Seriously Irrelevant

Here’s a picture of our cat holding a picture of our cat holding a picture of our cat

Fallout 76

The Sweet Southerner

heavy southern accent (genuine or put-upon), super candy sweet tone that will give the customer cavities

“honey” “y’all” “ain’t” “oh my goodness” “you’re very welcome hun”

1920s Pep & Charm

talking like you’re the owner of the local sodafountain (or john mulaney)

“by golly” “attaboy” “why/yes of course!” “yep/yeppers!”

The Helpful Dude

very casual yet earnest language, cali surfer aesthetic

“yeah man” “i got you dude” “cool cool cool” “no prob” “uhhhh”

Dealing With a Baby Boomer

very confident professional language in case they think you’re not qualified, no contractions, avoiding “uhhh” or “ummm,” faking that you checked with your supervisor and give them the exact same info you gave them before

“yes ma’am/sir” or just “yes/no” “you’re welcome” “one moment please”

I Am The Manager

all kinds of authority in tone, almost euphoric in nature while also being polite even though they’re yelling on the other end of the line/counter

:) I AM THE MANAGER :)

Present But Mentally Done

lots of paralanguage, for example “mhm” “mmm” “uhhhh” *sigh*

flat speech, tired, is present but not really wanting to help or be here at all, may sound a little drunk but not actually drunk. just tired

Sympathetic Sally

tone of voice so caring that it could put a therapist to shame, wanting to help, on the customer’s side

“oh i am SO sorry about that” “let’s see what we can do!” “this is how i can help you” “i apologize profusely”

Military Background

very short responses, no-nonsense tone with minimal emotion, uses military alphabet to spell things, keeps conversation as fast and efficient as possible

“yes/no” “affirmative” “i can do that” 

There’s Nothing I Don’t Know

super confident, everything you say sounds like The Law, customers are almost intimidated by your knowledge

“according to our policy” “there is a fee for…” “your coupon is expired, no exceptions”

I Know Nothing

taking messages is your forte, unsure sounding tone, deflecting responsibility

“i can take a message and contact my supervisor” “let me confirm and get back to you” “i’ll get my manager”

And lastly,

The Millenial:

Before vs After Adoption