when will a husband and wife who are widely rumored to be vampires invite me up to their once-gorgeous mansion which has fallen into some disrepair and then serve a beautiful meal that they barely pick at, sipping from glasses of dry red wine instead as they take turns complimenting me borderline-salaciously while shooting each other conspiratorial looks that i don’t know how to interpret before one of them insists that it’s getting far too late for me to be going back home alone and now i simply must spend the night…..

in case the implied ending wasn’t clear enough: and then i get railed.

your kpop boys have no ass or tits because monsta x stole them all. they filled the quota. ur faves r flat as ironing board so that monsta x can thrive. amen.

pull your headphone cord halfway out the jack for forbidden instrumentals