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first of all: 💀 why does every enemies-to-lovers dynamic either hit like a literary gut punch… or feel like two cardboard cutouts aggressively flirting?

there is no in between. i don’t make the rules.

and if you’re here, i’m guessing you’ve tasted both. the elite. the devastating. the oh my god i need to lie down after this confession scene kind… and also the ones where you’re like “why do you hate each other again? because he smirked?? be serious.”

yeah. we’re fixing that today.

⚔️ if you’re writing enemies-to-lovers, we need to talk.

because most people aren’t writing enemies.

they’re writing:

mild annoyances

workplace rivals with ✨tension✨

people who had one (1) misunderstanding in chapter two and never emotionally recovered

and listen. that’s fine. that’s a trope. it’s cute.

but it’s not enemies-to-lovers.

🩸 step one: define your enemy

an enemy is not someone who:

is kinda rude

disagrees with your protagonist

has a “bad attitude” (???)

an enemy is someone who cannot coexist with your protagonist without cost.

read that again. PLEASE.

their goals? incompatible. their values? clashing at a moral level. their existence? actively making the other’s life worse.

what i'm talking about:

opposing sides of a war

hunter vs hunted

“if i let you live, everything i believe in collapses” energy

if they can just… avoid each other and be fine?

that’s not enemies. that’s tension with good lighting.

🗡️ step two: make the hatred make sense

this is where people fumble it CONSTANTLY.

they jump straight to:

banter → sexual tension → accidental hand touch → oh no i’m in love

NO. come back. sit down.

before attraction, there needs to be justified hostility.

and not surface-level “you insulted me once.”

i’m talking about (and yes please quote 'rin t' on this!):

betrayal

loss

ideological opposition

deeply ingrained bias they don’t even realize they have

the kind of thing where, if someone asked your character:

“why do you hate them?”

they wouldn’t hesitate. they’d have a list

the twist:

👉 both sides need to be right. (or at least feel right)

if one is clearly wrong, you don’t have enemies-to-lovers. you have “problematic person gets redeemed because they’re hot.”

and we are not doing that today.

🔥 step three: attraction should feel like a problem

this is where it gets fun. :)

when they start catching feelings, it should not be:

“oh this is inconvenient but kind of exciting :)”

it should be:

“this is catastrophic. this compromises everything.”

love = risk.

because now:

their judgment is compromised

their loyalties are tested

their identity starts to crack

they should be actively resisting it.

denying it. sabotaging it. making worse choices because of it.

if falling in love doesn’t cost them something?

you skipped the entire point of the trope.

🕯️ step four: force proximity (but PLEASEEE make it hurt)

you can’t resolve enemies-to-lovers from opposite sides of the map.

they need to be stuck together.

BUT-important distinction-

not in a cute “one bed at the inn” way (yet. we’ll get there. don’t worry.)

in a:

forced alliance

mutual threat

political arrangement

survival situation

where they have to rely on each other…

while still fundamentally not trusting each other.

this creates:

tension

vulnerability leaks

moments where they see each other as human (ugh. disgusting. hate that.)

and every time that happens?

it should complicate things further.

💔 step five: the shift is not soft. it’s violent.

i need you to understand this.

the transition from enemies → lovers should feel like something breaking.

because it is.

their worldview? breaking. their assumptions? breaking. their sense of self? yeah. that too.

there should be a moment where:

they realize they were wrong about the other person

and it doesn’t feel good.

it feels like:

guilt

confusion

grief for the version of reality they believed in

this is what makes the payoff hit.

not the kiss.

the reckoning.

🗝️ step six: they don’t “fix” each other

if i see one more enemies-to-lovers arc where:

“he became a better person because she loved him 🥺”

i will simply pass away.

they don’t fix each other.

they force each other to confront things they were avoiding.

that’s different.

love isn’t the solution.

it’s the pressure that reveals the cracks.

🖤 final thought (and a gentle threat):

if your enemies-to-lovers could be replaced with:

friends-to-lovers + mild inconvenience

and nothing changes?

you didn’t go far enough.

push them harder.

make it uglier. riskier. a little bit devastating.

so, question to you my chaotic writers... what’s the real reason your characters hate each other?

not the surface answer.

the one they’d never admit out loud.

i’m nosy. tell me everything. 👀 I LOVE HEARING your thoughts (i reply because yes, i am a real person!)

I HAVE DIGITAL PRODUCTS!!!

if you're writing dark academia feel free to check out this packet filled with all the juicy prompts to spark ideas!

need help with your opening pages?! i have a free ebook for you all (aesthetic, cohesive and actually informative! it's free! but tips are highly appreciated!)

PAINED: through gritted teeth, unaware of the sound because of the pain, head falling back, curling around the source of pain in an attempt to shield self

CELEBRATORY: jumping up and down, screeching with surprise then quickly covering mouth and laughing, grabbing hand of loved ones, grinning widely after

HORRIFIED: backing up, wide eyed, shaking, involuntary sound quickly muffled with a hand, followed by teary eyes

ANGRY: guttural, screaming until there is no air left, approaching the source of anger, turning red, eyes brimming with tears of rage

EXCITED: higher pitched, frantic, unable to contain noise, suffocating on the emotions

GRIEF: guttural and wordless, coming from deep in their chest, dropping to knees, doubling over, repeated sounds of agony

More writing tips

For anyone who doesn’t know, my favourite style of writing is fight scenes. But I don’t keep them generic—for example, just saying he hit him and she hit him back. Instead of trying to invent fight scenes from nothing, I study real and fictional fights: wrestling, video game moves, and combat sports. From there, I translate those movements into my writing. Let’s look at some examples.

Suplex:

A description of the move:

The attacker grabs the opponent around the waist, lifts them off the ground, and hurls them backwards.

How I wrote it:

“The robot found himself falling right into Knuckles' waiting arms. The echidna, having recovered from the earlier sand attack, locked his powerful arms around Gemerl from behind and executed a swift suplex. The move drove Gemerl's head into the sand, and before the robot could recover, Knuckles followed up with a thunderous punch that sent Gemerl flying back across the beach.”

Monkey Flip:

A description of the move:

The attacker grabs their opponent from the front. They then throw themselves backward, planting either one or both feet into their stomach, and using the momentum to flip someone over.

How I wrote it:

“His forearm blocked the shaft cleanly, his other hand gripping low around the knight's armored torso. With a quick drop, Sonic fell onto his rear, planted one foot squarely into the robot's midsection and let its forward momentum do the rest. He kicked up as he pulled back, the technique flipping the machine clean over his head.”

Roundhouse → Hook Kick Combo:

A description of the move:

The attacker throws a roundhouse kick first, following the motion by snapping a hook kick.

How I wrote it:

“Without letting momentum die, she pivoted to the next robot and lashed out a precise roundhouse kick, the strike smashing into its midsection with enough force to dent its plating. As the machine staggered, Blaze retracted her leg, and before it could hit the ground, her right leg snapped up in a sharp hook kick that whipped across its head.”

Wing Chun Chain Punch/Lin Wan Kuen:

A description of the move:

The attacker throws a rapid series of straight punches down the centerline, one hand striking while the other retracts, creating a constant chain of fast, direct hits that overwhelm the opponent.

How I wrote it:

"Zheng flowed between styles as seamlessly as breathing. A forward attacker got too close, trying to grapple, but Zheng slipped under his arms and delivered several lightning-fast chain punches to the ribs—sharp, controlled strikes that forced the man’s body to jerk with each impact."

Arkham Beatdown:

A description of the move:

Two palm strikes to the torso, a quick punch to the gut, another palm strike, then an upward elbow strike to the face. The sequence then repeats very quickly, making the attack look like a rapid, relentless flurry.

How I wrote it:

“The first palm strike landed with a resounding thud, knocking the wind out of the assassin's chest. The second palm strike came almost instantly after, causing the assassin to stumble back further. Espio seized the opportunity and delivered a quick, powerful punch to the assassin's lower gut, doubling them over in pain.

But Espio wasn't finished yet. He spun on his heel and delivered a swift elbow strike to the assassin's temple, sending them reeling. With impressive speed and precision, he continued the pattern of strikes, landing two palm strikes to the chest, followed by a punch to the gut, and an elbow strike to the head, all in quick succession. The assassin was completely overwhelmed, unable to keep up with Espio's lightning-fast movements."

My process is simple: I watch the move, break it down into steps, understand the purpose of the move, and rewrite it in a way that fits my story. You don’t need to copy it word for word—just use the basics as a template and feel free to add your own variation.

Updated 19th October 2025 More writing tips, review tips & writing description notes

Dialogue Tags

Facial Expressions

Masking Emotions

Smiles/Smirks/Grins

Eye Contact/Eye Movements

Blushing

Voice/Tone

Body Language/Idle Movement

Thoughts/Thinking/Focusing/Distracted

Silence

Memories

Happy/Content/Comforted

Love/Romance

Sadness/Crying/Hurt

Confidence/Determination/Hopeful

Surprised/Shocked

Guilt/Regret

Disgusted/Jealous

Uncertain/Doubtful/Worried

Anger/Rage

Laughter

Confused

Speechless/Tongue Tied

Fear/Terrified

Mental Pain

Physical Pain

Tired/Drowsy/Exhausted

Eating

Drinking

Warm/Hot

friendly reminder that the word “said” did not kill your scene.

you don’t need to replace every line of dialogue with “he rasped” or “she intoned” or “they gasped breathlessly” (please no). your dialogue is not dying because of your tags. it’s dying because the rhythm is off.

👀 let me explain:

✨ what is dialogue rhythm?

it’s the flow of speech between characters. the beats. the pacing. the way words bounce, interrupt, cut off, trail, clash. it’s less about the words themselves and more about the energy they carry.

dialogue rhythm is what makes two people arguing feel like a boxing match, or a confession feel like a car crash. it’s how you keep tension in the room. if your rhythm sucks, no amount of fancy tags is gonna save you.

🔪 signs your dialogue rhythm is off:

every character is speaking in full, polished sentences like it’s a staged play

nobody ever interrupts, stammers, hesitates, or doubles back

the emotional pace stays flat, even in high-stakes scenes

all the action beats are “he nodded” “she smiled” “they looked at her” over and over

you read it out loud and it feels like a middle school skit

👂 here’s how to fix it:

Read your dialogue out loud. Like, actually out loud. if it sounds robotic, it is robotic. listen for places where people would realistically pause, ramble, get cut off, or trail off. insert those beats. add the mess.

Use white space and formatting to control speed. short lines = fast pace. long blocks = slow burn. a line break right before someone says something unhinged? elite move. example: “You really think I’d betray you?” Pause. “You already did.”

Cut 30% of your dialogue. if you can remove the line and nothing breaks, it was filler. chop chop. more silence = more tension. not every reply needs a full answer.

Let action interrupt speech. don’t wait for the character to finish talking before you show what they’re doing. intercut body language or physical actions mid-line. it mimics how people actually talk. like this: “Don’t touch that—” she lunged forward, grabbing his wrist. “—you don’t know what it is.”

Stop overexplaining with tags. you don’t need to say “she shouted angrily” if the line is literally “GET OUT.” trust the line. if the dialogue’s strong, “said” works just fine. if the dialogue’s weak, “murmured” won’t save it.

🛑 but what about dialogue tags?

use them! but treat them like punctuation, not prose. the goal is clarity, not ✨flair✨. you want the reader to know who’s speaking without noticing the machinery.

“Said” is invisible. “Snarled” is a spice. Use spices sparingly.

better yet: mix tags with beats to keep rhythm tight. example:

BAD: “I hate you,” he said angrily. “I hate you,” she snapped back.

BETTER: “I hate you,” he said, jaw clenched. She didn’t even blink. “Good. Then we’re even.”

💡 TL;DR: your scene doesn’t need fancy tags. it needs movement. conflict. silence. interruptions. character-specific tone. you fix that by fixing the rhythm, not the verbs.

go back to your WIP, open your messiest conversation scene, and test it. read it aloud. break it up. cut what drags. add one beat of silence. give someone a half-finished sentence and a reason to storm out.

watch how fast it starts to breathe.

P.S. I made a free mini eBook about the 5 biggest mistakes writers make in the first 10 pages 👀 you can grab it here for FREE:

🕯️ download the pack & write something cursed: