the sound of snow falling down and he wanted to match you to hear you more?

Was it the way his sharp yet profound eyes were when he looked at you for more than a few seconds?

Or is it because he knew you were too shy to look at him in the eyes for too long so he wanted to make your few eye contacts worth it for you?

Days past, weeks, months even.

He is the first and only person you socialized with ever since...

You know what.

Speaking of it, you came to talk about that night.

"I understand now," he said to you. It didn't sound like pity or mockery, just like compassion really.

"I'm sorry. I know there isn't any word that could soothe the ache that you're feeling, but I'm glad you didn't do it," he continued, absently toying with the trinket you gave him.

"I'm glad I'm talking to you, I'm glad you're letting me in, getting to know you, even if it's little by little. I love spending time with you, and I hope you know you can talk to be whenever you feel like. Hell, you can knock at my door at 5am I would still open up just for you."

Then a silence set in. It was a solemn silence. You smiled, warm tears rolling down your cheeks as you tried to hide your face by turning around.

"Thanks..." you whispered, you throat tight as you try to fight back loud and embarrassing sobs.

He was the only person you felt at ease with. It's like you could reconnect with yourself through and thanks to him.

You had more motivation to live. You cleaned your place more often. You still procrastinated but started to slowly pick back up on your old hobbies. You tried to cook more often, especially the chanpurū your mother used to make you.

You started to hang out together.

You would go try the new tea shop that opened five minutes away from your residence, and make reviews on each tea you drank.

You would go to the movies and try to hide yourself bawling your eyes out because of the tragic ending of a cliché romance movie knowing he was silently laughing at you.

You would go to an amusement park near halloween and visit an hunted house, each and everything making you flinch and clutch to him as he wasn't fazed by any of the screamers.

(He actually was, he just wanted to look fearless in front of you)

Then, when he was in class and you bored you would hang out by yourself, petting cats along your way which would make you forget why you were out anyway.

He would come at your place sometimes, and the two of you would watch cheap variety shows, bitching on some of the participants because they would piss you off.

You would knock at his door as well, and you two would sit on the floor eating snacks while discussing clinical psychology theories.

At times he would even come at the convenience store you worked at during your shift, slumped on the counter, drowsing with eyes not fully closed on you, a dumb smile drown on his lips.

When he went to Okinawa for a 3 days trip with his friends he sent you videos of the beautiful teal water, the beautiful colored houses or plates of the food he ate. In one video you could hear him say "One day I'll take you here with me," and a white haired guy mimicking throwing up right after.

He offered you a bracelet with both of your mom's and your name graved in small stones attached to it.

You cried so much when he gave it to you, happy tears for once.

In December nights, when the sky and the ground were both in between grey and white, when you would walk around Shinjuku, neon lights illuminating the streets, he would gently take your hand in his and shove it in his pockets, flashing you a playful smile as your hand felt as appreciated as your heart.

One saturday evening in June, your day off, you told him you wanted to do a photo booth since it's been so long you ever done any.

You had a cat ears headband as he had the ugliest rainbow glasses as props. You would laugh anytime you were taking a look at his face and how funny he looked.

You two sat pretty close, it wasn't as uncomfortable as it would have been few months before. It wasn't uncomfortable at all truly, it just felt natural.

Both of you got surprised as the first flash suddenly lightened the small white room, then quickly got in positions. Silly ones of course.

In the euphoria of the moment you slid your arm around his shoulders, sticking your tongue out a making a peace sign with your free hand. He tilted his head towards your shoulder, copying your peace sign and grinning fully.

Then, you imitated a cat's whiskers while he lifted his glasses just enough for his wink to be visible.

Another pose.

Then another one.

You didn't know what to do for this one. He slowly turns his head towards yours.

"Out of poses already?" He snickered, nudging you lightly.

"Find one then!" You retorted, rolling your eyes at him.

A quick silence passes, the countdown from the machine finally audible.

"Come here," he simply said, candied voice.

While you were facing him his hand was already on your jaw, way light enough to let you pull back if you felt like it.

You didn't.

He leaned it, sweet smirk still played on his lips. It was so slow you felt like time had stopped.

Your heart did, that's for sure.

He inclined his head slightly, his noice brushing yours, his forehead caressing yours.

You felt goosebumps all over your body, you were torn between shying away or leaning in and devouring him.

His lips tenderly met yours, his hand now on your cheek.

*Clik*

He pulled away, his eyes filled with that same deepest feeling they always had.

"That's probably the photo booth of the century," he giggles as if in a dazed state. "Was it okay?" he quickly asked cupping your face as if he caught his selfish self slip out before he could stop it.

"Yeah, it is..." you smile back, your voice dying in your throat. "But now you have my lipstick on your lips," you said while reaching out for a napkin in your purse.

"We're matching, doesn't bother me," he grumbled while you were already wiping his lips.

You could feel your heart beating so hard you thought you would die right on the spot.

The pictures prints out, two copies of it, as he takes one and you take the other.

The night went one like a fever dream. You found a restaurant to eat, then did a karaoke where you screamed on top of your lungs every single lyrics of "Breakin' dishes" by Rihanna. You walked around a lot before going back to your place.

Before entering your apartment you hesitated for at least thirty seconds before giving him a quick kiss on the cheek and rushing inside, this time shying away.

It was like the best day ever.

Thanks to him.

Thanks to your mom too. You were sure she was the one who sent him in your path.

As you took off your shoes and walked in, you felt your phone buzzing in your bag.

You turned it on just to see a notification from Suguru.

"- Do that more often

- Please?"

You bit back a smile, stomach transforming into a factory of butterflies, feeling like a whole teenager.

"-We'll see about that"

You typed, fingers still hovering your phone. You could see him typing too.

"- I liked it today

- I kinda like every day I get to see you honestly

- Thanks :)"

You wanted to hug your phone, and him too. You didn't really know how to correctly express yourself with words, but you still responded.

"- Thanks to you Suguru

- I feel like myself again because of you

- Don't get too cocky now"

Your cheeks hurt because of how much you smiled.

It's been so long since you felt this good.

And he typed back.

"- Too late

- I'm printing it and gluing it everywhere I can"

You hoped your mother would've been here to tease you about him. To giggle whenever she would see you smile in front of your screen or saying his name randomly just to get a reaction out of you.

It was just like it, still, and it made you smile.

The next day, he came at your place and you cooked chanpurū, following your mother's recipe once again.

You could see whenever he picked up his phone the photo booth pictures in his phone case, it made you nod to yourself.

You liked him, and he liked you just as much.

──────────────────────

𝜗𝜚 • a/n: last part of this first fic on tumblr, i didn't really know how to write it if i'm being fr, i wanted to really go deep into the loss, the depressive episodes and all but i was so scared it would've turned boring, long or too dark maybe? so i just sticked to the fluff thing anyway, thank you so much for reading, ilysmmmm <333

It's been about three hours now since Geto took you to his apartment to help him with his essay, and accessorily eat the chocolate cake you bought.

Your manager at the convenience store sent you a text telling you that the store was exceptionally closed for the night, and as you weren't tired you figured it shouldn't kill you to help him a little bit.

Both of your are now sat at his desk in front of his computer next to each other.

As he's writing a paragraph you start to look around, something you were too scared to do when you came in earlier.

His room, just like his place, was neat and pretty simple. It was smelling as good as him and the colors here revolved around white, navy blue and some purple as well.

Above you on the wall right in front of you screwed there was a shelf full of psychology books.

Next to you were other shelves stacked one on top of the other, full of vinyls.

He clearly looks like the type of guy to have vinyls.

You squint your eyes to try and read the name on one of them, finding the cover pretty.

Obviously you would not ask him, you are way too scared to and he looked focused on the thesis he was writing.

He seems to notice it, seeming like reading you like an opened book.

"Sade. It's a jazz group and the name of the singer, the one on the cover. It would be so great to have all of their vinyls..." he trails off, absently looking down at the shelves.

"Sade?" You look back up at him. You didn't know her or her group. As pretty as she looks you would've remembered if you've ever seen her before.

"Yeah, she has probably one of the prettiest voice I heard. You should check it out," he tilts his head, smiling at you before sighing silently.

You knew he was sighing because of the essay. Your eyes go down to the computer screen. You read some of it before your hands hover the keyboard absently.

"Can I...?" You ask, whispering. "Yeah, go ahead," he nods enthusiastically.

You reorganized his paragraph, murmuring slight things like "You should put it here" or "Emphasize that."

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗ GETO'S POV

She looks like the prettiest work of art in the prettiest museum to ever exist.

When I saw her for the first time on the building's roof I didn't noticed it.

Yeah, she was about to kill herself dumbass.

I'm not asking her about it even though I'm worried, it's best if I let her talk to me about it whenever she feels like it if she ever does, right?

It's when I saw her again in the elevator that it hit me.

Her eyes full of surprised, her smooth parted lips, her pretty dark hair and her brownish glasses.

I almost dropped to my knees if I'm being honest.

Outside of the physical part of her beauty she radiates such a deep and whimsical thing, it would make your breath hitch in a gasp.

Seeing her was like watching a warm, orange sunset spread in the infinity of the endless sky on a friday evening. It was like feeling a soft breeze during a hot spring day. It was like smelling vanilla while baking cookies because you'd put way too much vanilla extract in it.

Yet she also had this heavy emptiness hovering around her, like it was cutting her off people.

She is melancholically pretty, like the beach in winter. Or like a coming of age movie.

Don't let me start on her voice.

It sounds just like the sweetest thing you could ever hear.

It's hesitant at first, then sometimes she gains confidence when she speaks without paying attention to her thoughts.

She even made jokes to me.

Her laugh almost made me pull her into my arms and squeeze her so hard.

It's like these kitten videos where you get cuteness aggression.

It's the first time I've ever felt like that towards anyone.

I don't even know if it's a crush, just attraction, or a straight love at first sight.

I don't even know if I believe in that.

I could definitely if she was involved...

I feel so pathetic.

I think about her all the time. The elevator, the rat in her place, the laundry, her at my door with a cake and a trinket, it seems like she just doesn't get out of my head.

I find myself daydreaming about her all the time, whether I'm with Satoru, Kento, Shoko and Utahime.

Whether I'm studying.

Whether I'm in class.

Whether I'm eating or walking around the neighborhood.

Whether I'm listening to love songs.

All the time.

I'll never say it to her though. She would probably picture me as the creepiest, most obsessive man ever...

I just like everything about her.

Her shy smile, her sweet gaze, her nose rictus, her pretty hands with freckles barely visible on the back of it, her slight stuttering when she speaks more than two sentences as if she wasn't sure of what she was saying anymore.

I like how sometimes she blinks a lot in a short spawn of time, I like how she talks about things she loves like bakery for example. It's like she's not in her body anymore, like she forgets everything else, you know?

I haven't spoken about it to anybody except Satoru.

"Yeah, it's over for you man. You talk about her like I talk about mochis."

What the hell does that even mean?

Anyway...

I couldn't say what it is, but I love being around her.

I don't really need anything else, just her.

It felt good, really good.

That's why I exaggerated on how I was struggling on my essay. Of course I could write one.

Plus, differential psychology is just annoying sometimes, not as hard as I made it seem for me.

I'm happy that I did that. Now she's sitting next to me, writing and mumbling.

Yeah, just her.

Only her.

──────────────────────

Two days have passed since the rat accident, and you are still debating on if you should give him something or not.

You actually bought a chocolate cake at the bakery down the street, it's been in your fridge since then.

You also finished a trinket. It was made with prettily arranged cute purple pearls. He reminded you of that color but you couldn't know why truly.

Overthinking was really going to be the end of you. It has been thirty minutes since you've been pacing in your apartment.

"Should I give him?"

"What if he finds it weird, or corny?"

"Maybe he hates purple...and chocolate too"

"Is it too much?"

"That's not a good idea at ALL"

It was like a crowd of people arguing in your head against the will of your heart.

"Maybe I should focus on what I feel like doing and not what and not what I should or not do?"

That thought alone really surprised you. You never thought like that before.

It sounds just like an advice that would come straight out of your mother's mouth.

It made you painfully smile for a moment.

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

About an hour before you needed to leave for your shift you worked up the courage to go at his door with the cake and the trinket you made.

Knocking was a whole different story.

Five minutes passed, ten now, you could not move. You barely dared breathing.

It was like you brain just simply gave up, and you are way too scared to act on your feelings, even though you thought you probably should.

You tilt your head, frowning a confused expression at your own character. Your anxiety was almost comic to you. It was literally straight nonsense.

You were about to turn around and put back your stuff, his gifts, in your place before the door in front of you suddenly opens, Geto, surprised, appearing at his doorway.

A beat passes, then another one and you genuinely thought your heart felt to your feet.

What did you even looked like in this setting?

An obsessive neighbor?

"I... It's uh... I thought, you know... well..." you stutter, panicking as each half of words got out of your mouth.

He was still looking at you, silent. His head was slightly tilted like he was trying to form a sentence out of your words in his head.

That wasn't helping.

You sigh, disappointed in yourself for not even being able to speak like a normal person, before placing down on the floor the box with the cake in it and your trinket on top of it.

"For the rat," you say with a voice so quiet it was almost a murmur.

You then practically ran back to your apartment, slamming the door shut behind you. You fall into your bed, hands once again covering your face.

"Why's life so hard, seriously?"

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

After your shift ended you were slowly walking back to your place, sipping on your favorite vanilla milk brick while admiring the already living streets.

Teenagers joking around and waiting for their buses, people as drunk as one could be, snoring loudly as they were sat down or laid down on the sidewalk, or people running to not miss their subway.

Everyone was just living their lives, and it's like you're spectating it without living yours.

How could you even think about living it without her there...?

You shook your head, not wanting to cry right now.

About fifteen minutes passed as you arrived at your building. You take the elevator and stop at your floor, the seventh.

You quickly walk along the hallway, hating the idea of people being bothered by any sound you would make passing by.

As you arrived at your door you stop in your track because of two things.

One, when you look at the floor in front of Geto's door there's either cake or trinket anymore.

Did he took it?

Or maybe someone else did?

Two, there was a yellow sticky note glued on your door. You take it off, frowning, while entering your apartment and closing the door behind you.

"For [𝜗𝜚]

I took in the cake and the trinket. I don't know if you made the trinket but it looks very pretty, and purple is my favorite color :) For the cake I want to eat it with you as you bought it. Knock on my door anytime.

ps: you should speak more, you have a beautiful voice."

He liked it!

He liked your trinket!

It made your heart warm for few seconds before reading it again, and again, and once more.

He invited you over?

And he said that you've got a pretty voice?

"Why is he lying for...?" You thought out loud.

It was surely only out of courtesy, he definitely looked like that type of guy.

How did he even got your name?

You read the note once more before folding it and placing it on your desk.

There was NO way you would have the courage to go knock at his door, especially to eat the cake you bought for him in his place.

ᯓ★ˎˊ˗

Later that day, after you woke up and barely ate an apple you gathered your dirty clothes in a bag and slept into your slippers.

It's been a week since your washing machine didn't work for whatever reason.

As anxious and an active hater of social interactions as you are obviously you would rather go to the laundry than ask for any help.

At least you had a laundry in your building, might as well use it.

After getting out of your apartment and waited for the elevator you click on the "-1" button, it is the laundry.

Once there, you took for about ten minutes to figure out how to use the machines.

You needed to slide in a small money container 500¥ to wash you clothes and then 100¥ for the washing machine to rinse them and wring them out.

As you did the little screen on the machine indicted an hour and nineteen minutes.

You looked around, standing for a minute or two before finally sitting down on the small bench facing the washing machines on your side.

You crossed your legs and arms, leaning against the lockers behind you.

You have never seen lockers in a laundry. Maybe it made sense?

Twenty minutes passed. You were lost in your thoughts but couldn't put a finger on what you were even thinking about.

As you swayed your head back slightly, humming a song which you didn't know the title to you hear the door handle moving.

You suddenly sit straight up, not knowing what to do with yourself.

Of course, it was none other than Geto.

"What a lucky girl you are..." you think, sarcastically of course.

" [𝜗𝜚]." He smiles softly as he looks down at you.

He knew your name?

"Someone in the building must have told him..."

Words lost at the bottom of your throat you simply give him the most hesitant half smile ever.

You immediately look back up at your washing machine, your fingers gripping tightly the fabric of your hoodie.

You could feel your heart racing as if you just ran an 500km marathon.

He makes his way to the washing machine right next to yours, places his coin in and turn the machine on.

He then turns around and sits next to you, like in the elevator last time, not too close, not looking at you.

Yet there was so much washing machines all around the room you couldn't understand why would he choose the one right next to yours.

You barely could see him getting his phone out of the pocket of his navy blue sweatpants.

Then you heard it.

The trinket.

It made your eyes turn towards it before your brain could even register anything.

He tied your trinket to his phone case.

"That means he likes it, right?" You think, immediately looking back up at your washing machine, catching yourself eyes glued to his phone.

You both sat in silence for few minutes, your fingers still gripping as tightly your hoodie and his still typing on his phone.

He then turns off his phone and breathes out slightly before turning his head towards you.

"I wrote it but I need to say it to you as well. Thanks again for the gifts, you really didn't have to," he says, his voice serene, pretty.

You look back up at him for a second which felt like an hour to you before courtly nodding.

"He really has a beautiful voice"

"And beautiful eyes"

"And a pretty smile too"

The voices in your head seem to agree on that.

You then hear him sighs loudly, leaning against the lockers as he runs a hand on his face.

"Man..." he murmurs, looking up at the ceiling.

He seemed preoccupied by something.

"Is it because of me? I'd be pissed off too. Not even able to make a conversation with me because I can't even speak properly..."

Your thought was about to keep going.

"I'm not sighing because of you by the way," he cuts you right off, just like he was reading your mind again.

"It's just this stupid essay I have to submit in three days... I didn't even finish my introduction." He continues, closing his eyes.

So he was going to college.

You cleared your throat, few seconds passed, you exhale.

"...What's your major?" you silently asked, still not looking at him though.

His head slowly turns back to you. You look up at him automatically. He looks surprised you asked him anything. Obviously you looked back up at your washing machine.

"Psychology," he responds, his smile audible. "Very interesting but pretty damn hard honestly," he chuckles.

You nod, thoughtful on your words, replaying your sentence over and over again before saying it.

"Before I dropped out I was in that major too," you say, still as quietly.

He sits straight up, turning his body to face yours.

"Really? At what year did you dropped off?" He enthusiastically asks, looking happy to finally have a conversation with you.

You breathe noiseless.

"Uh...Fourth? In the middle of it. It was in November, last year," you say, looking down at your feet. It didn't felt really great to say it out loud to anyone.

It only felt natural on top of your mother's grave.

A silence install itself for about a minute.

"Fourth? So you're twenty two years old?" he asks curiously his voice still as calm.

You're snatched out of your head by his question.

"Yeah," you whisper, or not totally but not far from it.

"You're older than me by a year," he snickers lightly. "I was so sure to be older than you."

You turn your head towards him, arching an eyebrow as you look up at him.

He laughs lightheartedly, shaking his head. "Sorry," he barely words.

He had a beautiful laugh too.

And he wasn't wrong. You also thought he was older than you.

"That means you're...twenty one?" You continue as his laugh dies slowly.

"Yeah, turning twenty two in three months," he responds that smile never leaving his face.

You nod, yet you felt like your lungs were getting closer and closer inside your ribcage. You were making an interaction with someone that wasn't a customer.

That's revolutionary.

For few minutes he kept asking you question on your college life. You found out you were both in the same college; the University of Tokyo. You also shared the same hatred for the same teachers that would give essays almost every time they had the occasion to.

He really was curious about all of that, yet it wasn't that interesting to you. However, it felt really great to finally speak and be able to laugh with someone.

It really helped that he was pretty mature and emotionally intelligent enough to understand how anxious you were about conversations. Men are not all blessed with the ability to use their brain, especially not the ones that just entered their twenties.

"You know what? I think you should help me for my essay," he starts, extending his crossed legs before him. "Then we could eat the cake you offered me."

You give him a surprised look. "Me? Helping you?"

"Mhm, to get a 85/100 with Mr. Yoshida you must be an ace at differential psychology..." his voice lingers lowly. "Please?"

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