I see you, baby.

I have got you.

You look brighter than ever,

I don't know why my cheeks are wet and the headache is quite severe.

I remember you promised me a sweet little Disneyland of our own,

Where I'd be the queen and sit on a throne.

Baby, it's not done we promised to stay together even when death do us part.

I see you lying in my lap and I feel the pain wrenching my heart.

I don't know why you are not opening your eyes,

When I am this close to you and waiting for you to blink it, twice.

The air rushing through my hair and touching your pale skin,

And you? You lie here just like that and not flirting with me.

This makes my eyes brim.

I dare you to wake up,

Or I'll tie my hair and wash all the makeup.

See, I am going to marry your best friend,

Or cut the sham and bring it all to an end!

I hate these people who are telling me to be strong,

You are not talking to me and not even telling me where I went wrong.

I can feel something awkward happening inside my stomach,

There you are sitting under your favourite Magnolia tree, what the fuck?

I can see you turning around, your eyes blinked at me twice,

I extend my hand as I rush from the ground and rise.

You hold it!!!!!!

You held my hand, just right now.

"Here is your kingdom, my princess and to your service I bow."

I see you, baby.

I have got you.

It doesn't matter if I can't hear the beat of my heart,

Today while I was lying on my bed,

With headphones on, fingers going through my hair and watching the Diwali lights go on and off.

I reminded myself of a white building,

But that's not important, what important is I remembered you remembering the white building.

And suddenly I got saddened by the smell of your presence.

When did I fetched this mesmerizing smell from your body?

Was it the time when we were holding hands and you were just an inch away from me?

Was it the time when we were bursting out laugh balloons by telling each other our pasts?

Maybe, I got it when you wrapped me softly in your arms.

Maybe, I got it when I was sleeping like a baby in your lap.

Or, maybe you transferred the smell when you cuddled and begged that I stayed a little longer.

Or, maybe I didn't clenched your smell after all; maybe I just happen to know how you smell.

And now I am just recalling it.

Do you agree with the possibility?

Don't deny because I know how you smell, at least from today.

You know what?

I don't want to solve the mystery and sleep with a part of you tonight.

Can I?

Who am I asking?

It's too late,

I should be getting up now.

As I remove the blanket from my body and slip my feet into the flip flops,

I see that white bedsheet screaming about the night we spent.

I shushed it by adjusting the corners by a bit and then I saw you sleeping like a baby on the other side.

I wanted to climb on you and repeat the episode all over again,

But stopped myself and pecked a kiss on your bare shoulder.

Shit! I forgot about the lipstick mark.

But who cares when you are mine now.

As I sip my morning tea enjoying the weather outside from our balcony of the house we bought together-

I bite my lips remembering the time we spent the last night.

How you were all about me and I was all over you.

How I was being playful and trying to slip away from your wild clenched fist.

And how everytime you pulled me closer and showered my body with passionate kisses.

I can still feel your fingers painting me like I am a canvas and you are the one fiery painter.

Painter who is trying to break the walls and colour my soul with the most vibrant colours.

I remember when you entered into me; I don't know how you manage to be so rough and yet subtle at the same time.

When you touched my soul, I remember you wiped my tears that were nothing but incarnation of nirvana.

You went all over the places I never imagined you would but to be honest, my favourite part is still when you licked profusely the neck!

I can still smell you as I am wearing your black shirt which by the way is too long for me to fit, but it's okay!

I sense you, are you coming closer?

Shit! Don't hold me from behind; I might demand all of it again and again and again.

But who is to stop you, right?

Now that I turn around, look you into the eyes

All I need to say is that you are sufficient for me baby, but am I for you?

You smirked and leaned over to shut my thoughts up by a watery, crispy, and untamed kiss.

Are you fucking reading my mind?

Though it's too late and I should be getting up,

But I'd rather prefer climbing up on the night, yet again.

I am going under the covers,

Broken to pieces.

Even tried ending my life.

Felt like I needed my father's hug and mumma's slap for even thinking about ending the one thing I should be thankful about.

Then you were there.

I told you about the attempt.

You slapped gently but hard enough.

You hugged hard but gentle enough.

I guess now I owe my life to you.

I guess I am alive and feeling the life because of you.

I don't know how far we would go,

But I am damn sure it is going to be a hell of a journey.

Thanks for saving me a seat on the bus, everyday.

Thanks for making me feel it's ok to be vulnerable.

Thanks for helping me understand the importance of my life and my smile.

Since then, I have not once left my smile behind.

Since then, I have gained trust in humans all over again.

Since then, I am living the life like a newborn.

Thanks for covering some miles with me and even for me.

Hope wo cover some more as partners but even if we don't,

My body is sleeping, but my soul is strolling in the park.

It's December, I can feel the fog.

All I hear is crying wind and barking dog.

They think I am dead, my body lacks any action.

Little are they familiar with the term- Astral projection.

I know my home and the shortest route,

My heart is bleeding in pain and that old dead lady on the bench is having sour fruit.

It's like I want to wake up,

But there is a little girl in the park, no eyes, let's just not talk about the makeup.

I never want to return to my body, unless everyone thinks I am dead,

Until am satisfied that the very last tear is shed.

Snow cladded mountains, I always wanted to visit.

Now everything is dark and my nerves are placid.

That old lady and little girl is coming right to me,

No, I should run, run faster, run better,run, run, run before they can even see.

Here is my house, there is my body with my boyfriend's ring.

But deep down I go to the park and help the eerie girl swing.

Now that I am inside, my body is trying to sleep,

I can hear the old lady singing, and little girl breathing really deep.

Wake me up, wake me up, I wanna wake up.

It's suffocating when you are mentally ill and you can't even get a check up.

Just miss me

when I am not around.

I don't want us to stay together

But know that I am there for you

Even when I am not around.

Cry as much as you can

Imagining your head on my shoulder

Even when I am not around.

Don't let the inner child die

Just laugh remembering my old jokes

Even when I am not around.

Take a deep breath whenever you feel anxious

Thinking I am holding you from behind

Even when I am not around.

0pp

Explore off the beaten tracks

I will be there ensuring your safety

Even when I am not around.

We might stand thousands of feet apart

Feel my presence

Even when I am not around.

Remember that you can get through anything

My hands are on your cheeks wiping off your tears

I am standing in front of you saying, "you are my strong woman."

Because I am always around

Instead of being soft, put out your heart as pebble.

Yes, meanwhile, you might get hurt.

But, honey! Don't you want to brush down the dirt?

Life is very short to comprehend.

Today, I took some time and went out on the street.

Alone.

Like always I was letting my thoughts overcome my walking speed.

That's when it happened!

The magic.

I looked up in the sky and voilaaa there was the moon!

So white and impeccable that I could dip my favourite choco cookie in it and drink all of it.

Yes, yes we are still admiring the moon it's just that I am a little hungry.

Ah! The moon.

Fighting hard to pave its way out of the cloud but that poor fella was failing all the attempts.

Smokey enough to take the formation of a heart, those clouds.

They were welcoming the moon to embellish the beauty but guess who is adamant, the moon.

Let them fight for a bit and I should concentrate on my thoughts or atleast do something about my starvation.

Eyes see the pine tree up above my head, oh kill me already!

I could see the moon reflecting the light and making the tree twinkle.

A car coming by? Who cares one must pull the brakes right?

The moon and clouds were our prime subjects.

Oh! But the clouds are transcending.

The moon thinks it won the fight but did not get that the clouds broke the heart and make it shine.

Hope next time I see you, you are little less arrogant and more submissive to the efforts.

Dear moon! The tea is ready and it's almost late.

When you feel exhausted and not stable.

When you want to cry and your emotions are impalpable.

When your inner animal finally gets an unsuccessful fable.

When underestimation becomes understandable and all the logics add up to miserable.

When you are all wet but urged to walk on a bare cable.

When you know your life is in pickles but the jar won't rest on a table.

When you succeed over depression but find hard to read a nursery label.

Everything feels good but somehow, you feel incapable.

When you couldn't speak directly and look for poems to express.

Even the thought of it is miserable,right?

A period of unwanted crying over a stupid fight.

A week of sleepless nights and when days seem lousy,

All you need is a huge tee, hot water bag and a pair of comfy trousy.

Oh! After PMS comes itself the tragic.

A piece of chocolate and a caring cuddle can do the magic.

Periods make even my nails bleed in pain,

Gives birth to an irritated self.

And here I am in the form of someone's vow thread untethered .

तुम बंदिशों की बेड़ियों में बंधे हो,

Right there in between your fingers in the form of that drawing brush.

I don't know who you are painting but her cheeks are clearly pink and blush .

You were moving the brush like you would someday move your fingers on my neck,

That day I will be no less than an ace in the deck.

I was all agog and ready to change the second gear.

Because you are the one who filled the darkness with chandelier.

But the girl from the painting,

She is pretty and her figure so enchanting.

I don't know if I fit in your brisk and shabby world,

Give me a glance am all dainty and have my hairs curled.

Straight? I think you'd like it straight.

Should I just say what I want to and leave it on the fate?

I need you to dip the brush in the colour,

The colour of my choice of which the universe favour.

And you know what I saw love today.

Right here when you hold me standing right behind,

Love me beyond any poem.

Love me like a prose that Shakespeare had never thought of.

Take the liquidity from the water; heat from the fire; alpha from universe and give it to me as a souvenir of love.

Hey there!

Lose your voice.

The passive and the active noise.

You are noone so don't claim to have a choice.

If you are boy be a man, if a girl be poise.

Relationships will never fill the void so you better take your own advice.

They will always adore the tag on your clothes but never understand how you earned that price.

Life is a game of snake and ladder and you have to lose as there is no six on the dice.

No six means no start.

Go on, go ahead.

Try once or to feel better make it twice.

No one is going to stand by you.

No matter you categorize them as foe or nice.

Don't show them your injury

because they are good at spraying pepper rather than putting ice.

Earned a bread for living?

Feed the poor, dog, family and eat the left slice.

But trynna lose you voice.