if youâre writing enemies-to-lovers, read this
first of all: đ why does every enemies-to-lovers dynamic either hit like a literary gut punch⌠or feel like two cardboard cutouts aggressively flirting?
there is no in between. i donât make the rules.
and if youâre here, iâm guessing youâve tasted both. the elite. the devastating. the oh my god i need to lie down after this confession scene kind⌠and also the ones where youâre like âwhy do you hate each other again? because he smirked?? be serious.â
yeah. weâre fixing that today.
âď¸ if youâre writing enemies-to-lovers, we need to talk.
because most people arenât writing enemies.
theyâre writing:
mild annoyances
workplace rivals with â¨tensionâ¨
people who had one (1) misunderstanding in chapter two and never emotionally recovered
and listen. thatâs fine. thatâs a trope. itâs cute.
but itâs not enemies-to-lovers.
𩸠step one: define your enemy
an enemy is not someone who:
is kinda rude
disagrees with your protagonist
has a âbad attitudeâ (???)
an enemy is someone who cannot coexist with your protagonist without cost.
read that again. PLEASE.
their goals? incompatible. their values? clashing at a moral level. their existence? actively making the otherâs life worse.
what i'm talking about:
opposing sides of a war
hunter vs hunted
âif i let you live, everything i believe in collapsesâ energy
if they can just⌠avoid each other and be fine?
thatâs not enemies. thatâs tension with good lighting.
đĄď¸ step two: make the hatred make sense
this is where people fumble it CONSTANTLY.
they jump straight to:
banter â sexual tension â accidental hand touch â oh no iâm in love
NO. come back. sit down.
before attraction, there needs to be justified hostility.
and not surface-level âyou insulted me once.â
iâm talking about (and yes please quote 'rin t' on this!):
betrayal
loss
ideological opposition
deeply ingrained bias they donât even realize they have
the kind of thing where, if someone asked your character:
âwhy do you hate them?â
they wouldnât hesitate. theyâd have a list
the twist:
đ both sides need to be right. (or at least feel right)
if one is clearly wrong, you donât have enemies-to-lovers. you have âproblematic person gets redeemed because theyâre hot.â
and we are not doing that today.
đĽ step three: attraction should feel like a problem
this is where it gets fun. :)
when they start catching feelings, it should not be:
âoh this is inconvenient but kind of exciting :)â
it should be:
âthis is catastrophic. this compromises everything.â
love = risk.
because now:
their judgment is compromised
their loyalties are tested
their identity starts to crack
they should be actively resisting it.
denying it. sabotaging it. making worse choices because of it.
if falling in love doesnât cost them something?
you skipped the entire point of the trope.
đŻď¸ step four: force proximity (but PLEASEEE make it hurt)
you canât resolve enemies-to-lovers from opposite sides of the map.
they need to be stuck together.
BUT-important distinction-
not in a cute âone bed at the innâ way (yet. weâll get there. donât worry.)
in a:
forced alliance
mutual threat
political arrangement
survival situation
where they have to rely on each otherâŚ
while still fundamentally not trusting each other.
this creates:
tension
vulnerability leaks
moments where they see each other as human (ugh. disgusting. hate that.)
and every time that happens?
it should complicate things further.
đ step five: the shift is not soft. itâs violent.
i need you to understand this.
the transition from enemies â lovers should feel like something breaking.
because it is.
their worldview? breaking. their assumptions? breaking. their sense of self? yeah. that too.
there should be a moment where:
they realize they were wrong about the other person
and it doesnât feel good.
it feels like:
guilt
confusion
grief for the version of reality they believed in
this is what makes the payoff hit.
not the kiss.
the reckoning.
đď¸ step six: they donât âfixâ each other
if i see one more enemies-to-lovers arc where:
âhe became a better person because she loved him đĽşâ
i will simply pass away.
they donât fix each other.
they force each other to confront things they were avoiding.
thatâs different.
love isnât the solution.
itâs the pressure that reveals the cracks.
đ¤ final thought (and a gentle threat):
if your enemies-to-lovers could be replaced with:
friends-to-lovers + mild inconvenience
and nothing changes?
you didnât go far enough.
push them harder.
make it uglier. riskier. a little bit devastating.
so, question to you my chaotic writers... whatâs the real reason your characters hate each other?
not the surface answer.
the one theyâd never admit out loud.
iâm nosy. tell me everything. đ I LOVE HEARING your thoughts (i reply because yes, i am a real person!)
I HAVE DIGITAL PRODUCTS!!!
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