In the dark times,
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Yes, there will also be singing.
About the dark times.
Bertolt Brecht, Svendborg, 1938
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@glauconaryue
In the dark times,
Will there also be singing?
Yes, there will also be singing.
About the dark times.
Bertolt Brecht, Svendborg, 1938

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trying to explain why i like horror to people who don’t: ok so you know how it’s fun to be deeply disturbed and unsettled
Okay I need to know everyone's favourite songs but the songs you like because of the lyrics specifically.
I've been loving Ethel Cains lyrics and lingua ignotas lyrics
Absolutely yes to those two. Also Black Dresses and Einstürzende Neubauten.
What is your opinion on throbbing gristle?
I am a trans industrial musician, I would not exist without them. Hamburger Lady freaked me out as a kid, and I wanted to make something as fucked-up as that, or something has heavy as Discipline. I own a lot of their records on vinyl. Without them I'd have no blueprint to do what I do.
My reaction to the inevitable comments. Genesis treated cosey (another idol of mine as a former SWer) like shit. I find cults weird and gross. Genesis was human. Humans can do shitty things, and still be absolutely trailblazers and inspirational in other ways. You can hold both opinions at once.
I think with transfemmes, it is even more important. I don't think Genesis being nasty to Cosey is enough to eradicate their contribution to music, especially to transfemmes. It is a known aspect of transmisogyny that trans women (and NB femmes like genesis) are punished far more severely for wrongdoing than cis men and women (and yes, transmascs) for identical behaviour. If we were to persona non gratae Genesis after their death for, say, dropping bricks on Cosey or the weird cult stuff - then we should be absolutely consistent. This likely mean we'd have very little art, philosophy, music and historical figures left as 'unproblematic'.
Finally, one of the worst parts of having an audience as a trans woman is the demand that I be perfect. I must pass. I must be attractive. I must be morally perfect. I must never have a meltdown. I must never have a crash out that might hurt somebody. Obviously these pressures to be perfect in front of the transmisogynistic panopticon stack up. It is why trans women who don't come from money, who mostly are highly traumatised and neurodivegent crash out, quit and un-quit and re-quit their bands, get into pointless fights, say problematic shit and take it back seconds later... the entire impossible expectation of perfection in front of an audience that WILL read you in the most paranoid fashion possible is frankly traumatic. The 70s-00s when Genesis was active would of been even worse. Of course, I am expected to clarify "this does not excuse awful behaviour". Y'know what, sometimes it does. Yes, transmisogyny can make you so fucking insane, paranoid and dysregulated it can lead to violent acting out. I think while this behaviour is wrong, it can be sometimes excused. I'd say the same for disabled people and especially black folk too. Minority stress can be equivalent to psychosis. Does this apply to Genesis? i don't know. Only they did. Its an ambiguity autistic and black-and-white minds like mine don't tolerate well. What is sad is before Genesis died, she didn't admit or do any accountability for how she treated Cosey. This sucks. But, if she did, would it of improved her life while battling cancer? Likely not, instead the negative press would of been used as ammo for the then-nascent anti-trans culture war in the UK. There is very little incentive for us to improve, we're going to be called groomer demons anyway.
We need to make spaces for transfemmes to be given second chances. We're going to act out. We can't pretend that sheer willpower and ethical consistency will be enough. We're going to crash out, hurt people and believe stupid shit. We should not tolerate or ignore the behaviour, but create safe spaces where somebody can go "yeah, I was an abusive piece of shit" without threat of social murder and community help actually improving behaviour. Obviously, some will exploit this. But the demand for perfection - or even to act as sane as a cis person - is far more exploitative. Those who can fake being perfect can get away with all kinds of terrible abuse. So yeah, Genesis P-Orridge was a hero of mine, so is Cosey - who survived some unambiguously abusive behaviour from Genesis (I believe Cosey's account). I wish there was a world where Genesis had felt safe enough going "Yeah, I was awful, I'll do better" without threat of social murder. I understand why she didn't. I also understand Cosey's anger, vulnerability and disappointment. Because I have done shit too, and been the victim of shit happening to me. I've crashed out at friends and partners and said awful shit, kicked holes in walls, made awful threats. I've been at the receiving end of all this and far worse. Please don't expect perfection from me. Nor any other doll. I lack the sanity to be a role model. Even if my heart is in the right place, my actions may follow my amygdala, my trauma rather than my genuine ethical beliefs. The same applies to you. Expect humanity, and give compassion. Demand accountability, but don't expect accountability without a safe space and culture to do it. Believe survivors, but also believe in the capacity for the cycle of abuse to end. Above all, believe the terrible systems behind individual acts of awful can be changed. Obviously some people are irredeemably awful and hide behind the above rhetoric to avoid accountability. I know some who have a LOT of accountability to do to ever be welcomed back in their local queer communities (not talking about cishets, different story - especially cis men). But notedly among queers, this is often rare. Usually it's just an endless of loop of hurt people hurting people. -- Imperfection is the condition for the possibility of existence.
If you demand that somebody be perfect, you risk killing them.
One of my hottest transfeminist takes that I have is regarding drag and ballroom actually. Read the whole thing in depth instead of skimming it then getting mad at me.
I think that the US transfemme desire to disown drag/ballroom is a symptom of both white culture’s destruction of ancestral ties and the importance of cultural continuity, and of the predominantly white ignorance of it as a gentrified Black art form similar to how whites treat other Black art. They want a destruction of it because they see the effects and results of the gentrified version and assume that’s all there is/was.
In particular it’s frustrating because while some drag queens are cis, a lot are trans women, non-binary, or otherwise transmisogynized and drag/ballroom and the tipping culture associated with it existed in part because the transmisogynized are so fucking unemployable and it provided/s a method beyond mutual aid for the redistribution of money, through the labor of performance.
In relation to trans women, I view drag queens as a pathway to transness similar to crossdressers, femboys, (unfortunately) sissies, and similar - where although the perception of them currently may cause harm to the perception of trans women at large due to the ways they compromise with predominantly white cishetero society to allow transfemmes to explore their gender, they are, in fact, still functionally people within the spectrum of transfemininity even if they haven’t fully accepted their gender expansiveness for themselves. Harm they cause to the perception of transfemmes does not lessen them from that societal assignment, any less than we can say Caitlyn Jenner, Blair White, or Kelly Cadigan are less trans women because of the harm they’ve done to the perception of trans women. They are all, in effect, varying levels of transmisogynized whether they realize it or not.
When I was in DC I knew a lot of drag kings/queens and literally 95% of them are trans and either came to drag/ballroom as a way to explore their gender through art and/or make money bc poor, or started it and it was a gateway to unlocking their gender. Not counting the cis performers elevated by stuff like RuPaul, who is explicitly transphobic, I think I can count on my hands how many cis performers I’ve met. Hell, even with RuPaul shit a number of drag artists who have been on his shows later come out as trans (such as Bosco, who I literally grew up with), in part because they suppressed their transness publicly to maintain their career until they reached a point the blowback of coming out wound impact them less. Pulling a F1NNSTER to keep cash flowing for survival, if you will.
Iunno like. The earliest Balls we have records of were literally 1880-90s, predominantly Black (the oldest drag/ballroom performer we have records of was a Black trans woman from DC), and was one of the only safe places for trans people to exist as themselves. So I find the idea of writing it off due to a much more recent gentrification and commercialization of it as ignorant as how people often treat other demonizes or commercialized Black art.
“I just don’t like the spectacle it makes of transness and harm it causes-“
Baby all Blackness is spectacle to crackers and An Amount of modern drag is white people doing minstrelsy of all Black women - not in the sense of gender at all but in the sense of race.
Like. A lot of Black culture in the US specifically is Big and Loud *because* of the repression of it we’ve faced and the force towards respectability politics, which has echoed to queer culture because queer culture in the US is made vast majority from Black culture. Our existence is a spectacle so why not make a show out of why they hate us and try to erase us so that they can’t get rid of even more.
Hating “the spectacle” of an actual performance art form is solidly rooted in white supremacy and white cultural notions of propriety/respectability. Many aspects of “spectacle” seen in drag are directly taken from Ballroom or adapted from it/vogueing.
In summary: traditions are meant to change with situational, cultural, and environmental need but still be sustained as part of a culture. Gentrification is a poison to this that makes it harder for those the culture belongs to to practice it as it should. White ancestral shame is a poison that makes them think they should nuke everything historic/cultural that makes them uncomfortable regardless of whether it’s theirs or whether it’s something they stole and gentrified. Also yeag like,,, it’s a job/gig income predominantly for societal “undesirables” to make money when they’re under/unemployed due to marginalization. And it’s also been gentrified to *gestures at RuPaul, et al.*
No matter what you think about drag or ballroom, poor predominantly racialized trans folks still gon be doing it because it is part of our culture no matter what tv shows and big names and people who have only seen those do to it, and it’s always going to be seen as one of the “disreputable” pathways to transness that makes other trans people look down on them because of the complicated ties to transmisogyny, because until someone publicly says the words “Im also a trans woman”, WE also view them as a personification of what we fear the world sees us as—a man in a dress—rather than an egg finding their way to gender in a way we deem unacceptable because it doesn’t align with how we think it “should” be done.
And I think that’s on us honestly, not on them. If we say it can take as long or as quickly and as easily or messily for someone to sort out their gender as needed, this also has to be extended to the transmisogynized we view as “disreputable” regardless of if/when they reach a conclusion we deem acceptable or whether they die in the shell, never able to remove their masks fully.
Aight yall gon head and eviscerate me now
The above post is completely right, and I am a white australian trans woman - I felt like there was something ick about generalisations about drag, a specifically non-white tradition. I didn't want to post anything to anti-drag posts initially as I felt 'out of my depth', but what OP is saying also mirrors what is true down under and more of my fellow white trans girls need to pay attention.
Now is the time for a friendly reminder that the now-slur "Tranny" comes from Australia, and referred both to trans women and cis drag queens initially. The sources is none other than the woman who invented the word "transmisogyny" herself: Julia Serano who then cites Kate Bornstein in a now-lost essay/blog-post (I wonder if it is on wayback machine? I'd love to read an important piece of transfeminist history!) "Who you calling a Tranny?". It was specifically to unite us "full-time" girls with "part-time" girls. Sure it's meaning has changed and can change, but it is important to point out it's etymology and purpose, just like with the word "bad" from "Bæddel". While the initial source is lost, this is from Julia Serano herself. Specifically, the word "tranny" was originally meant to be our word, and specifically totally separate from any medicalisation. It was so generic that Julia Serano stopped using it herself and started using the more specific word 'transsexual' in order to specifically articulate transmisogyny and dangers to our right to change sex. "Tranny" was never originally meant to be short for "transexual", but more "transgender":
Our history is bound up with drag, whether we like it or not. Our history and survival is bound up with it - and overwhelmingly drag/ballrooms scenes were the place a lot of black and PoC trans women call home as the above post correctly states, which is also the case down under too - especially first nation folk and dolls from migrant backgrounds. It's the origin of the word 'doll', after all. Us white trans girls owe everything to the actions of black and PoC trans women. They, not us, did virtually all the fighting. And many of those "cis gay" men in drag scenes... often it's their space to find out they are transfeminine, especially if they don't have all the epistemic privileges us white girls do. Please keep your transfeminism intersectional and anti-racist, because without appreciating the specifically black/PoC history of drag - and indeed trans activism - a non-intersectional transfeminism can easily turn into ugly racism and white supremacy.

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“Flesh Irradiation” is an interactive multimedia performance art project started by SUKA OFF in 2014
eivren cooldown –
Vampire Themed Outfits; {Credit}
This is Where it Ends, Mats Tusenfot, 2012

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Mariana Enriquez: "Dónde estás corazón" en Los peligros de fumar en la cama. 2015.
Marco Poloni - Black Hole, from The Majorana Experiment, 2010
Aleksandra Waliszewska
Chelsea Wolfe for Heretic
women being in love with women is so beautiful

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Feeling absolutely feral with no outlet and no choice but to function and pretend and hold my breath and show no emotions until I can be alone and breakdown by myself again