do you ever talk to someone and literally everything they say is so fucking adorable and you just wanna talk to them for hours about nothing in particular because talking to them is the best part of your day 

being a girl is really fucking expensive

hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR YOUR DATES

hahahahhhAHAHAHAHhahahahahhahahah WHO IS PAYING FOR OUR TAMPONS, PADS, ULTRA SOUNDS, PAP SMEARS, OB/GYN VISITS, BRAS, CLOTHES, MAKE UP, HAIR PRODUCTS TO GO ON DATES WITH FUCKERS LIKE YOU?

"Headline?" "Swing Set Needs Home," I said. "Desperately Lonely Swing Set Needs Loving Home," he said. "Lonely, Vaguely Pedophilic Swing Set Seeks the Butts of Children" I said. He laughed. "That’s why." "What?" "That’s why I like you. Do you realize how rare it is to come across a hot girl who creates an adjectival verson of the word pedophile?